Not Feeling

Very often (nearly always, I'm afraid) when I come to church my feelings are uppermost in my mind. This is natural. We are human, we are "selves," and it takes no effort at all to feel. But worship is not feeling. Worship is not an experience. Worship is an act, and it takes discipline. We are to worship in spirit and in truth." Never mind about the feelings. We are to worship in spite of them.
Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be a Woman

I can definitely identify with this. Worship really takes discipline because it is so easy to go on feelings. Some mornings I wake up and I don't feel like getting up for my devotions and sleep on. Then right before it's time to go down for breakfast, I rush through a couple of chapters of my Bible and hurry on with my day. Then things start going wrong and I usually know exactly why. I didn't spend the time with God I should have that morning or I did something right off that I don't want to admit was wrong and it goes down from there.

If you're at the top of a hill, a muddy one, perhaps, if you slip, if you catch yourself right away and regain your step, you'll likely be okay. Yes, the way may still be difficult, but you're still on you're two feet. But if you don't catch yourself right away, you might not be able to until you're at the very bottom and a serious mess at that.

I find I do that all the time. I slip and fail to catch myself right away, and my day goes downhill from there. Once I've made a few mistakes I don't want to admit, my conscience is guilty, worship is hard. It's hard to turn to Him, to worship, pray, and meditate on His Word. You see, the decisions we make first thing in the morning affect our whole day. We reap the fruit throughout the day of the first choices we make when we start our day.

Life for me is changing. I'm excited, but I know it won't always be easy. I marvel at God's faithfulness. He has been good to me.