You Can't Quit!

I'm stopping in to say good-bye to my readers for a short time.  I'll be traveling to Europe in a few days, so my blog may suffer neglect for a couple weeks again.  But first I'll let you know what's been going on in my life recently.

I'm doing hard things.  It seems almost like I haven't been a rebelutionary until this year, now that I'm no longer a teen.  The last few weeks have stretched me to what I think is the max, and the road won't be getting easier any time soon.  I'm going through a big life change at the time, and there have been a number of other things also coming up to make it more difficult.

But even in this time, I have been learning.  Here's a brief list of some of the things that learned in the last few weeks.  As the Lord gives me grace to keep moving forward, perhaps I may expound on them in the future.

• Winners don't quit.  Quitters don't win.
• Sometimes the most effective sermon/motivational talk in your life is the one God gives you and you preach to yourself.
• Giving up may seem easier now, but it will only lower your confidence and make it harder next time.
• God's promises don't expire.
• In order to encourage/inspire others, you must be an overcomer and face the challenges in your life.  You must be willing to fight.
• God's grace is sufficient for each day.  In hard times, He gives just enough strength for the next small step.

This road ahead of me right now is not easy and to be honest, I'm afraid.  But at the moment, my only reasonable option seems to be to trust God and persevere.  Even in difficulty, I can say He has been faithful thus far and He promises to lead me the rest of the way.

The first words of the following song describe how I feel at this point.  But I know I'm not alone.  My desire for this time is that it would bring me closer to God, that I would run to and hide in Him, and encourage others to strive after greater things.

A New Focus

Yes, I have a new look and a new title!  It's crazy, I know.  I've been thinking of making a change for awhile.  I might still play around with the look yet.  What I wanted was to change my title to better describe the content and focus of this blog.  I would have changed the URL, but wanted my readers to still be able to find me.  Why "Desiring Something Greater"?  What is "something greater"? I don't know exactly.  That's what I'm setting out to find out.

What I do know is that we live in a world satisfied with mediocrity while there is a lot more to be had.  When I say I desire something greater, I'm not talking about the world's definition of great, or even that of many Christians.  I'm not talking about any career, degree, salary or social position.  I'm talking about seeking and living out God's purpose for my life.  He has a great plan for my life, if I yield to it and sacrifice my own plans.  I have desires that others may scoff at, but I believe God has placed them within me.

My biggest fear about this change is that I won't live up to what I write about or what people expect to see in my life.  When I say I desire or seek something greater, I don't claim to know what greatness is, to be great, and I can't even promise that I will one day achieve what I'm after.  I am reminded of Phillippians 3:12 where Paul says "Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ has made me his own." (ESV) My desire is simply that I will not settle for what I have or this world's expectations for my life, but to strive after a fulfilled life, even if that means nothing more than living a content and simple life that blesses others.

Some people may look down at my lack of goals or long-term plans.  To those I say I have been unsuccessful in planning my life thus far.  I can't even see a single day transpire the way I plan it.  It's in those times I'm reminded my life is not my own and I'm not in charge.

I have no idea where this blog will go from here or whether this new direction will even be successful.  I will continue to share my thoughts on life, God, books, writing and whatever else I discover.  I believe there's a lot of beauty to discover and much to learn from writers of the past and I intend to make the study of their works a part of my life.  It's what continues to inspire me, something I truly get excited over.  I don't want to shy away from difficult questions but to face them boldly and wrestle with them even if I never receive solid answers.  The apostle Paul told us to be mature in our thinking (1 Cor. 14:20) and to think on whatever is true, honourable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent and worthy of praise (Phil. 4:8). This is what I desire to do.

If I never do anything significant with my life, if I never make an notable difference, it will not be for lack of desire.  It will only be because I allowed giants of fear, failure and unbelief rule over me.  This is my stand against them.

Why Settle for Less?

Have you ever wondered why people so often settle for mediocrity? Do you ever wonder why people settle for so much less than they could have? Why do people settle for compromise? If you take some time to think about it, it's almost kind of strange. But the one conclusion I have come to on the matter is that some people are not ready for the necessary sacrifice of obtaining more.

If you look at the world around us, there's no doubt about it that standards continue to drop. Compromise and settling simply for what is average, or even less than average, is no longer very difficult. On the contrary, it's actually expected, especially of teenagers. But why would you settle for what is good when you can have that which is great? Why would you settle for average when you can strive for excellence? The two areas that I want to look at specifically in this post is that of marriage and our spiritual lives.

Nowadays, it's no surprise to hear of marriages crumbling and men and women who have divorced and remarried several times. It's considered "normal" for teenagers to go from one dating fling to the next, giving their emotions and bodies away to anyone without much of a second thought. And sadly, it's far too common in Christian circles as well. And yet, God wants us to experience so much more, and not just for a fleeting moment, but for a lifetime.

I've had people suggest to me that I'm too picky about the kind of man I want to marry someday, and that my expectations are too high. However, I know that when I get married, I will be committing "till death do us part." Therefore, I want to marry someone who I know I will be able to love, honour, respect, trust and submit to. At the same time, I also want to be sure that he will love me as Christ loves the church and gave Himself up for it. I want to have confidence that he will be a godly leader of our home and that he will be a good father to our children. He must be a man of godly character, integrity, a man who has a love for the Word of God and prayer. Jesus Christ must be at the core of his life and he must love Him above anything else.

I know this may sound very bold, but I don't believe that's too much to ask for. In fact, I believe that it's exactly what God wants for me and more. And if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that I will never be deserving of the wonderful man He will bring into my life. I know I have a long way to go before I will be ready to be a godly wife, but it's a work that God is doing within me. There are not many men who possess the qualities that I have described above, but I know they're out there, and by God's enabling grace, I intend to hold out for one. Why would I settle for less?

Now, in the area of our spiritual lives, there are also very few who strive to live above the mediocrity of modern North American Christianity. Most lives do not display the power of the Spirit and victory, but utter defeat. For all too many, reading the Bible is a drag, they have no desire to pray and they have no victory over sin and they accept that this is all there is. The think the power read about in Acts and the early church no longer exists. They read biographies of men and women of the past and say "That just doesn't happen anymore." And above all they're afraid that if they try and reach for something more, they will be outcasts. After all, they don't want to be called radical or extreme and certainly don't want to leave a legalistic or "holier-than-thou" impression. They're not willing to sacrifice the comfort of their present lives and endure any pain that may be necessary in living out Biblical Christianity.

The interesting thing is that such mediocrity is nothing new. I was struck by this while reading through Philippians this morning. Paul had a very difficult time finding men who were wholly devoted to God, men whom he could count on to support him in his work. Timothy, however, was a man he could count on and was confident of his genuine love for the church. In Philippians 2:20,21, he says:
"For I have no man likeminded, who will naturally care for your state.
For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ's."

And it's not only Paul who faced this challenge. Missionaries of the past have faced the same problem, that is, the inability to find men and women who are wholly devoted to Jesus Christ and the work of God. All too many are more concerned about earthly pleasures. So we see that yes, these men and women are few, but the truth is, each one of us can be one of the few.

I also never get the impression that Paul settled down where he was at. He always pressed on "toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." He didn't settle and he never gave up. And neither should we.

Philippians 4:8
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

I could say so much more, but I will leave it at that. But remember, if God has promised you treasure, will you dig until you find it, no matter how long it takes?

Distracted by God

This past week, I have been reminded once again about what really matters in life. As many of us grieved the loss of a young man, I have been unable to focus well on the tasks around me. I'm distracted by thoughts of a grieving family and the same prayers of comfort and peace again and again. I'm thankful for God who cares, who's arms are always open and ready to hold those who are hurting.

I sit down with a book, but my mind is somewhere else and I absorb little that I read. I pace around as I listen to soft music thinking and praying. I whisper comforting lyrics to myself and as a prayer to those who are hurting. I'm unable to concentrate on the work I have to do but rather find myself confused and unsure of what to do next. I wonder "What if it had happened to me, had been my brother?" My only word for how I feel is distracted.

