Okay, this is humbling to say after my cheery post on Tuesday, but I had a really hard day yesterday. And it didn't help that there are so many things I can't understand, including myself. The Lord's chastisement really hurts, but it's all the proof I need that He loves me. In the evening, during my prayer time, I felt a calm come over me, much different than some of the frustrations of my day. I almost couldn't understand it. Then I remembered a few lines from a hymn:
In seasons of distress and grief,
My soul has often found relief,
And oft escape the tempter's snare,
By thy return, sweet hour of prayer.
--Sweet Hour of Prayer, William W. Walford, 1842
How often do we really flee to that safe retreat before our Father's throne? I, sooner seem to struggle along out of my own strength, wondering why I can't get anything right. That's because, in my own strength, I can't get anything right. In me dwells no good thing, but in Christ, I can be made perfect. I must empty myself and call on the Lord to be filled.
I am also thankful for God's mercy and forgiveness. As Jeremiah 31:34 says "...I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more." "He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings." (Psalm 40:2)
"By trying to grab fulfillment everywhere, we find it nowhere."
--Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity