What Did I Expect?

Every New Year's, our church gathers for a time of celebrating, a slideshow of the year's events, and sharing of what God has done in the past year.  At the end of the service, we all have the opportunity to pick up what we call a promise verse, something for us to hold on to for the coming year.  With anticipation, I walk up to the front, look at all the little pieces of paper face down on the little table, and randomly choose one, wondering what kind of promise or fate will be revealed.  It's almost like breaking open a fortune cookie, except I can't endorse putting a lot of weight in the little paper inside.  Can I just eat the cookie?

Anyway, this past New Year's, as I picked up my promise verse and read it, I wasn't exactly filled with joy.  It was more like fear.  If I was going to hold onto this promise throughout the year, it meant I would be encountering some difficulty.

Hebrews 13:5 (ESV)
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

You see, I didn't know at the time that I would be writing my resignation a few weeks later and spend most of my year unemployed.  I had no idea how much I would have to be content with what I had, and lean on God's faithfulness and promise to take care of me.  I also had no idea what kind of opportunities would follow my decision to stop working.

It was in March that a man who has had a big impact in my life suggested I consider missions.  Although I was content to take a bit of a break from work, I hadn't considered missions a great deal.  I always wanted to go on a missions trip while I was still single, but I didn't think of that necessarily being the time.  I knew I wanted to go to Haiti and I looked into whether or not that was still a possibility.  I further prayed that if the Lord wanted me to do missions, to make me aware of opportunities.  It was only days later that I heard on the radio about a need for volunteers in New York City to help with Hurricane Sandy relief and I began to plan for a one week trip.

This year, I have made five different trips, three of which were to Staten Island.  In those first few months of traveling, one of the questions I got asked often was  "How are you paying for all of this?"  To be honest, I only paid one trip completely out of my pocket.  For the others, many or all of my expenses were covered otherwise.  I have had opportunities this year that I never would have dreamed of when I picked up that promise verse.

When I came home from my last term in NY, I knew I had some responsibilities to tend to, and more than that, I needed to find work.  I didn't think I was that naive about the labour market in my area, but I must say that it has taken a lot longer than I expected.  I would be lying to say that I have always remained joyful through this effort.  I would be lying to say that I always had unshaking confidence that God would answer my prayers in the way I wanted.  And employment was not the only issue I was seeking the Lord about.  There have been a lot of other things going on in my mind and heart that I was trying to understand the Lord's will in.  There were times I said to myself or friends "My life makes no sense!"  And there were times I would kneel and come before the throne and just say "Lord, I don't understand."

To be honest, there were times when I briefly thought "Maybe my last term in NY wasn't such a good idea."  But I always crushed that idea pretty quick.  Last night I had the privilege of reconnecting with some fellow volunteers, meeting new ones, sharing memories, laughter, and tears.  You see, I recognize that despite the uncertainty of my life right now, I would not take back the last 7 months.  I would not go back and choose a different path.  I know how incredibly blessed I have been to be able to do what I have done.  I would not trade the experiences of this year for financial ease.  They have been worth the uncertainty of life.

I think part of the problem of what I experienced coming home is that I had this proud and unscriptural expectation that, since I spent so much of my time this year serving, God would bless me with a great job soon after I came home.  I had gained all this great experience and honed some leadership qualities.  Surely some great employer would see what I had to offer and hire me in an instant!  Not so.  And God does not owe me anything.  In truth, He gave me a lot more than I could have asked for.

I have come to an incredible realization recently.  It's a very obvious one at that.  You may even wonder just how thick-headed I am.  Here it is.  Free time and money rarely coexist in abundance, at least not for a long period of time.  You see, when you work, you are able to accumulate resources, but are limited as to what you can do with your time.  When you stop working, you have a lot of time, but your resources dictate where you go and what you do.  I recognize that this experience is not unique to my life, but is that of most of this world's population.

Obvious, it seems, but I have begun to understand this phenomenon and the frustrations related to it firsthand in a new way, as I have had a great deal of time, but a limited supply of resources at my disposal.  I am so grateful though, that I have learned to be disciplined in the way I manage finances, have been adamant about not making debt, and am usually not inclined to have a lot of stuff or the latest gadgets.

I have wrestled with a lot of different emotions through this.  There have been days I've been so frustrated that I don't have meaningful ways to use my time, and I have to remind myself there are things I can do now, that I won't be able to do later.  There are days I don't understand what the Lord's purpose is in this, but then I remember that I have gained a greater understanding of Who He is, and the love that He desires for me to have for Him.  I don't fail to see the times He provides in little ways.  And (although I admit there have been times where I have not felt positively about the way some people tried to encourage me) I have been grateful for the people--friends, mentors, past volunteers--who have lifted me up, prayed for me, and helped in other ways.

So what did I expect this year?  Two months ago?  Not this. Not all the amazing experiences, nor the not-so-amazing challenges.  But I know I serve One Who is called Faithful and True, One Who calls me His beloved, One Who promised never to leave me nor forsake me.  And I know I'm blessed.

"God will give you the very blessings you ask if you refuse to go any further without them, but His silence is the sign that He is bringing you to an even more wonderful understanding of Himself." --Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

What Makes God Faithful?

This year has been full of joys and challenges.  The future remains unknown.  But I am so thankful for what this year has taught me about the faithfulness of God.  I know God is faithful.  It's not because I have seen Him move great mountains in my life, although He may do that at times.  He's faithful because He is.  He is Faithful.  He is called Faithful and True (Revelation 19:11).  He is Faithful and therefore He will not abandon me or be unfaithful, no matter where I end up.

2 Timothy 2:11-13 (ESV):
The saying is trustworthy, for:
If we have died with him, we will also live with him;
if we endure, we will also reign with him;
if we deny him, he also will deny us;
if we are faithless, he remains faithful--
for he cannot deny himself.

I don't completely understand this passage of scripture, but I am thankful for it.  I don't have to understand it to believe it.  But knowing that God is Faithful helps me understand it.  If He calls Himself Faithful and True, if that's his very name, to be unfaithful would be to deny Who He is.

So what makes God faithful?  The fact that He is Faithful.  No other reason is needed.

How Can I Give....?

I've been searching my brain all week for something to write about, but I feel like I'm coming up empty.  It's not necessarily that I don't have ideas, but they all seem incomplete, it's not the right time, or I'm not sure how to make them work.  I've been mulling over my year end post, like I have down for the past few years, but I have to wait a few weeks to share it.  With other ideas, I just don't know how to bring across what I'm want.

If this blog is ever a disappointment to you, I'm sorry.  I really am.  But I don't want to put out pointless content for the sake of there being something new here for you.  There's enough writers with nothing to say and I don't want to add to the number.  I truly want to offer insight here that would uplift and inspire people, and if I'm not doing that, I don't want to be writing.

I started on a new journey of sorts a couple months ago.  Before this point, I often felt like I didn't have anything to offer, like I had nothing to give, like I didn't make a difference.  It took me walking through a process with a mentor of sorts to see that I did have a difference to make.  But there was still a question pressing on my heart that I had to put before him: "How can I give what I don't have?"  Yes, I recognized I had a difference to make (I do even more now), but I felt like it wasn't real in my own life.  How could I inspire other people to have vision, when my life was directionless, when I wasn't even sure I had one?

He helped me get past that, and many other things and I can't begin to describe in a few words how exciting this journey has been for me.  But it doesn't fix things.  Yes, God has blessed me with wonderful people to help guide me in a very uncertain time in my life, but there's still a lot to work through.  I honestly can't see past this year.  I have most of this next month here planned out, but as soon as 2012 hits, I am almost clueless as to what I will have ahead of me. I know I want to reach people through my writing, but sometimes, I just don't know how to do it.  I don't know what to share with readers.

About a week ago, I told a friend something like "God won't expect you give what you don't have.  He will fill you."  Today I have to remind myself of that.  I have been seeking God in many things recently, and my writing is one of them.  I believe He has shown me in part what He has in mind for me in this area, and it's much bigger than my own ideas.  But then I feel empty. I hit a phase of writer's block, and it doesn't seem possible.  I look at my life, and it seems like something that will never fly.  Ever.

As I was thinking about this, I was reminded of a lesson by a former Sunday school teacher.  He had an interactive way of teaching that made you remember his lessons years later. Even in my youth group, we still talk about the things we remember from years back, things like "start righteousnessing."  I could provide a whole list of things I remember.  I don't remember the exact topic of this lesson, but I remember the key verse he used.

Psalm 81:10 (ESV)
I am the Lord your God,
who brought you up out of the land of Egypt.
Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.

I remember this verse because he used a picture to illustrate it, like he often did.   It was a picture of a nest full of baby birds, with their beaks wide open, waiting to be filled.  If we open up our mouth wide, God will fill it.  If I continue to seek God, and take time to listen to His voice, He will fill me.  He does not expect us to go on empty.  Although this teacher no longer stands and speaks to us on Sunday mornings, his words, his message still rings loud in our lives in many ways.  His impact is not forgotten.