An interesting thought came to me this morning. Distracted by God. This life has us distracted by so many things that we have very few moments in our day where we allow ourselves to focus on God, and even then, we're distracted by something else. What if we took just half our time that we generally spend focusing on other things and focused on God instead, spending time in prayer and communion with Him? How different wouldn't our lives be if we were rather distracted by God?

I've been reminded again of Clayton McDonald who went home to be with the Lord a year ago after being diagnosed with leukemia for the fourth time. His message is one that inspires, challenges and makes me cry every time I listen to it. If you haven't heard of him, I would strongly encourage to watch these videos:

Clayton McDonald

Clayton's Story

Look to God in times of trial. He gives strength to go on and comfort for the hurting.

Stand for Truth

The last few weeks have caused me to do a lot of thinking and a lot of praying about my life. I'm experiencing the Lord's cleansing in my life, and although it's a painful process, I know it's one that will result in growth. It has also caused me to look forward and pray that the Lord would give me a work to do, to have a meaningful life, that I would be able to make a difference with my life.

Yesterday, I heard yet again, a much needed message in my church. It showed me once again how far morality in our society has fallen. It's being overrun by the idea of "moral relativism" that says there is no absolute truth, nothing is black and white but rather gray, there's no real right or wrong, and people have to be tolerant of everything. It seeks to destroy all standards and the scary part is, the church is largely be sucked in by this deception.

We once lived in a society where leaders had a faith in God and upheld good moral principles. We once lived in a society that respected the sanctity of marriage and life. We once lived in a society where love was a choice and an action, not merely an emotion. We once lived in a society where men would boldly stand up for what was good and right and stand against evil.

What has it come to? We live in a land where homosexuality is accepted and the sanctity of marriage and the family has been destroyed. Babies are being killed everyday by the thousands. Men can boldly stand up and strategically plan and carry out great evil, despite the consequences, but are too cowardly to stand up for what is good, right and true for fear their reputation may be tainted. And sadly, many of us Christians are those cowards.

It has reminded me of a few books I would strongly recommend:
The Bravehearted Gospel by Eric Ludy
In His Steps by Charles Sheldon
Unfashionable: Making a Difference in the World by Being Different by Tullian Tchividjian

I am currently in the middle of reading In His Steps and it has challenged me to evaluate my Christian life. I have found myself to be very weak. How far am I willing to go? What am I willing to sacrifice? Am I willing to live in absolute obedience, no matter what the cost? These are difficult questions to answer but to be answered they must.

I'm very thankful for God's faithfulness and I know these are steps toward maturity in Christ. I know that He will provide the strength to stand up. May He ignite a passion in every one of us to live radical lives for the glory of God.

If It Can't Be Done, Then Do It

Last night I was speaking to my youth leader about what my next plans are. The fact that I had finished school through correspondence also came up. He mentioned that it was good to see somebody stay committed to it and actually finish, because many people that start don't. When I started, many people questioned whether or not I would really follow through with it. They pointed out that many people they knew started and didn't finish and some just really didn't think I would either. This really frustrated me. I didn't like having my commitment doubted and I was determined to do it and prove them all wrong. My youth leader asked if there had been pride in that, and to be honest, I had never given that a thought there. Maybe there was some pride involved, but that's not what I'm going to talk about.

When I thought about that later on I came to the realization that people need to do what I did more often. Prove people wrong. Often people come up with these great, brilliant, wonderful ideas that would be of so much good, until they tell someone else. Of course they're excited and want to tell somebody and rally some support, but instead, they get a response something like this: “Are you sure that's such a good idea? You aren't exactly qualified, don't have the resources, support, and would it really make that big of a difference? I mean, what if it doesn't work out in the end? You would have wasted all that time, energy, effort, resources, and good talent that could have been better used elsewhere.” And the person responds something like this, with a bit of a discouraged sigh: “Yeah, I guess you're right. If you think about it, it is quite risky and there's a lot to lose. And if I failed, I would just look like a total loser. I'll just forget about it.”

