What Did I Do?: Red Shoes!

I had an interesting week, although I kept my New Year's resolution a little more low-key. It will likely be that way for the next while, since I have a lot going on right now and it may be hard to get really adventurous in the midst of the busyness. But I will try to be creative where I can.

April 2: Has anyone else ever wondered what Throwback Thursday is all about, or was I the only one who hadn't exactly figured it out yet? I had a bit of an idea because the pictures I often saw on Facebook, but I now understand this social media trend a little more. I found out that "Throwback Thursday is the name of a weekly social media posting trend and hashtag game that users participate in to share and look back fondly on some of their favorite memories--hence the "throwback" theme. In this case, the "throwback" component of a post can pertain to basically anything that happened in the past." (webtrends.about.com) I thought about trying this, but that would mean digging out pictures from the 90s or something. Cute, but naw. At least not now anyway.

Thanks to Anne of Green Gables, I learnt that elocution is "the art of clear and expressive speech, esp. of distinct pronunciation and articulation" or "a particular style of speech." And I learned that "kerwollops" is not a word. While first at Queen's, Josie Pye talks about a French professor giving her the "kerwollops of the heart." An online search led me to believe the author made up the word, since I couldn't find it defined in any dictionary, and anything I found referenced to this instance in the book. But I think the context gives me a pretty good idea of what she meant. 

April 3: Good Friday was a good day, but I was a slacker. While having lunch, I look out across neighbouring yards to see turkeys and other fowl come through the neighbourhood. It really was a sight to behold! There were a number of white birds and I was trying to figure out what they were. Ducks, geese, swans? One was bigger than the rest, and my mom suggested it was a turkey as well. "There's such a thing as white turkeys?! I didn't know that!" Clearly, I do not know my birds. Indeed, turkeys do come in white, as well as dark colours. It reminded me of Staten Island days when I would be driving down the road closer to the beach and would have to stop and wait for the turkeys to cross the road. And listening to them gobble is so hilarious! It often takes only little things to make my day!

April 4: This past weekend, we had another hockey tournament at work, and these are usually accompanied by various vendors selling clothing, pictures, hockey memorabilia, knick-knacks and other items. There was one such vendor set up across from the concession, tables arrayed with lots and lots of leggings, in some very bright and bold styles! But there were certainly none like the leggings being sported by the half manikin standing behind him. And I got one of my CRAZY ideas! I mentioned it to my co-workers, who I fill in on some of the things I've been doing. At a quiet moment, I made my way casually to the table, explained my intent, got a pair of said leggings, and made my way for the bathroom. I would not come out of the bathroom wearing them, nor will I make my photo public. All I will say is that they were black, white, purple, fluorescent orange, lime green and bright yellow. Not only that, but these were the colours that made up a collage of various animal print patterns in diagonal stripes from top to bottom. I don't know how else to describe it. They were intense! This was my first time trying on them tight leggings that are so popular now.

However, I did feel like I owed the vendor for my experiment. I decided that I wouldn't mind having a pair for a few purposes, and realized that they could keep my legs nice and warm at the beach the next morning. So I did go back and buy a solid black pair. These were different. I don't intend to wear them on their own as pants, but upon trying them on at home, I understood why many girls do. They are way comfy! And part of the fun in doing stuff like this is having fun writing about it later. :)

April 5: This Easter Sunday, I got myself out of bed way early to attend my first Easter sunrise service on the beach with my church.

April 6: Again, thanks to Anne Shirley, I now know what a chaplet is. Sort of. I think. There are a few definitions for the word "chaplet." It can be "a wreath or garland for the head" or a string of beads, similar to a rosary, used for prayers, among a few other definitions. I think Anne was likely referring to a wreath, especially since she isn't Catholic. 

"But Anne, with her elbows on the window sill, her soft cheek laid against her clasped hands, and her eyes filled with visions, looked out unheedingly across the city roof and spire to that glorious dome of sunset sky and wove her dreams of a possible future from the golden tissue of youth's own optimism. All the Beyond was hers with its possibilities lurking rosily in the oncoming years--each year a rose of promise to be woven into an immortal chaplet." --Anne of Green Gables by L.M Montgomery

April 7: Sometimes you just need a pair of red shoes!

I'm not usually this bold, and although I liked the black ones, my first reaction to the red was "Ugh! No!" But I tried them on and went "Heeeeyy!" and thought of the numerous possibilities. So I bought them. I could have fun experimenting with these. I also tried a plain cappuccino at work. I liked that it wasn't as sweet as flavoured ones, but I do like other ones more I think.

April 8: I will talk about another book now. Aren't you all so relieved? I conveniently forgot to look up the words I was wondering about Tuesday night in The Edge of His Cloak by Kevin Abell. Kevin talks about a young man he met during his first year at university, whom he refers to as "the first person in my life I knew to be a 'Christian.'":

"Knowing what I know now about the faith, I often wonder what he would pray about when he knelt beside his bed at night. He should been praying for the hellions that shared his alcove. However, years later, I found out that he was primarily concerned with removing the log from his own eye." --The Edge of His Cloak by Kevin Abell

When I read the word "hellion", it didn't sound very good. And "alcove"? Well, that reminded me of "cove" and this wasn't talking about any water body or anything. So I figured it out today. A hellion is "a disorderly, troublesome, rowdy, or mischievous person." Hellions are also fictional characters in the Marvel comics. And "alcove" just referred to the space they were living in.

This book has been a blessing to me and continues to be to me. If you're interested, I would definitely recommend it.

What Did I Do?: Tears, Hormones, and Hair Treatment

It's been another rather low-key week, picking out small things I learned or did differently through the course of my days, although I've had some other thoughts brewing. I'm excited to be registered for the Justice Conference this year in Chicago! I'm looking forward to my mini summer vacation and hearing some awesome speakers and artists. That trip will make for a lot of new things to share.  But for now, what about last week? I've got one month down now!

January 29: I tried brushing my teeth with baking soda. I can be rather picky about my toothpaste when I can afford to be and like to avoid fluoride. Since I was out of good toothpaste, I thought I'd try an alternative I already had. Although I like the idea, it would be hard for me to always brush with baking soda. Aside from it being distasteful, I found it was harsh on my gums. I may keep trying it occasionally, or I'll just find good toothpaste again.

January 30: After a long day, I found this intriguing article again on Knowledge Nuts entitled "The Different Types of Tears".  That's right! There are different kinds of tears for the different things that make you cry! Emotional tears flush out stress hormones, while reflex tears caused by irritants contain antibodies. Tears also have an effect on hormones. The smell of a woman's tears reduces testosterone levels in men. This fact reminded me of the time years ago when I learned that the smell of a man's sweat affects a woman's hormones. Crazy stuff!

January 31: When you don't have a funnel at work, use a slushie cup lid! I can't take credit for this idea because it wasn't mine, but it definitely helped me get more mustard in the bottle, than down the sides, like my initial attempt.

February 1: Sunday morning in church, a footnote in my Bible grabbed my attention. It explained that when LORD was spelled in all capital letters in my Bible, it means YHWH. This was according to a footnote pertaining to Exodus 3:15. I have so often wondered why LORD was often capitalized and had speculations, but never actually knew what it meant. Now I know. I also did a little further research later on and found out that YHWH is the most holy name for God. Jews even hesitate to use it because it is so holy.

February 2: Monday morning, my swim class was cancelled due to a winter storm, and so I ventured to try my hair treatment. I've wanted to try this for years, but never had, and I recently picked up the Bulk Herb Store treatment mix from a local retailer. It's an herbal mix that is to be combined with vinegar or lemon juice, eggs, and olive oil or mayonnaise. It's supposed to repair damage, make hair soft and shiny, and bring out natural highlights. You can use vinegar for red highlights, or lemon juice for blonde highlights. Since I haven't cut my hair since June, it was seriously in need of some help. I naturally have curly, frizzy, crunchy hair that is hard to manage and make it look good, especially without styling products.

I like the idea of red highlights, and although I have a little dark red tinge in my hair, I wanted more. My plan was to do the treatment with apple cider vinegar, although I can't stand the smell of it. But I hadn't gotten to buying some, and I really wanted to try the treatment Monday. I had lots of lemon juice though and I resigned to the idea of going for blonde highlights. In the end, I just wasn't sure I was ready for that and I settled for just using white vinegar instead.

If you ever decide to do a treatment like this, I will warn you: IT STINKS!! The smell of the herbs and vinegar mixture is certainly not tantalizing and it looks like manure. I was on my own to get it in my hair and it was interesting to figure out just how to do that and get it evenly in there. Unfortunately I don't think I had the mixture hot enough, and it dried pretty fast. By the time I was done, I was reminded of a "Little House on the Prairie" episode of what Nellie and Laura looked like when they were done fighting in the mud. That was me. And there were crumbs of mud-like gunk all over the bathroom floor and vanity. I wrapped around plastic bags and a warm towel and waited about an hour before rinsing it out, after which I had to rinse dirt out of the shower. I waited several hours and shampooed it before going to work to get the olive oil out. The smell didn't come out after shampooing it, but by the next day I didn't notice it, much to my relief.

In the end, I didn't get the highlights I was hoping for, although I do have more red shine than I did before. My ends could still handle a trim. Most people wouldn't notice a difference, unless they have been secretly studying my awful hair.  However, it is now incredibly soft, which I love! That crunchy feeling is no more. I haven't tried leaving it down yet and let it dry without product, but I love how soft it is on its own. People may not notice that though, and I can't walk around asking everybody "Ya wanna feel my hair?!!" Well, I could. But that could be weird. I still have enough herb mix for a couple more treatments, so next time I think I'll try the lemon juice and see if I can go brighter.

February 3: I tried a new recipe again. Anyone notice how I really like to bake? This time it was Oatmeal Raisin muffins. They turned out well, but not as great as the ones I baked last week.

February 4: I learned that the goblin shark is the world's rarest shark, according to this Yahoo article. However, I don't believe all the claims they make about this rare deep-water shark.

And I'm embarking on reading the entire Anne of Green Gables series this year, and I started the first couple chapters Tuesday night. It turns out the fiery Anne Shirley has some good insight that's relevant to my goal this year.

"Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me glad to be alive--it's such an interesting world. It wouldn't be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There'd be no scope for imagination then, would there?" --Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery

Aristotle on Virtue

I've been studying a portion of Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics in The Great Books Reader.  The selection mainly focuses on virtue, and its meaning.  Here's a portion that stuck out to me.

"Both fear and confidence and appetite and anger and pity and in general pleasure and pain may be felt both too much and too little, and in both cases not well; but to feel them at the right times, with reference to the right objects, towards the right people, with the right motive, and in the right way, is what is both intermediate and best, and this is characteristic of virtue.  Similarly with regard to actions also there is excess, defect, and the intermediate.  Now virtue is concerned with passions and actions, in which excess is a form of failure, and so is defect, while the intermediate is praised and is a form of success; and being praised and being successful are both characteristics of virtue.  Therefore virtue is a kind of mean, since, as we have seen, it aims at what is intermediate."

He goes on to say this a little further:

"But not every action nor every passion admits of a mean; for some have names that already imply badness, e.g. spite, shamelessness, envy, and in the case of actions adultery, theft, murder; for all of these and suchlike things imply by their names that they are themselves bad, and not the excesses or deficiencies of them.  It is not possible, then, ever to be right with regard to them; one must always be wrong." --Both translated by W.D. Ross, 1908

I think Aristotle touched on something significant in these passages.  What do you think?  Is it right?  Is it Biblical?  Please share your thoughts.  Don't just be a passive reader.  Take time to think and let's generate some discussion.

Service = Greatness

"This is a great key to life: lose your life in service and you will become great.  Do what is right, even when it is difficult, especially when it is difficult.  Do not make the mistake of being a social climber.  Of course you will want to use your knowledge and skills and talents to do great things, but do them because they are right, because they are good, not because they make you look good." --Oliver DeMille, A Thomas Jefferson Education

Luke 22:24-27 (ESV)
"A dispute also arose among them, as to which of them was to be regarded as the greatest.  And he said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors.  But not so with you.  Rather, let the greatest among you become the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.  For who is greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves?  Is it not the one who reclines at table?  But I am among you as the one who serves." 

Jane Eyre: Turning the Bent of Nature

"It is hard work to control the working of inclination, and turn the bent of nature: but that it may be done, I know from experience. God has given us, in a measure, the power to make our own fate; and when out energies seem to demand a sustenance they cannot get--when our will strains after a path we may not follow--we need neither starve from inanition, nor stand still in despair: we have but to seek another nourishment for the mind, as strong as the forbidden food it longed to taste--and perhaps purer; and to hew out for the adventurous foot a road as direct and broad as the one Fortune has blocked up against us, if rougher than it." --St. John Rivers, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

For Such Moments as This

"I will keep the law given by God; sanctioned by man. I will hold to the principles received by me when I was sane, and not mad--as I am now. Laws and principles are not for times when there is no temptation: they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigour; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be. If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth? They have a worth--so I have always believed; and if I cannot believe it now, it is because I am insane--quite insane: with my veins running fire, and my heart beating faster than I can count its throbs. Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations, are all I have at this hour to stand by: there I plant my foot." --Jane Eyre (emphasis mine)

An Involuntary Confidant

"Know, that in the course of your future life you will often find yourself elected the involuntary confidant of your acquaintances' secrets: people will instinctively find out, as I have done, that it is not your forte to talk of yourself, but to listen while others talk about themselves; they will feel, too, that you listen with no malevolent scorn of their indiscretion but with a kind of innate sympathy; not the less comforting and encouraging because it is very unobtrusive in its manifestations." --Jane Eyre

Mr. Rochester says this to Jane in a conversation shortly after meeting. I loved this chapter. I learned so much about both characters and there's a lot of things to think about!

Jane Eyre: Discipline

I have now finally completed Volume 1 of Jane Eyre. This post will focus around Chapter 6, and I would encourage you to read it if you have the book. It contains one of my favourite and most thought-provoking conversations of the book so far. It's also an important continuation of my last post on authority.

In this chapter, we learn a bit more of Jane first friend she makes at Lowood, the school she's been sent to. Her name is Helen Burns, probably about four years older than Jane (making her 14) and her character is very different from Jane's. Whereas Jane is proud, bitter and resists authority, Helen is humble, willfully acknowledges her faults and submits herself authority and discipline.

Discipline is largely the issue discussed in this chapter. Early on, Helen is flogged with a bunch of twigs for her behaviour that her teacher, Miss Scatcherd dislikes. Jane believes that Helen should never submit herself to such harsh treatment. She believes it's cruel and would resist it. Helen disagrees. She believes the teacher is simply severe and dislikes her faults.

Helen says "it is weak and silly to say you cannot bear what it is your fate to be required to bear." Of course, Jane really has to wonder at her response and endurance and although she disagrees with her stance, she thinks the girl may be right. "Still I felt that Helen Burns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes. I suspected she might be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply: like Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season."

Although Helen is honest about her own faults, she will not say anything negative about Miss Scatcherd. She takes responsibility for her own actions. The discussion turns to another teacher, Miss Temple, who is loving, gently tells Helen her faults and showers her with praise. Although Jane thinks this approach is better, Helen says that it's not effective. It doesn't cure her faults and even her praise doesn't motivate her to be good. Although Jane thinks Helen is good with Miss Temple, she says she's good in a passive way. She makes no effort and doesn't believe there to be any merit in such goodness.

This comparison of discipline methods reminded me of parents and God. I'm not going to determine what kind of discipline is right or wrong here. I'm not the person to do that but I will say that discipline can easily turn to abuse, and I have a massive problem with that.

You see in this conversation a harsh method that uses the rod, and a gentle one that uses only a gentle tongue. In this story, it seems that the rod is definitely the more effective method, as the character admits. Although love and gentleness are good, they didn't produce the same results. They may have on the outside, but it didn't come from the heart.