No, I don't know what my life holds.  I don't know how far my words will reach.  I don't always know what my words will be.  But if I ask God, He will fill me.  I don't have to give what I don't have.  If I don't always turn out something significant here every week, be patient with me.  As the Lord leads, it will come.

Service = Greatness

"This is a great key to life: lose your life in service and you will become great.  Do what is right, even when it is difficult, especially when it is difficult.  Do not make the mistake of being a social climber.  Of course you will want to use your knowledge and skills and talents to do great things, but do them because they are right, because they are good, not because they make you look good." --Oliver DeMille, A Thomas Jefferson Education

Luke 22:24-27 (ESV)
"A dispute also arose among them, as to which of them was to be regarded as the greatest.  And he said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors.  But not so with you.  Rather, let the greatest among you become the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.  For who is greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves?  Is it not the one who reclines at table?  But I am among you as the one who serves." 

Serving After the Resurrection

I just finished reading through the Gospel of John and I couldn't help but be intrigued by Chapter 21. It recounts the last appearance Jesus makes to his disciples in that gospel. Seven of them have gone out fishing. They're out all night and have no luck. At dawn Jesus is standing on the shore and tells them to cast their nets on the other side and they don't only bring in the BIG ONE, they had so many they couldn't even haul the net in.

Now, there's a couple interesting things to note. When Jesus appeared to His disciples after His resurrection, they didn't recognize him, but they later always knew it was him without having to ask. Also, when Peter saw that it was Jesus, he put on his outer garment since he was naked and jumped into the water. Why he jumped in, I'm not sure, but he definitely wasn't going to have Jesus see him in his work clothes, or lack thereof. To me I think I see his sudden modesty as a sign of respect. Although the disciples brought in such a large quantity of fish the net was not torn and they took special note to count and record the number: 153 large fish.

Anyhow, the disciples come to shore to discover that Christ has made a coal fire and prepared fish and bread. While the men were out all night fishing and not catching anything, Jesus was making breakfast for them, although I think I would consider it more like supper. By what we read in the gospels, Jesus liked fish and bread and it seems like it was a staple in the diet of these people.

The fish and bread here isn't really the important thing. What I see as significant is that Jesus didn't just appear to them to see how they were still coming along. He came to them serving. He knew they had been out all night and hadn't caught any fish, so He told them how to get some. They also must have been hungry, so he prepared food for them. Jesus spent all his time in ministry serving other people, but it didn't stop after the resurrection. He was still meeting the needs of the people he loved.

I also believe Jesus didn't stop serving when He ascended. We know that He's sitting at the right hand of the Father and he lives to make intercession for us. He still continues to serve us. We pray; He answers. He still meets our needs. He's never stopped serving us. Isn't that amazing?

We often speak about serving the Lord and that's still true. But I think He still continues to serve us a lot more.

Called Only to Preach?

1 Corinthians 1:17 (ESV)
For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with the words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.

This verse really caught my attention this morning. Here, Paul is grateful that he didn't baptize many believers because of the divisions in the church caused by the "who-baptized-whom" issue. He even goes so far as to say he wasn't sent to baptize, but to preach. Now I do realize it doesn't say that was called ONLY to preach, as my title indicates. He was a spiritual father and wrote many letters of spiritual exhortation to the churches, but preaching was definitely his sole focus.

However, in what we as Christians commonly refer to as the Great Commission, Jesus commands His disciples to baptize. See what He says.

Matthew 28:18-20 (ESV)
And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

Notice how Jesus doesn't even use the word "preach" in that passage. His command is to make disciples, baptize and teach. But Paul didn't want to baptize. He didn't believe he was called to baptize. He believed his calling was to preach. How does this work?

I think this comparison shows us again that not all Christians are called to do the same thing. The Apostle Paul, one of the great leaders of the early church felt his calling was to preach, not to baptize, as was given in Jesus' command. Now, by saying this I don't mean to nullify what Jesus said, but could it perhaps mean that we are not all called to do what Jesus said to His disciples, or at least, not in the way He said it?

Each Christian has a specific calling for their life and we have to live within that. Not all of us are called to preach, baptize, and disciple others, but we must all love and demonstrate God's love to those around us. Again, I can't say for sure that I'm right on this matter. What do you think?

In One Verse

Have you ever tried summarizing the Christian life or salvation in one sentence? It can be difficult to wrap the Gospel into one sentence that people will fully understand. I recently encountered a verse where Jesus, in my opinion, perfectly describes the Christian life:

If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.
-John 14:23

It speaks of us loving Christ, keeping His commands, God loving us and coming down to live with us and in us. I'm glad that at some point, it seems Jesus thought, "Simply put, there it is. In case anybody has problems understanding what it is I want for them."