I think this is pretty common. Chances are, most brilliant ideas don't even make it into the world for fear of rejection. Can you relate to this in your own life? The truth is, we weren't meant to give up on ideas or settle for it-probably-won't-work-out-anyways. As Christians we are meant to step up, fight, and conquer, to live a victorious life and do great things for God. This is the Rebelutionary life.

Maybe that some brilliant idea that you have does look, according to all reason impossible. That's why we serve a great God who delights in doing the impossible and coming through for us, ensuring that all the glory goes to Him. If you look into the Bible, we see God constantly doing the impossible. He parted the Red Sea, defying the law of gravity. The virgin Mary conceived the Lord Jesus, which is physically impossible. Jesus fed 5 000+ people with five loaves of bread and two fish, which goes against all human reason. We have a God who delights in doing these things. And if we are called to be like Jesus, then we must do so as well.

Now, I don't want to throw away the issue of godly counsel, because it's often very important. There may very well be cases where God uses individuals to tell you something is not such a good idea and I don't want to make that void. But all too often, I think we could do a lot more great things in life and for God if we really just aside the can't-do-it attitude and just did it. And when it's done, give God the glory. I wouldn't have been able to finish school on my own. I relied heavily on God's strength and grace and devoted much prayer time to the matter. But I put forth my best, and praise God for what He did.

Music artist Jason Gray once shared a story of a time when he was discouraged and ready to give up. He called up a friend hoping for some sympathy, but instead, he told him the truth. He said “Jason, if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, then you're on the Lord's side. And if you're on His side, then you're on the side that's gonna win. And if you're on the side that's gonna win, when exactly do you think is a good time to give up?”

If it looks too hard, then do it. If it can't be done, then do it. If it's impossible, then do it. Do hard things. Be a Rebelutionary and give all praise and honour to God.

Press On

What do you think about rash decisions? I've concluded today that for the most part, they're not a good idea. I was very close today to dropping out of my chemistry course. Save me a lot of stress and headaches, why not? It's super hard and I'll be very lucky to pass this course and I don't need it. I talked to my guidance counselor for 15 minutes and my options are actually not too bad.

But then I started thinking about this a little bit more. I still need another credit in place of that and that would mean more time and possibly not being able to finish this year and more money, all for something I'm not sure is going to be any better. And I'm almost three-quarters of the way through and if I worked consistently it may only mean about two more weeks and then my exam. So realistically speaking, the whole idea was a pretty stupid one. But I just about did it to try and get out of something I don't like.

I said I couldn't do it. In and of myself and my own strength I can't. But Who do I serve? I serve a great and awesome God that can do a whole lot more than help me pass a chemistry course. By His power, I can. I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me. How can I share with others this incredible God when I can't put my trust in Him in such a matter as chemistry? What else do I promote? I really enjoy telling people about the Rebelution and Do Hard Things. And here I'm throwing in the towel for schoolwork that I don't understand. Where's the perseverance? Why am I not striving for excellence and doing the hard things God has put in my life?

Overall, I didn't have peace over withdrawing from this course. When I got to the store this afternoon, I flipped through the book Living Above the Level of Mediocrity, which I bought today, and began scanning chapter titles: Determination; Standing Tall When Tested; Standing Firm When Discouraged; Standing Strong When Tempted. Over and over the words ring. Press on. Persevere. DON'T GIVE UP! This is what God has called us to.

Feet Upon a Rock

Okay, this is humbling to say after my cheery post on Tuesday, but I had a really hard day yesterday. And it didn't help that there are so many things I can't understand, including myself. The Lord's chastisement really hurts, but it's all the proof I need that He loves me. In the evening, during my prayer time, I felt a calm come over me, much different than some of the frustrations of my day. I almost couldn't understand it. Then I remembered a few lines from a hymn:

In seasons of distress and grief,
My soul has often found relief,
And oft escape the tempter's snare,
By thy return, sweet hour of prayer.
--Sweet Hour of Prayer, William W. Walford, 1842

How often do we really flee to that safe retreat before our Father's throne? I, sooner seem to struggle along out of my own strength, wondering why I can't get anything right. That's because, in my own strength, I can't get anything right. In me dwells no good thing, but in Christ, I can be made perfect. I must empty myself and call on the Lord to be filled.

I am also thankful for God's mercy and forgiveness. As Jeremiah 31:34 says "...I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more." "He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings." (Psalm 40:2)

"By trying to grab fulfillment everywhere, we find it nowhere."
--Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity

New Seasons

I absolutely love watching the colours change as autumn comes around. I feel fresh and new today, but I can't say it's always been like that the last few weeks. I've been trying to deal with a lot of things as God is purifying me...it's been really hard. But I also feel a spiritual rain coming. I was blessed to take a walk this morning, with my skirt blowing in the wind and the leaves dancing around me. Then after I came back, spending some time with my nephew, playing in the leaves, as the rain came. I managed to convince him to come inside before we got too wet and get some of the morning's pictures and videos on the computer.

I was reading in James this morning and came across these words:

James 1:2-4
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

Joy? Perfect and entire, wanting nothing? That's not exactly now I would describe how I've been feeling the last couple of weeks. But it can be! Why should I count it all joy? Because I am growing stronger! No, it isn't easy, but it's definitely worth it in the end. The victory is mine. I just have to take hold of it.

You may know what it's like to seriously exercise after you haven't done it for awhile! You may feel pretty sore for a few days. Normally, I would complain and moan over the pain, but not this week. I actually find that it feels good to be sore. I know I'm getting stronger and it feels good. I thank God that He has given me the ability to exercise and use my body.

I was almost in wonder this morning. While some trees are already bare, some are still green. ...and that's wonderful! It's easy to be discontent and want someone else's life but maybe it's a lot like the trees. When they change at different times, we can enjoy the colours longer. It's more exciting when things are different.

Here are a few pictures I got this morning:
God bless you as you continue to serve Him!

Not Feeling

Very often (nearly always, I'm afraid) when I come to church my feelings are uppermost in my mind. This is natural. We are human, we are "selves," and it takes no effort at all to feel. But worship is not feeling. Worship is not an experience. Worship is an act, and it takes discipline. We are to worship in spirit and in truth." Never mind about the feelings. We are to worship in spite of them.
Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be a Woman

I can definitely identify with this. Worship really takes discipline because it is so easy to go on feelings. Some mornings I wake up and I don't feel like getting up for my devotions and sleep on. Then right before it's time to go down for breakfast, I rush through a couple of chapters of my Bible and hurry on with my day. Then things start going wrong and I usually know exactly why. I didn't spend the time with God I should have that morning or I did something right off that I don't want to admit was wrong and it goes down from there.

If you're at the top of a hill, a muddy one, perhaps, if you slip, if you catch yourself right away and regain your step, you'll likely be okay. Yes, the way may still be difficult, but you're still on you're two feet. But if you don't catch yourself right away, you might not be able to until you're at the very bottom and a serious mess at that.

I find I do that all the time. I slip and fail to catch myself right away, and my day goes downhill from there. Once I've made a few mistakes I don't want to admit, my conscience is guilty, worship is hard. It's hard to turn to Him, to worship, pray, and meditate on His Word. You see, the decisions we make first thing in the morning affect our whole day. We reap the fruit throughout the day of the first choices we make when we start our day.

Life for me is changing. I'm excited, but I know it won't always be easy. I marvel at God's faithfulness. He has been good to me.

It's Time to Pray

I must start by saying that I had a really good weekend and that God really blessed me. I had lots of time alone to spend time in His Word, in prayer, and I had time to start on the stack of books I all want to read.

Saturday morning, in my dosing state, I had a really strange dream. I won't share many of the details just because it involves other people, but I would like to share what God showed me, or rather, is showing me through it. In my dream, I received some news about a few individuals that really shocked me. I didn't think about it as I woke up but I remembered it when I sat down for breakfast all alone. First of all, I found it really strange to have a dream like this now. There was a time where I spent a lot of time in prayer for these individuals but I haven't seen either of them in a long time. Then I thought, well, maybe I should pray for them. But I hadn't seen these people in so long, I hardly felt like I had any responsibility to pray for them. How could I effectively pray for someone I haven't seen in so long? But I did have a rough idea where they are in their lives right now, and that alone told me that they could probably use a lot of prayer. And then it was like God was saying, "Margaret, it's time to pray again."