When I read the Bible, I see these two sides of God. I see the one that chastens, pours out His wrath and drives merchants out of the temple with a whip. I also see the one that cares for His creation, loves, gives His Son's life for His children, and gathers little children into His arms. Parents can be the same way. A lot of parents emphasize one over the other. They discipline harshly or are all love and leniency. Both can result in problems and rebellion.

Also, Christians often over-emphasize one attribute of God. They preach a God of wrath who stands by to punish all who sin and cast them into hell, or on the flip-side, they preach a God who's all love and mercy so you can do whatever you want and He'll forgive you, always standing ready with big open arms. Both sides, when overdone, result in bad theology.

The conversation in the book continues and Jane maintains that when we are wronged, we must strike back or wicked people will always have their way. She believes they must be stopped by force and it's all as natural as loving someone who loves you. Helen however explains how Jesus taught us in the New Testament to love our enemies and bless those who curse us. She encourages Jane to read it and make Christ her example.

This is a new idea to Jane, as she's always been threatened with hell for her wrong deeds. Of course she believes it's impossible. Helen wonders at how Jane can describe Mrs. Reed's mistreatment with the finest details and tells Jane that she harbours no such feelings. "Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs." I might also add that few children will respond as Helen does. Not many will tolerate such harsh treatment. Helen continues in speaking of great things about Eternity and forgiveness that even I have a hard time understanding and the discussion ends there.

I think this post balances off my last one a little. I've also realized that by the end of the book, my initial ideas and opinions may change. As the plot develops, characters grow and change, as we see Jane beginning to in this chapter with the help of a friend. Up until this point, the book was a little dreary and depressing, even if very engaging. By the end of this chapter, my heart felt refreshed!

Stirring Up Inspiration

I'm feeling inspired. No, I'm not on the brink of doing some sort of huge crazy thing. It's not like that. I don't know how to describe it or if "inspired" is even the word for it.

What I do know is that I'm being awakened to the idea of how much I'm actually capable of. I've found myself coming up with great ideas (in my opinion) in the oddest of times and places. Okay, so it really hasn't happened that often but I still think it's great. Normally I stress over not having anything to write about, but lately I've gotten frustrated over not having time to write stuff down. Actually, truth be told, after I'm done this, my ideas are gone.

Back to my point. I think we often underestimate ourselves. I don't think we realize our full potential. Thomas Edison once said, "If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." I find that I often fail to use my God-given imagination and creativity. Sometimes I think I don't have any. Is it possible though that we all have something great within us that just needs to be discovered and cultivated? Is it possible that we could do so much more with our lives if we started to believe we could?

I was recently reminded of a quote I heard in a movie a few years ago that inspired me and I wrote down. It wasn't until now that I actually discovered who it was by and that there was actually more to it and I'd like to share it here. It comes from Marianne Williamson's book A Return to Love. Please note, I have not read the book, so I'm not endorsing it or anything. To be honest, I can't say I entirely agree with the quote. I did find it inspiring though and thought there was a good deal of truth in it. So there's my disclaimer.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were made to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people the permission to do the same. And as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." --Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

I think all of us deal with feelings of inadequacy at some point in our lives. We wonder if we're good enough. We're convinced somebody else could do it better. We hold back and never put as much as we could into things for fear of failure. Is it possible though, that we fear excellence because we don't think we're worthy of it?

Even as I'm writing this, I'm cringing. Maybe some of my readers didn't even make it this far. I'm sorting out my thoughts as I go, and to be honest, I don't know if anything I'm writing is even right. Sometimes things just spill out of nowhere and I have no idea where those thoughts and ideas come from. Maybe some Christians are reading this and praying I'll one day see the light and come to the knowledge of the truth. I'm taking that risk. I think people would really grow as individuals if they learned to do this. Sometimes you have to ask questions, you have to wonder about the possibilities, you have to speculate.

You're not going to impact the world by thinking about it. Your ideas, as great as they may be do no good inside your head. It's all useless there. It's once you get it out, speak it, write it, sing it, whatever, that it takes on power. But that's exactly the part that so many people are afraid of. They're afraid to be wrong. They wouldn't be the first one. They're afraid that others may not agree or appreciate what they have to say. Guess what? They don't have to! They're afraid nobody will listen, it won't do anything, it won't make a difference. But what if it does? And so we sit around with endless power locked up inside of us and never do anything.

It seems to me that it comes back to influence. We are all in possession of a circle of influence. We can't avoid that. What we do with it is up to us. We can use it for good or bad, to build up the people around us or tear them down. We can use it to lead others to the Lord or drive them away.

People are watching you. You're always communicating something, even if you never say a word. But you do have power over what you communicate. You can decide whether you will share your thoughts and ideas with other people or keep them to yourself. Just remember, people rarely make a positive difference by remaining silent.

Are You One of the Few?

Over the last few weeks, I read A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael by Elisabeth Elliot. Amy Carmichael, lovingly known as Amma to those close to her, was a remarkable woman. It took Elisabeth Elliot near 400 pages to put her life into words so this short post will hardly do her justice, but I will try my best.

To describe or write a review on this book, I must describe Amy herself. She was born on December 16, 1867 and grew up in Ireland where she was raised in a Christian home. Even as a child, she was a girl of courage and bravery, qualities that would prove to be very beneficial in her future work. She also possessed the heart of a servant.