More small reflections on scripture hopefully coming soon.

Remembering God's Faithfulness

Do you ever think about God's faithfulness and just weep? Have you ever contemplated His goodness and found tears coming to your eyes? Have you ever taken the time to recount the many things He has done in your life and been filled with an inexpressible joy? I have.

I think as Christians, we often fail to remember these things. We get so caught up in the here-and-now and worries about the present and the future that we fail to recognize God's unending faithfulness. I also think God realized this was going to happen right from the beginning or He would not have told His people so many times to remember.

Something I've noticed recently as I've been reading through the first few books of the Old Testament is that God often commands the people to remember or to set something aside as an object of remembrance. In Exodus 13 when God institutes the Passover, He commands them to remember:

"And Moses said unto the people, Remember this day, in which ye came out of Egypt, out of the house of bondage; for by strength of hand the LORD brought you out from this place: there shall no leavened bread be eaten." --Exodus 13:3

In Exodus 20, He commands the people of Israel to remember the Sabbath and proceeds to tell them why it is holy.

I've noticed how prone the Israelites were to forget God's faithfulness. When they were brought out of the land of Egypt, they greatly rejoiced, but as soon as difficulties arose, they forgot and began complaining. Also in Numbers 11, the people complain after having tired of the manna that they ate day after day in the wilderness, and longed for Egypt where they had fish, cucumbers, melons, onions, leeks and garlic. It seems they totally forgot about God's amazing deliverance!

It is so important that we as Christians never cease to remember God's faithfulness. It's good for us not just to remember the death, burial and resurrection of Christ that brought us salvation, although that is very important, but to remember the various works He has done for us over the years. I encourage you to take the time to recount the many ways in which God has worked in your life.

I'm amazed at the things I have seen God has done in my life over the past several years. He has shown Himself strong in directing me in areas of schooling and work. I can look back and see circumstances which God has used to shape and mold me more into His image and how He has continued to change me. He has brought me through many valleys and trials and I'm so thankful for His unending faithfulness.

Give this a try and I assure you will be blessed!

Lamentations 3:22-23
"It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassion's fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."

Clinging to Christ

When life proves to be more difficult and you feel the pains of God's pruning and chastising in your life, it's easy to grow weary and discouraged. God's cleansing and purifying work is not easy, but we know that we will be stronger for it in the end. In the past few weeks, I've had to really cling to certain things to get me through. I've had to to remember who God is and what Jesus has done for me, remember who I am in Christ, and I have to hold to His promises.

When we realize who God is and what Jesus has done for us, it makes anything He asks us to do appear a little smaller. Just think that the Creator of the entire universe loves and cares about you. Remember that the very Son of God left His throne, lived a pure, sinless life and died a cruel death for you. If you think what you're going through hurts, remember what He did for you. Look to the cross where He hung stripped, beaten, mocked, ridiculed and how the blood flowed from His wounds. All of this He endured for you. We have been purchased by a very great price.

When we go through difficult times, Satan loves to come in our point of weakness and remind us of all the filth and slime we have behind us. He loves to tell us how wretched and sinful we are and top it off with a load of guilt and shame. And so often we believe it, because apart from Christ, it's true. But in Christ, we see a very different picture. In Christ, I am:

• accepted, forgiven and blameless
  
• unconditionally loved
• held safe in His arms
• we are pure, sanctified and perfected
  

Isaiah 43 is also a huge encouragement to me and it shows me who God is, and although God is speaking of Israel, to me is shows me who I am because of Him. I know I've gone over this same thing before, but a review certainly doesn't hurt:

• God has created and redeemed me, called me by name and I am His (v.1)
• He is with me through water and fire (v.2)
• I am precious and honoured in His eyes and He loves me (v.4)
• I am created for God's glory (v.7)
• I am His witness and chosen servant (v.10)
• God is the LORD, Redeemer, Holy One of Israel, Creator of Israel, and King
• "Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." (v.18,19, ESV)
  
• God blots out my sins for His own sake and He will not remember them (v.25)

There are many more verses in scripture that tell us who we are in Christ and I encourage you to search them out. And while you're doing that, search out His promises. I take great comfort in the fact that God will never leave me or forsake me, that I am His bride and He is coming back for me and that one day He will wipe away all tears. In times of trouble, I love to turn to the Psalms because it often shows me all of those things I mentioned above.

I have by no means gone into exhaustive lists here. I have merely scratched the surface, but I would love your feedback. Who are you in Christ? What promises do you cling to in difficult times? And I would also love to know who all my readers are, so please do come out of hiding.

God bless!

Being God's Watchmen

As I've been reading through Ezekiel, I see a recurring theme that shows what we as Christians are called to do. That is, to be a watchman, as Ezekiel was called to be a watchman for Israel. God speaks on this matter in both Ezekiel 3:16-21 and again in Ezekiel 33:1-9. Ezekiel was supposed to speak God's words to the people and warn the wicked of their iniquity. If he failed to warn them and they died in their iniquity, their blood was upon him. If he warned them and they continued in their iniquity and died in it, his soul was delivered.

So Ezekiel was the watchman for Israel. He would stand guard and give warning if there was danger. If he failed to do his job, the consequences were great.

How seriously do we as Christians take our jobs? Are we being watchmen for God? Are we warning people of their sin and sharing the Gospel with them? If we had the responsibility Ezekiel did and our failure came with the same consequences, how many deaths would we be responsible for?

I won't lie about it. I have a very difficult time sharing the Gospel with people. I lack the courage to approach people and speak to them of the condition of their souls. But if I took God seriously, I would have much more work to do.

In Ezekiel 34, God speaks against the shepherds of Israel. The shepherds fed themselves well, but they failed to feed to sheep. They weren't doing their jobs. Here's what God says in verses 4-6:

"The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them. So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd, and they became food for the wild beasts. My sheep were scattered; they wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. My sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with none to search or seek for them."

Would God have to say the same thing about us? Jesus commanded us to do the very things these shepherds failed to do, to strengthen the weak, heal the sick and seek out the lost. Very often however, we turn away. Or how often do we look down condemningly on others, even other Christians? We often exercise harshness more than gentleness and as a result many people are scattered and have become food for the wild beasts of the world.

Because the shepherds of Israel didn't seek out the lost sheep, God said He would do it and He established a covenant of peace. In Ezekiel 34:31 He said "And you are my sheep, human sheep of my pasture, and I am your God, declares the Lord GOD."

Are you being God's watchman?

Your Whole Heart

This week, I started reading in the book of Jeremiah. Now, in all honesty, I've read through the book of Jeremiah a few times and I never gleaned much from it, but this time, it's a little different. I've actually been seeing myself in it.

In the book of Jeremiah, Israel has forgotten God and turned to idols. A people that was once faithful as a young, devoted bride has turned away into backsliding and forsaken their God. Now they have defiled themselves in whoredom, but God who is merciful is calling them to repent and turn back to Him.

Now when I looked at this situation here, I thought "Do I defile myself with the things of this world? Am I faithful to God or do I go around seeking pleasure in other things?" In all honesty, yes, I often do. I seek out things that I know very well bring no true fulfillment and waste my time doing useless things all in an effort to try and find momentary joy. If I examine my life, I can see so clearly how often and easily I fall into this. I catch myself doing it, but I go on anyway. Now, just to be clear, there is nothing wrong with having fun. There are many things in this world that are good, pure, and enjoyable and it's good to enjoy them. We need that sometimes. But once it becomes a central, necessary, or controlling part of our lives, then we've run into a problem. We are giving other things and activities places in our lives which God should rightly have.

Jeremiah 4:22
"For my people are foolish; they know me not; they are stupid children; they have no understanding. They are 'wise'--in doing evil! But how to do good they know not."

Isn't this true of so many people? Doing evil seems to come so easily, so naturally, but doing good seems almost an impossible task for them. I mean, evil can even be so well thought out, tactfully planned, and efficiently carried out, but doing good is a whole different story. That often takes more courage than most of us can muster up.

Jeremiah 3:10
"Yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah did not return to me with her whole heart, but in pretense, declares the LORD."

I've caught myself doing this far too many times: turning to God in pretense. It's as if I think I can fool God and cheat Him into giving me what I want. I actually fool myself sometimes when I do this. But God knows the innermost thoughts, intentions, and motives behind what we do. We can come to God acting as if we truly desire Him, but He knows when we are completely insincere.

So my challenge for you is turn to the Lord with your whole heart in complete sincerity, holding nothing back. It's more difficult than it sounds. I'm wrestling with it myself. A question also comes to mind: Do you remember a time when you loved God more than you do now?

Don't let your love grow cold, but may your love and desire for the Lord be always increasing. God wants your whole heart.

So Much to Learn at a Concert

So, I went to see The Glorious Unseen in concert last night. If I had the choice to go again, I probably wouldn't. I like their albums, but the concert was just not my thing. Altogether, it was really, really loud. I think I felt just about every organ in my body vibrating. And although many of the songs had beautiful lyrics, the singer's voice was at times drowned out, and all I was hearing at times was just a bunch of noise. Some people may wonder why I don't like the really hard Christian music, and it's really just that; a whole ton of noise.

Now, I'm by no means "dissing" this group; I like their recorded albums and will continue to listen to them. They have some beautiful, very prayerful songs. But the thing was, I found myself thinking, how is God possibly going to speak and make His presence known through all this noise? However, I prayed that God would allow me to not be judgmental and show me something through it; to truly look past what I saw and heard around me. He didn't speak to me through the music, but through other things and in thinking over things later on in the evening.

Actually, the first thing was really the noise. I didn't think the Spirit could speak through the noise, and although I'm sure He can, I believe there is some truth to that. I was reminded of an account in the Old Testament where God displayed some mighty things to Elijah:

"And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD, And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake:
And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice."
--1 Kings 19:11, 12

When I read this passage, I hear a lot of noise, but God didn't speak in the midst of any of that. He waited until it was calm and quiet. And seeing as He spoke in a still small voice, Elijah wouldn't have heard it anyway. Now, music aside, what kind of "noise" do we have in our lives that may prevent God from speaking? Maybe it is literal noise, maybe you always have music playing, whatever it is you're doing. But what about the other things that fill up and clutter your life, things you constantly have going on, things you're always busy with? These things may not necessarily be bad; they may actually be very good. But could it be that you're surrounding yourself with so much "noise" that God is unable to speak, or that you are unable to hear Him when He does?

The other thing that stuck out to me was the Gospel message shared at the concert. At first, I kind of groaned within myself for several reasons: the man used a different Bible translation I wasn't familiar with and wasn't sure I liked, I wasn't crazy about the way he started off, and it was based on the parable of the prodigal son, which I was all too familiar with and hear the passage spoken on all too often, or so I thought. But I learned something very unexpected: it's great to hear the same thing again from a total new perspective. He brought out new points and insights that were totally new to me, things that I had never thought of or heard anybody speak on before. It gave me a new appreciation for the passage and for the insight of other teachers.

Last, was not really something I learned, but rather something I was amazed and challenged by. During the concert, The Glorious Unseen sang the song How He Loves Us, which was not written by this group. It was not my favourite song, but has an amazing story behind it, which you can hear from the writer personally here if you want, but I'll share the gist of it as well, as well as my thoughts. The morning before the person wrote this song a few years ago, his best friend who was a youth leader was in a prayer meeting. And he prayed that if God would shake the youth of the nation, he would give up his life. He said he would die today if it meant that God would shake the youth of the nation. He died that night in a car accident. The writer of this song trusted that if God heard the first part of the prayer, he would follow through with the second. And although this man, who became a youth leader himself, saw many wonderful things, he didn't see a movement happen. This song that he wrote the morning after his friend's death, actually did end up changing the lives of many teens.

I believe this song is only a small part of that man's prayer. I mean, here was a man who not only prayed for change, but laid His life before God, ready to die, if it only meant that God would bring change. It's amazing for me to think of the possibility of our generation turning their lives over to the Lord and living lives surrendered to Him is because of a man's prayer and sacrifice. I also believe that the Rebelution is one such movement that is an answer to this man's prayer and death. I believe that God is working and He will fulfill that man's request. His death shall not be in vain. How will you respond? Will you surrender up your life to God, living it fully for Him, laying aside all the cares and things this world has to offer, and follow Jesus no matter what the cost?

To close, I apologize for my lack of blogging this year. It has been a busy one, but it's also been a good one, in which I have seen many amazing things. I'm done school now, and with having some more free time on my hands, I hope to post more consistently, if anybody's still paying attention. Blessings!

Making Room For God's Plans

I've been wanting to get this post up for over a week now. Finally, a few events are over, including our banquet and church's Christmas program, and many other things, so it feels really good to be able to slow down for a few days before going caroling and Christmas with all the things that come along with it.

Something God has been showing me is making room for His plans, for they are far greater than mine. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Another translation says "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

Awhile ago, I was asked to do something that I have to honestly say I wasn't particularly thrilled about. However, allowed God to be in charge that evening, and did He ever do something incredible. I could very easily have gone my own way, but I would have missed out on a tremendous blessing.

God really does want to give us His very best if we are willing to surrender our lives to Him and make room for His plans.

Your Plans, Eh?

Ah, don't we all like that. The idea of planning our lives. It makes us feel like we're in control and headed for success, just like we have it all together and know exactly what we're doing. But the truth is, we're not in control and we don't know exactly what we're doing.