I was later reminded of the story Francois Carr shared at our church twice now, how one night the Spirit laid it on his heart to pray for a lady. He didn't know why he was supposed to pray for her but he was obedient to the Spirit's prompting. I may never know why God wants me to pray and that's okay, I just have to be obedient. I mean, have you ever had a perfect week? What if these people are going through some fires right now?

Our prayers do go farther than the ceiling. We were reminded about this just this weekend. Last Saturday at our prayer meeting, we prayed for Cuba as hurricane Gustav was sweeping through there at that very time. It had just come through Haiti where a large number of people lost their lives, but when it came through Cuba, not a single person lost their life as a result. Prayer really does something.

It's time to pray!

Not Qualified?

Acts 4:13
"Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus."

Do you ever feel inadequate or far from qualified for the task set before you? We all fall into this one at some point. Some one asks us to do something, and we like to step back, putting up our hands defensively and going on, reading out of our book of excuses why we can't do it. I do it myself all the time. We feel inadequate. We don't qualify. We don't have the talents, skill, or abilities. We know someone else who would be much better suited for the position. WHY ME?!!!

So when I read this verse this week, I took fresh courage. When Jesus chose His disciples, He chose ordinary people. Ordinary people, living ordinary lives, to serve an extraordinary God, and thus do extraordinary things. Fishermen. Not incredibly remarkable individuals, not particularly educated and intelligent...just ordinary people. I take fresh courage in that. Possibly God wants to show Himself strong in my weaknesses. Not possibly; I know He does.

God uses ordinary people, the unqualified, the inadequate. He doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. He takes our fears and failures and uses them for His honour and glory. But we can't do it ourselves; it has to be God's working in and through us. Peter spoke, empowered by the Holy Spirit, and thousands were added to the church. He couldn't have done it himself.

Acts 5:38,39
And now I say unto you, Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought:
But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God.

Even this Pharisee, Gamaliel, recognized that men's work comes to nought, but God's work will always prosper. It cannot be overthrown. Does that mean we won't ever face opposition when God calls us to do something? No. Jesus tells us that we will face opposition, but it will prosper.

Sorry, I hardly know how to put my thoughts into words. I hope that made some sense. Blessings!

God is Working

It's been almost a week since I last posted...it feels like yesterday. This week has gone by much faster than I initially anticipated. I know my posts haven't had very much in them lately but that doesn't mean my life is boring right now. Completely the opposite, actually. God has been doing a marvelous work in my life. It's not easy, but He's with us even through the fiery trials. I'm learning so much and He speaks to me in such everyday ordinary things if I'm willing to listen and learn. I'm learning not to get distracted in my life but rather to focus on the task at hand; serving my Lord and Saviour where He has placed me right now. Otherwise the results may not be so good at all. I hardly know what to say...words don't do justice what I've been learning and God's marvelous works in my life, even if I tried to explain.

The last few weeks I've often gone back to the Psalms for words of strength and encouragement.

Psalm 63:7, 8
Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.
My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.

One day I randomly turned to Psalm 60 and something caught my attention:
Psalm 60: 9-12
Who will bring me into the strong city? who will lead me into Edom?
Wilt not thou, O God, which hadst cast us off? and thou, O God, which didst not go out with our armies?
Give us help from trouble: for vain is the help of man.
Through God we shall do valiantly: for he it is that shall tread down our enemies.

Isn't that amazing! It reminds me of Job.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
-Selah, Before the Throne of God Above

God bless you and keep you. Give Him praise.

Take It Away?