Her missionary work began in Ireland, primarily in Belfast, where she devoted herself to helping and ministering to the people around her, especially the lowest members of society. It also took her to Japan, Ceylon, and eventually to India. In India, her initial intention seems to have been to simply spread the Gospel. However, she soon found herself rescuing children from temples where they were raised to live lives of immorality and she established the Dohnavur Fellowship.

In the Fellowship, the children were raised, educated, taught to love and serve the Lord and Amy was, of course, their Amma (Mother). Over the years, the work grew and Dohnavur also came to include a House of Prayer and hospital, or Place of Healing, as it was called. The work of the Fellowship still continues today and is run primarily by the people of India, many of who came to Dohnavur as infants.

If Amma had to be described in one word, it would be love. Love was at the core of all that she did. Next to that there were many qualities that she valued and her life clearly displayed. Among these were loyalty, unity, commitment and service. Indeed, everyone was a servant.

Commitment was very important to her. Commitment to the work, children, workers and above all, to God was absolutely necessary for anyone who wanted to be a part of the work at Dohnavur. They had to be prepared to live for the Lord and pour themselves out in service to Him no matter what the cost.

Amy was a woman who experienced intimate communion with God and embraced the beauty of God's creation. This is best revealed in her poetry, lines filled with the beauty, wonder, and majesty of God. Everything was taken to Him in prayer and every step she made was taken in faith.

In 1931, Amy had an accident which confined her mostly to her bedroom for the rest of her life, years that were marked by much illness and pain. Even so, she kept on working, leading and directing. She maintained a personal relationship with each of the workers and children, always writing notes and letter to individuals and spending time with them. This is also when she wrote many of her books.

After almost 20 years of illness and pain, Amma went to be the Lord on January 18, 1951. Her body was humbly laid to rest in the Garden of God with a simple bird bath to mark the place of her burial. Her desire was that people would see it and look to God instead of her.

Although I'm well aware this brief summary does not do her life justice and I left many details out, I fear that many more words would still fail to adequately describe this woman of faith. I would encourage you to read this book for yourself, or better yet, some of Amy's personal works. I hope that you are also blessed, encouraged, and challenged to a deeper relationship with God and to pour out your life in service to Him.

1 Corinthians 3:12,13
Now if any man builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw--
each one's work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test which sort of work each one has done.

I like what Elisabth Elliot said in one part of the book:
"The preoccupations of seventeen-year-old girls--their looks, their clothes, their social life--do not change much from generation to generation. But in every generation there seem to be a few who make other choices. Amy was one of the few."

Are you one of the few?

If It Can't Be Done, Then Do It

Last night I was speaking to my youth leader about what my next plans are. The fact that I had finished school through correspondence also came up. He mentioned that it was good to see somebody stay committed to it and actually finish, because many people that start don't. When I started, many people questioned whether or not I would really follow through with it. They pointed out that many people they knew started and didn't finish and some just really didn't think I would either. This really frustrated me. I didn't like having my commitment doubted and I was determined to do it and prove them all wrong. My youth leader asked if there had been pride in that, and to be honest, I had never given that a thought there. Maybe there was some pride involved, but that's not what I'm going to talk about.

When I thought about that later on I came to the realization that people need to do what I did more often. Prove people wrong. Often people come up with these great, brilliant, wonderful ideas that would be of so much good, until they tell someone else. Of course they're excited and want to tell somebody and rally some support, but instead, they get a response something like this: “Are you sure that's such a good idea? You aren't exactly qualified, don't have the resources, support, and would it really make that big of a difference? I mean, what if it doesn't work out in the end? You would have wasted all that time, energy, effort, resources, and good talent that could have been better used elsewhere.” And the person responds something like this, with a bit of a discouraged sigh: “Yeah, I guess you're right. If you think about it, it is quite risky and there's a lot to lose. And if I failed, I would just look like a total loser. I'll just forget about it.”

I think this is pretty common. Chances are, most brilliant ideas don't even make it into the world for fear of rejection. Can you relate to this in your own life? The truth is, we weren't meant to give up on ideas or settle for it-probably-won't-work-out-anyways. As Christians we are meant to step up, fight, and conquer, to live a victorious life and do great things for God. This is the Rebelutionary life.

Maybe that some brilliant idea that you have does look, according to all reason impossible. That's why we serve a great God who delights in doing the impossible and coming through for us, ensuring that all the glory goes to Him. If you look into the Bible, we see God constantly doing the impossible. He parted the Red Sea, defying the law of gravity. The virgin Mary conceived the Lord Jesus, which is physically impossible. Jesus fed 5 000+ people with five loaves of bread and two fish, which goes against all human reason. We have a God who delights in doing these things. And if we are called to be like Jesus, then we must do so as well.

Now, I don't want to throw away the issue of godly counsel, because it's often very important. There may very well be cases where God uses individuals to tell you something is not such a good idea and I don't want to make that void. But all too often, I think we could do a lot more great things in life and for God if we really just aside the can't-do-it attitude and just did it. And when it's done, give God the glory. I wouldn't have been able to finish school on my own. I relied heavily on God's strength and grace and devoted much prayer time to the matter. But I put forth my best, and praise God for what He did.

Music artist Jason Gray once shared a story of a time when he was discouraged and ready to give up. He called up a friend hoping for some sympathy, but instead, he told him the truth. He said “Jason, if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, then you're on the Lord's side. And if you're on His side, then you're on the side that's gonna win. And if you're on the side that's gonna win, when exactly do you think is a good time to give up?”