I used to try and plan out my life, but then I started noticing something. I can't even make a day go the way I want it to, let alone a week. Tell me again why I'm trying to plan my life? God shows me everyday that He has different plans for me than I have for myself.

Does that mean we can't have a vision? No. A vision is good, but not if you're trying to plan your life day by day, year by year. God may have something very different in mind, but I can assure you, that in the end, it will be something better.

But sometimes, we face this matter, that we don't like what God has for us. We don't want to accept His will.

Matthew 26:39,42
And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.
He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.

Sometimes, we have a trial put in front of us that we want so desperately that God would take it away from us. Jesus, too, cried out for the cup to be taken away. But God will not always do that. I really took notice this morning as I read this verse, how Jesus said, "if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done." (emphasis mine) Sometimes, there's no way around the valley, but to go through it; no way around the mountain, but to go over it; no way around the raging sea, but through it. Likewise, sometimes, there's no way around the cup, but to drink it.

But in this, God never sends us through something; He always goes with us. He comes out to us on the raging sea, and calls us out onto the water. God bless you!

Finally!

Okay, time to sit down and write a solid post. When asking for suggestions, somebody left a comment in regards to my new job, so I shall answer that. I got a job at the Kuma Cafe, a new coffee shop opening in our hometown. And, no, Kuma isn't an English word but it would basically be like a pantry. It was a real answer to prayer and God has just shown Himself so strong in this matter, I can hardly believe it myself! A verse that God gave me in confirmation to this was "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." (Matthew 7:7) We went shopping today to buy fabric for skirts for work and found really nice stuff for $3.00 a meter! Now, I don't know much about sewing, but that's incredibly cheap. God is good.

I've also been thinking about this poem lately:

I Asked God

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
I was made weak, that I might learn to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for — but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all people, most richly blessed.

Anonymous

Sometimes we look at circumstances in our lives and think them most undesirable. God answers prayers, but sometimes in a different way than we expect and we find ourselves saying something like "God, this isn't exactly what I had in mind." But I think that even if God never gave us precisely anything we asked for--if he gave us weakness instead of strength, poverty instead of riches, infirmity instead of health, and so on--I think one day, we would look back and say that we did get everything we had ever wanted and more, even if it did come in different packaging.

CJ, at his blog was sharing six things that he learned this year, so I thought I would include that as well.

1. Even after a year and a half of babysitting, I learned that I know nothing about child training.
2. I learned to bake bread this year.
3. I learned to drive this year and made my G2 license.
4. Mom really does know more than I do. Persistence always wins, they say, but you will regret it later.
5. If it's God's will, He will bless it.
6. The Lord's chastening is all the proof I need that He loves me.

Thank you to everyone who has been patient with me in the blogging world. God bless you all richly and abundantly.

Letting Go

Last night, I came home tired, but not too tired. I was more than ready to shower, settle down in my pajamas under my blankets with a hot cup of rooibos tea and focus on God. These last few days have been hard and wonderful at the same time. I'm learning to let go and be broken. Some of you may know what that feels like.

I was reading yesterday in Ezekiel and a little part of a verse stuck out to me. It wasn't particularly in the context it was in, but it still spoke to me nonetheless: Behold, when it was whole, it was meet for no work. So from this, I know that until I am cut down and broken, I am of no use. I think also of the seed. Unless it falls into the ground and dies, it abideth alone. But once it dies, then it begins to grow.

Matthew 13: 45, 46
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls:
Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.

Jesus is that pearl of great price. He costs us everything, but He is more than worth the price. I want my life to reflect these verses. I want to like Mary, choose that good part, which will not be taken away from me. (See Luke 10: 41,42) People can take so much away from us: our house, car, possessions, jobs, family, friends, food, clothing, but they cannot take Jesus away from us. While we only have things here for a time, we always have Jesus.

Like Jim Elliot, I want to give up what I cannot keep to gain that which I cannot lose. Why would I hold on to something now, when I can see that one day, it will be taken away from me, with much pain. Why not just let go now, and gain so much more.

I find myself repeating the words of the song Cry for Humility by Christ our Life:

I will worship in Spirit and in Truth
Teach me discipline, to meditate on You
You gave up Your life, I must give my all to You
Remove the veil so I can see

God bless you all and have a wonderful week.