Maybe you've been going through a string of trials like me and you've pleaded with God to take it away. Then you have to wonder and ask why He doesn't do it. Well, I knew better than to ask God to take it away because I knew He wouldn't do it but I had to wonder why. Then it dawned on me that if He always took everything away, we'd never learn anything, or grow for that matter. When we don't understand a math problem, we don't learn how to do it when it's taken away from us, but rather by working through it and practicing. We need to also recognize that we don't just have a Lord, Saviour, Redeemer, Friend, but that Jesus is also our Teacher and Guide. He doesn't just put something in front of us and then leave us on our own but helps us through it.

At first thought, we like to say "It's too hard!" Humanly speaking, possibly, but we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. On our own, it may be too hard, but with strength from above, we are not just survivors but more than conquerors.

God bless.

Broken Pieces

Well, these last few weeks I've been torn apart and heartbroken and now I'm just a bunch of broken pieces. It really hurts but then I realized, Hey, I'm at a place now that God can work with me and that's exciting. And an amazing work that He's doing! He's teaching me so much that I can hardly take it all in at once. I find that I can't just lean on Jesus but I need to completely throw myself on Him. He is good, merciful, and faithful even when I'm not.

Our youth held a free car wash for the community on Saturday and we found out that's a great way to shock people...an absolutely free car wash. We had rain on and off but I still managed to get a sunburn but it was good.

I know I'm not worthy of God's love but I praise and thank Him for it every day.

And I'll stand in awe of You,
Yes I'll stand in awe of You,
And I'll let my words be few-
Jesus I am so in love with You.
-Matt Redman

May this be our song each day. And if it isn't real in our life, then lets make it real. Glory be unto Jesus.

Humility and Obedience

So, you've all probably been wondering where I've been, but in all fairness I did warn you. I can't begin to explain what God has been doing in my life but He's definitely teaching me the power in a spirit of meekness and humility. I've made an utter fool out of myself on several occasions but that's alright. I'm also learning to walk in obedience to the Spirit's leading. I had the opportunity to witness to a few people yesterday when our youth was at the park which was interesting. It's really hard for me to just go up to a random person and share the Gospel with them but God gives the strength.

I have a Driver Ed exam today so any prayers would be more than greatly appreciated. And because I have to study, that's about all I'm going to say right now. God bless!

Turning...

Well, I was going to share something really exciting but God seems to be saying "No." Rather I need to reassess my priorities. I've known for awhile that it needs to be done but I waited until I heard it from someone else and then it hit hard. (Thanks Kade.) You see, I waste a lot of my time and it's mostly wasted on the computer. As a result, I'm not accomplishing anything nor am I productive in the work God has set before me. I've been very encouraged by blogging and reading all your blogs. I've been blessed and I've learned a lot but I'm not putting any of it to practice in my life. I'm a hypocrite, making myself look like somebody that I'm not, and my walk is far from my talk. So, I must apologize and ask for everyone's forgiveness.

Chances are, I'm not going to posting as frequently as I would like to for awhile. I hope to get a post in once a week as the Lord permits, but we'll see what happens. If the Spirit lays it on your heart, please do pray for me as I continue to pray for all of you.
And part of a song.
"Heal me
Heal these eyes
Heal this heart
Heal my mind
Breathe your breath of life
Heal me
Wake my soul
From this sleep
Give me back the joy
Of when I first believed
Heal me."
-Aaron Jeoffrey, Heal Me

Until next time, God bless you richly. Your all in prayers.
"Your actions are shouting so loud I can hardly hear what you're saying."

A Little Bit of Everything

So, I'm supposed to be leaving for China on Sunday. *gasps, What?!!!* That's a great reaction. But no, I had a dream this week that I was flying out to China this Sunday and I was going to be doing some work there for a month. Of course, everyone thought I was crazy. I had a dream last night that I broke my bottom retainer and I nearly did this morning. I accidentally tried putting it in upside down and bit down on it really hard. (Don't try that...I doesn't work.) But anyway, I feel like I'm at a point in my life where God has something big right in front of me, I just don't see it yet. I see myself out in the mission field someday, but not right now. I'm content doing what I do right now, and yet eager to move on. I was reading in Matthew this morning and I noticed that Joseph always stayed where He was until God showed him otherwise. He stayed with Mary and Jesus in Bethlehem until he was told to flee to Egypt, then Israel, and later they settled in Galilee. So I shall stay right where I am until God shows me otherwise.

Last night at gym night, some of us girls played soccer and was that ever an interesting affair. I hadn't played since the Wissmanns were at our church last year and it felt like we were just running around in circles until a couple of guys came in to help us. And just to clarify their error we are Lighthouse Gospel Church.

I read 1 Kings 10 awhile back and have gone back to it a few times, so I thought maybe it was time to post about it. But first, in chapter 3, God speaks to Solomon in a dream allowing him to ask for whatever he wants and he chooses wisdom. Then God says, read I Kings 3:11-14. Notice that God does not say I will give thee but rather "I have given thee." At this point I'm going to ignore that Solomon had 700 wives and princesses and 300 concubines because that just scares me, not to mention that they turned away his heart. Now, in chapter 10, the queen of Sheba comes to visit Solomon. She's heard all kinds of things about his wisdom and riches and can't believe it's true so she has to go see for herself. Then she says in verses 6 and 7:

"And she said to the king, It was a true report that I heard in mine own land of thy acts and of thy wisdom.
Howbeit I believed not the words, until I came, and mine eyes had seen it: and, behold, the half was not told me: thy wisdom and prosperity exceedeth the fame which I heard."

Can people say this about us and our character? Do we hold such a testimony that people don't believe others when they talk about us? Do they have to come to us and see for themselves and only find that we are much greater than of what they heard? I think you'll all agree that you are by no means that kind of person but you can strive to be. It may not be fame of riches and wisdom, but simply godly character and a heart that loves Jesus. I liked how in Do Hard Things, Alex and Brett talked about being known more for what you do do than for what you don't do. What kind of impression do others have of you?

Enough rambling for today...Seek Jesus and Him alone.

Do You Measure Up?

So, I just read Proverbs 31 again...the chapter I think all young women got to to see if they "measure up" and lets just say I have a long way to go. Guys, this post probably won't help you much but if I could say one thing, it would be raise your expectations. I can 99.9% guarantee you that the woman of your dreams won't be perfect and I know 100% that the man of mine won't be, but don't settle for just anything. But anyway, reading this chapter I came up with a few points.

A virtuous woman is:

• Precious; "her price is far above rubies"
• Honoured and can be trusted; "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her" and "strength and honour are her clothing"
• Works hard; "She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens...her candle goeth not out by night...She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness." and many verses in between.
• Strong; "She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms."
• Loving and wise; "She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy...She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."
  
• Loves God more than anything; "Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised."

In that, I could have given you the whole chapter but you can read it yourself. I could have gone into modesty as well but I didn't; read 1 and 2 Timothy or anything that talks about women or youth in general; study godly women of the Bible and in history. You might say, "Well, I'm only 16, I've a few years to go." But I would encourage you now to become that woman worth waiting for and remember that we are now the bride of Christ. We belong to Him now and that should make us strive for this all the more; to develop a meek and quiet spirit and to serve God with our whole hearts. I myself am only in the tiny baby steps toward what this chapter describes, but it is a work that is never done.

God bless each one of you as you continue to grow and seek His face.

The Lord is Good!

Well the Lord has been pruning, chastising, and pretty well cleaning up a lot of junk in my life. It's not easy but I praise God for the work He's doing in my life. I really don't know exactly how to describe it but I know that if I will seek God, I will find Him. He's opening and closing doors. . . Why I'm not really sure. Maybe He just wants to know whether I'm willing to be obedient. Just a few verses that I'm trying to apply to my life:

Proverbs 27:12
A prudent man forseeth the evil, and hideth himself, but the simple pass in, and are punished.

Proverbs 28:26
He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.

That's all I have for today but I hope to get another post in tomorrow.

"If You say go, we will go.
If You say wait, we will wait.
If You say step out on the water and they say it can't be done,
We'll fix our eyes on You and we will come."
From the song If You Say Go