If it looks too hard, then do it. If it can't be done, then do it. If it's impossible, then do it. Do hard things. Be a Rebelutionary and give all praise and honour to God.

A Christmas Carol: Parts 3-5

Part 3:
"His wealth is of no use to him. He don't do any good with it."

This, I believe, is a good piece of wisdom. Unless we use to our wealth, possessions, talents, skills and abilities that God has entrusted to us for good, they are of no use to us.

"They are Man's," said the Spirit, looking down upon them. "And they cling to me, appealing from their fathers. This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased."

Part 4:
"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year."

Part 5:
If everybody was like Scrooge was that Christmas Day, we would live in one happy world!

A Christmas Carol: Part 1

Now that I've finished school, I've been wanting to take more time to catch up on some reading, and also read some of the classics. With the upcoming holidays, I decided I ought to read A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. After finishing the first part this afternoon, I realized there were many insightful things in there to think about, and decided to start a short blog series on each of the five parts. So, this is Part 1.

In the first part of the book, which takes place on Christmas Eve, you get the idea or basis of the story. You meet Ebenezer Scrooge and learn that he's a grouchy man that has little compassion and cares only for making money. Much of his time is spent at his firm. And he certainly does not like Christmas. He's constantly upset by the cheery greetings, people asking him to give, his nephew inviting him to Christmas dinner, and he's even reluctant to give his clerk the holiday off. You also learn that his business partner, Jacob Marley, died seven years ago, on Christmas Eve.

Later that evening, he is visited by Marley's Ghost. For awhile, he denies the reality of the apparition, but soon has to admit it to be true. You see, Marley's Ghost is quite the sight, and definitely not the most welcome one, especially due to the chain attached to him:

It was long, and wound about him like a tail; and it was made (for Scrooge observed it closely) of cash-boxes, keys, padlocks, ledgers, deeds, and heavy purses wrought in steel.

When Scrooge asks about the chain, this is what Marley says:

“I wear the chain I forged in life,” replied the Ghost. “I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on my own free will, and on my own free will I wore it. Is it's pattern strange to you?”

Scrooge trembled more and more.

“Or would you know,” pursued the Ghost, “the weight and length of the strong coil you bear yourself? It was full as heavy and as long as this, seven Christmas Eves ago. You have laboured on it, since. It is a ponderous chain!”

All of Marley's life, he was building his chain. He shows Scrooge that he's doing the same thing, only he's been working on it for seven more years. Chains of selfishness, greed, and money-making. I think here's an appropriate place to ask ourselves some questions. Are we building ourselves a chain? What is binding us and dragging us down? Is it selfishness, greed, an unforgiving spirit, harsh words, or bitterness? Or is it other sin that we indulge in, whether it be ungodly entertainment, lust, or whatever? If you examine your life, I think you'll be able to see what's building your chain, binding you, and dragging you down.

Thankfully, we are not required to live in chains and that we have a God that sets us free. May we repent in humility and ask God to loose us from whatever binds us and keeps us from living the life of freedom that He desires for us. At one point, the ghost says, “No rest, no peace. Incessant torture of remorse.” I, for one, do not want to come to the end of my life only to be tortured with the regret and remorse of the wrong choices and paths of my life. Although God does set us free and grant us His loving mercy and forgiveness, we do still bear the consequences of our actions. I surely want to keep them at a minimum.

The next thing Marley brings out is an idea I thought to be wise words, which, if applied, would make an enormous difference upon our lives:

“Any Christian spirit working kindly in its little sphere, whatever it may be, will find its mortal life too short for its vast means of usefulness. Not to know that no space of regret can make amends for one life's opportunity misused! Yet such was I! Oh! such was I!”

“But you were always a good man of business, Jacob,” faltered Scrooge, who now began to apply this to himself.

“Business!” cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. “Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”

It held up its chain at arms length, as if that were the cause of all its unavailing grief, and flung it heavily upon the ground again.

Oh, so much is said in this passage! It's so true that this life is far too short to accomplish all we can do and no regrets later on will ever make up for the opportunities we missed. I must look at my own life. I'm far too content to do those things around me that require my attention and I'm far too concerned that I get adequate leisure time. This is not the way we're supposed to live!! There is so much more if we'll only grab onto it. And yes, you may have a good job or career and do what you do well, but if the good of others is not what you give yourself to, it amounts to but a drop in the vast ocean.

The truth is, when this life is over, we have no second chance. When we die, that's it. We cannot go back, do anything differently, take back any words or actions, and can't add anything to the meagre list of things we have accomplished. We must come before God as we are and with what we have, and I must say I would but hang my head in shame, unable to look up at my Lord, unable to speak or give an account for my life, as the Bible says we must do. And most of all, I fear that I will walk away from writing this and triumph over my insightful thoughts, or you will walk away from reading this and think how good it was, and nothing will change. I fail in this so often. I'm fed so much and am often so inspired, so challenged, but very seldom changed. "The question isn't were you challenged; the question is were you changed?" (Leonard Ravenhill)

I hope to get Part 2 up later this week and have this series finished by Christmas Day. May God's blessing be upon each and every one of you.

Are You Satisfied?