A White Blanket

I woke up some time in the early dark hours this morning to hear that scraping along the road that we haven't heard for many months. A snowplow? No, impossible. It was snowing last night when we came home, but it was surely just wet snow. I fall back asleep. When I wake up again, I turn over to look at my alarm clock, wondering why it hadn't gone off yet, only to find it dark. I check my lamp. No electricity. I drag myself out of the comfort of my bed and it was cold. Time to turn on the heat. Oh, yeah, I can't. It was still dark outside but not too dark to see the snow out of the hallway window and I could vaguely make out a fallen tree branch. I found a flashlight downstairs and pointed it at the dining room clock. 7:15. Time to climb back under the warm blankets. I couldn't read my Bible in the dark anyway. Half an hour later, the power went back on.

After having my devotions, I look out the window to some strange scenery. One large maple is almost completely bare, but the smaller one next to it is still almost all green, it's branches hanging heavy on the ground under the weight of the snow. I turn away to get up and going for the day and Christmas tunes start popping into my head. I turn back to the green maple. This is not right! It's only the last week of October.

But isn't it great that we serve a God who is in charge and when I remember that I can say "Amen! It's beautiful!" For he saith to the snow, Be thou on the earth; likewise to the small rain, and to the great rain of his strength. (Job 37:6)

When I came downstairs and looked out of the kitchen, I saw another almost frightening sight to what the snow had done to another half red, half green maple. This definitely was worthy of a few pictures.

God bless and have a great week.

Feet Upon a Rock

Okay, this is humbling to say after my cheery post on Tuesday, but I had a really hard day yesterday. And it didn't help that there are so many things I can't understand, including myself. The Lord's chastisement really hurts, but it's all the proof I need that He loves me. In the evening, during my prayer time, I felt a calm come over me, much different than some of the frustrations of my day. I almost couldn't understand it. Then I remembered a few lines from a hymn:

In seasons of distress and grief,
My soul has often found relief,
And oft escape the tempter's snare,
By thy return, sweet hour of prayer.
--Sweet Hour of Prayer, William W. Walford, 1842

How often do we really flee to that safe retreat before our Father's throne? I, sooner seem to struggle along out of my own strength, wondering why I can't get anything right. That's because, in my own strength, I can't get anything right. In me dwells no good thing, but in Christ, I can be made perfect. I must empty myself and call on the Lord to be filled.

I am also thankful for God's mercy and forgiveness. As Jeremiah 31:34 says "...I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more." "He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings." (Psalm 40:2)

"By trying to grab fulfillment everywhere, we find it nowhere."
--Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity

Where Shall Wisdom Be Found?

I was amazed this morning when I was reading in Job and would like to share it all with my fellow readers, seeing as I haven't posted in over a week. Before reading my post, I would encourage you to read Job 28 yourself, since I don't want to type out the whole chapter. In Job 28, Job starts out by saying where many things come from, like silver, iron, brass, etc. Then in verse 12, he asks a question:

Job 28:12,13
But where shall wisdom be found? and where is the place of understanding?
Man knoweth not the price thereof; neither is it found in the land of the living.

He goes on to say that the price of wisdom is far above many valuable items, such as silver, gold, pearls, and precious stones. In verse 22, he says "Destruction and death say, We have heard the fame thereof with our ears." In all honesty, I would have to say that's also true about my own life: I have heard the fame of wisdom, but that's about it. I often find myself asking, "Well, what is wisdom, really?"

Job 28:23,27,28
God understandeth the way thereof, and he knoweth the place thereof.
Then did he see it, and declare it; he prepared it, yea, and searched it out.
And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.

Wisdom is something that God saw and declared, something He prepared and searched out, and it's something I want to pursue! Glory to our King!

I Would Love Thee

I would love Thee, God and Father! My Redeemer, and my King!
I would love Thee; for without Thee Life is but a bitter thing.

I would love Thee; ev'ry blessing Flows to me from out Thy throne;
I would love Thee; -he who loves Thee Never feels himself alone.

I would love Thee; look upon me, Ever guide me with Thine eye:
I would love Thee; if not nourished By Thy love, my soul would die.

I would love Thee; I have vowed it; On Thy love my heart us set;
While I love Thee, I will never My Redeemer's blood forget.
-Jeanne Marie Guyon, 1648-1717

These words have become very precious to me the last few days. I've been overflowing with joy and surrounded by a peace which passes all understanding.

I started reading this morning in Job. Even after loosing all that he owned, Job "fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:20, 21) After being afflicted with boils, he says "shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips." (Job 2:10)

Is this our reaction when troubles and trials come our way? Probably, not very often. Something I've been thinking about is that God never sends me through trials all alone but he holds my hand through all of it.

Blessings to everyone! Have a wonderful week.