Are you satisfied with your life? Are you content with what you have? Are all the blessings and gifts God has given you enough? As I have been reading John Piper's book Desiring God, I have been forced to ask myself these questions. He shared something by C. S. Lewis under a section titled "We Are Far Too Easily Pleased" while speaking on the matter of worship. In a sense, in that statement he's saying, "You are settling for too little; what you have is not enough; how can you be satisfied and content with what you have?" Doesn't that sound horribly selfish, unthankful, unholy, ungodly, and unrighteous? At first glance, yes, it does. But as I read this portion, I was inspired but what he had to say and I felt the longing to share it.

"If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that the Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
--C. S. Lewis

In response to this, here is what Piper says:

"That's it! The enemy of worship is not that our desire for pleasure is too strong, but too weak! We have settled for a home, a family, a few friends, a job, a televison, a microwave oven, an occasional night out, a yearly vacation, and perhaps a new personal computer. We have accustomed ourselves to such meager, short-lived pleasures that our capacity for joy has shriveled. And so our worship has shriveled. Many can scarcely imagine what is meant by "a holiday at the sea"--worshipping the living God!"
--John Piper, Desiring God

What I hear Lewis and Piper saying here is that man is content with the pleasures this world has to offer that only provide temporary satisfaction and fail to delight in God at whose right hand are pleasures evermore. We fail to delight ourselves in the Lord--which we are commanded to do--and rather seek the things in this world that will all be gone when we die.

Do you long and thirst after the living God? Is your treasure found in Him? Has He captivated your heart that you just can't get enough of what He has to offer? Is He your desire and delight, the source of your joy? Or are you still shopping around for the next new thing, trying to find fulfillment in the newest gadget, keeping up with the latest fashions, a relationship, having the perfect body, and all other things that satisfy temporarily and only leave you feeling empty and discontent again?

The truth is, there is so much more to be had, and that we can claim it. God offers us Himself, and He alone can fully satisfy our longings and desires.

All That Really Matters

I know that my blogging was really weak last month, and I'm not intending to make any promises for this year, as I know it will be busy enough.

This week, I started reading John Piper's book Don't Waste Your Life. I believe that I'm in a very fitting time in my life to read this book and a few passages have particularly caught my attention. Not only is it a new year, but a time in my life where I have many trials ahead of me, where I trust God will show Himself strong and I will learn to love Him more.

You don't have to know a lot of things for your life to make a lasting difference in the world. But you do have to know the few great things that matter, perhaps just one, and then be willing to live for them and die for them. The people that make a durable difference in the world are not the people who have mastered many things, but who have been mastered by one great thing. If you want your life to count, if you want the ripple effect of the pebbles you drop to become waves that reach the ends of the earth and roll on into eternity, you don't need to have a high IQ. You don't have to have good looks or riches or come from a fine family or a fine school. Instead you have to know a few great, majestic, unchanging, obvious, simple, glorious things--and one great all-embracing thing--and be set on fire by them.
--John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life (emphasis in passage mine)

In the end, all that will really matter, is do we know God and does He know us. This is what it will all come down to: Do you know Jesus and does He know you? That second part is as important as the first. No Ph.D, no houses, land, or other accumulated possessions will matter. I like how Jim Cowan says it in his song When It's All Been Said and Done:

When it's all been said and done
There is just one thing that matters
Did I do my best to live for truth
Did I live my life for You
When it's all been said and done
All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I've done for love's Reward
Will stand the test of time

This year, I long to live for Christ and Him alone, because knowing Him is all that matters. No matter what I accomplish here on earth, unless I know Him and live to love and glorify Him, I have nothing but wasted my life.

John 17:3
And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.

Knowing God is eternal life!

And thus a cross-centered, cross-exalting, cross-saturated life is a God-glorifying life--the only God-glorifying life. All others are wasted.
--John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life

May we remember these words this coming year.

Letting Go

Last night, I came home tired, but not too tired. I was more than ready to shower, settle down in my pajamas under my blankets with a hot cup of rooibos tea and focus on God. These last few days have been hard and wonderful at the same time. I'm learning to let go and be broken. Some of you may know what that feels like.

I was reading yesterday in Ezekiel and a little part of a verse stuck out to me. It wasn't particularly in the context it was in, but it still spoke to me nonetheless: Behold, when it was whole, it was meet for no work. So from this, I know that until I am cut down and broken, I am of no use. I think also of the seed. Unless it falls into the ground and dies, it abideth alone. But once it dies, then it begins to grow.

Matthew 13: 45, 46
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls:
Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.

Jesus is that pearl of great price. He costs us everything, but He is more than worth the price. I want my life to reflect these verses. I want to like Mary, choose that good part, which will not be taken away from me. (See Luke 10: 41,42) People can take so much away from us: our house, car, possessions, jobs, family, friends, food, clothing, but they cannot take Jesus away from us. While we only have things here for a time, we always have Jesus.

Like Jim Elliot, I want to give up what I cannot keep to gain that which I cannot lose. Why would I hold on to something now, when I can see that one day, it will be taken away from me, with much pain. Why not just let go now, and gain so much more.

I find myself repeating the words of the song Cry for Humility by Christ our Life:

I will worship in Spirit and in Truth
Teach me discipline, to meditate on You
You gave up Your life, I must give my all to You
Remove the veil so I can see

God bless you all and have a wonderful week.

Feet Upon a Rock

Okay, this is humbling to say after my cheery post on Tuesday, but I had a really hard day yesterday. And it didn't help that there are so many things I can't understand, including myself. The Lord's chastisement really hurts, but it's all the proof I need that He loves me. In the evening, during my prayer time, I felt a calm come over me, much different than some of the frustrations of my day. I almost couldn't understand it. Then I remembered a few lines from a hymn:

In seasons of distress and grief,
My soul has often found relief,
And oft escape the tempter's snare,
By thy return, sweet hour of prayer.
--Sweet Hour of Prayer, William W. Walford, 1842

How often do we really flee to that safe retreat before our Father's throne? I, sooner seem to struggle along out of my own strength, wondering why I can't get anything right. That's because, in my own strength, I can't get anything right. In me dwells no good thing, but in Christ, I can be made perfect. I must empty myself and call on the Lord to be filled.

I am also thankful for God's mercy and forgiveness. As Jeremiah 31:34 says "...I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more." "He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings." (Psalm 40:2)

"By trying to grab fulfillment everywhere, we find it nowhere."
--Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity

A Different Kind of Woman

We are creatures of a great master Designer, and His ordering of our lives is sure and certain, yet many people live without any visible order or peace or serenity. The way we live ought to manifest the truth of what we believe. A messy life speaks of a messy--an incoherent--faith...
The way you keep your house, the way you organize your time, the care you take in your personal appearance, things you spend your money on all speak loudly about what you believe. "The beauty of Thy peace" shines forth in an ordered life. A disordered life speaks loudly of disorder in the soul.
-Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be a Woman

Let's face it. People watch us. They watch us, they look at our lives, and they make note of the various things we do or don't do. When I read these notes on orderliness and self-discipline, I really have to think, What does my life look like? Often, it probably looks like a complete mess. But as Christians, we are called to adorn the Gospel, and make it look attractive. If we go aimlessly through life with no real purpose, we do the exact opposite. But if you look simply how people go about their day, how they handle various situations, it speaks volumes about their character. If I'm having a crazy hectic day, it's usually because there's unrest inside of me, because what's inside comes out.

Later on in Let Me Be a Woman, Elisabeth Elliot says something else that I feel goes hand in hand with this matter:

We are called to be woman. The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I'm a Christian does make me a different kind of woman. For I have accepted God's idea of me, and my whole life is an offering back to Him of all that He wants me to be.

I think I won't go any further into this, but I would encourage you young ladies, if you can get a hold of this book, don't miss the opportunity to read it.

Where's Our Place?

I'm currently reading Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot and I'm looking forward to share some excerpts that really stick out to me. This is one of the first parts that really caught my attention:

Women during the past decade have contrived to place themselves very much in the center of attention. They are talked about, puzzled about, argued about, and legislated about, and it is women who have done most of the talking, arguing, and perhaps the legislating, while it is men, I suppose, who have done more of the puzzling. A torrent of books about women has been pouring from the presses urging women to cast off traditional roles, to refuse the socialization that has for many centuries, they say, controlled and confined them, and to move into what some of them called "human" (as distinct from biological or reproductive) pursuits, which, whether they are interesting and uninteresting are said to be male territory.

My question is why is it that women cannot seem to accept, no, rather appreciate and love, who God has created them to be? We live in an age of feminism, where unless you, women, go to college or university and pursue a respectable career, are considered unsuccessful. It seems that being a housewife and raising children is of little value anymore. Many women get negative reactions when they speak of staying at home and homeschooling their children. They get remarks like "You're never going to make ends meet on a single income," or "How will your children ever learn to socialize?"

In this, I'm not discouraging obtaining a post-secondary education and pursuing a career, if that's what God calls you to do. But I feel we have lost sight of who God has created women to be. He has created us for a very special purpose that many seem to look down on. Women don't like the idea of being a weaker vessel, created under men, but God made us because it was not good for man to be alone. He saw that man needed someone and that someone was a woman. He indeed has a special place and purpose for us.

We don't need to step and try to prove ourselves. God has created me a woman, so that's exactly what I want to be. I don't want to try and make myself somebody I'm not, wearing a mask, living a life that's not my own. Let us not strive after this world's idea of success but rather who God has created us to be.

Please feel free to share any thoughts on this or throw in your two cents. God bless you!

Ye Shall Not Need to Fight

The Lord has been good to me once again. Last week our church hosted the School of Revival and Prayer and God did a mighty work, in my life and the lives of many others. It was absolutely incredible beyond words. He did a mighty work in my life, sweeping out sin in my life as I surrendered many things into His hands. There was something in my life that I didn't know how it was going to work out but I knew that God could do it and wanted to do it. Saturday morning, He confirmed many things through His Word in just a few verses:

2 Chronicles 20:15,17
...Thus saith the LORD unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God's.
Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the LORD with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; to morrow go out against them: for the LORD will be with you.

I had read these verses before and heard them countless times, but they didn't speak to me like the way they did now. Then I saw God do some amazing things. He showed me something I had known for a long time but I just hadn't seen at this time. Had I seen it a few weeks ago, I would not have gone through the deep struggle I did last week, but then God wouldn't have been able to teach me anything and my love for Christ would not have increased the way it has. I praise Him for his love and mercy.

I know I've shared this quote in another post but I would like to say it again:

"Great faith is the product of great fights. Great testimonies are the outcome of great tests. Great triumphs can only come out of great trials."
-Smith Wigglesworth

Finally, sorry for my lack of posting this month. I'll try to get another one in later on this week. We'll see how the Lord leads. God bless.