Reflecting Him Part 2

This post is a continuation of Reflecting Him Part 1.  Just so you know, my weeks aren't always that hard, and I did highlight the hard parts.  I did get some feedback that indicated surprise.

What I began learning at the end of that hard week, and am still in the process of learning is to intercede for people even in the midst of my trials.  To intercede means to plead on another's behalf or to act as a mediator in a dispute.  The word is often used a term for praying for other people.  And although I'm learning the importance of that, I'm also learning to go beyond praying for them.  I'm learning the importance of reaching out to them personally.

You see, I'm not the only one with problems.  I'm not the only who is going through or has gone through pain.  I'm not the only one who hurts, who gets depressed, who faces family challenges, work challenges, who lacks clarity, who struggles spiritually, who gets sick, etc.  I am surrounded by hurting, broken people who can't walk their road alone.  I'm surrounded by people who need a friend to come alongside, to listen, to share their pain.  Even if I don't always know how to help them, sometimes they just need to know somebody else cares, that they're not forgotten.

Think about this.  It is possible that for some reason, you are the only one who sees another's pain.  Perhaps other people notice, but choose to ignore it.  Or perhaps you're the only one a person has had the confidence and trust to share their struggles with.  Perhaps you've just experienced something that allows you to understand what that person is going through.  Don't assume someone else will talk to a hurting person.  This really hit me personally last week when somebody said "You're the only person who asks me."

Sometimes it's hard to make the effort.  It's hard to reach out to others and to listen when I'm bogged down in my own problems.  I'm working through a massive load in my life right now, but there are a few individuals and families that I have had to be intentional about staying connected with.  I've had to be intentional about showing them that I care about them too, and that I'm not just dumping my problems on them, which I can do very easily.

There are days where I feel like I have a right to my "down time".  Some people like to just "veg" and recharge.  Jesus needed down time too.  He needed time away from His work and peoples' demands, but most often, He wasn't just sitting by Himself in a mountain somewhere.  He was spending time with the Father and recharging by His strength.  No, I don't know what He always prayed about, but I think He probably spent a good deal of time interceding for others.  And after that, He went and served them again.

We all get worn out.  We all have hard days and seasons where we just don't know how to keep going.  Tenth Avenue North has a song called "Worn" which has really come to mean a lot to me personally the last couple months.  It echoes how I have felt many days, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.  I encourage you to listen to it, and gather strength, knowing there's hope and this is not the end.  Then look around for someone who needs your prayers and encouragement.

Reflecting Him Part 1

This post was written after a tiring week, but I don't know when it will go onto my blog.  As for some background, at New Year's, my primary vision for 2013 was that in good times, and in hard times, God's grace and strength would be reflected in my life.  This post is a look at my week and what I learned through it. (I have been non-specific about some things to keep some aspects of my life/work more private.)

*  *  *  *  *

I go to bed earlier to catch up on sleep I missed the night before.  Monday went alright, but I know I have stresses and long days ahead of me yet.  I need the rest and energy, and I pray for a good night.  I fall asleep quickly, or at least I think so.  The next thing I remember is various thoughts going through my mind.  I'm in a half-awake and dreaming at the same time.  I begin to shake underneath my blankets.  No, I can't get sick now.  I have an important meeting today.  I wonder if I will have to call in.  I've never had to do that before.

Wondering how much time I have before I have to get up, I turn over to look at the alarm clock.  It's only 11:22.  I still have over six hours.  I push the covers back and head down to the bathroom.  There I continue to shake violently.  This happens all too often to me.  I try to relax my shaking body, then go to the kitchen where I measure a spoon of antacid into a glass of water.  I drink the bubbling mixture, hoping it will work quickly and I will be able to sleep again.

Shortly hereafter, I make my way back to bed, only to come back down to the bathroom several times.  I try to vomit, but am not successful.  After being up for about two hours, I drift off to sleep.  In the morning, I pull myself out of bed, force some breakfast down, take a Gravol and go to work.

*  *  *  *  *

I have been praying about this meeting for weeks.  I have feared it.  I stare out the window watching scenery and traffic go by and pray again.  I know we'll need it.  Afterward, I walk out confused.  It went totally different than expected.  Better than expected.  I want to thank God, but I'm so confused, I only wonder when the next attack will come.

Why do I do this? Why is it that when things go better than expected, I either think I was worried for no reason, or that something bad is yet bound to happen?  I pray for weeks about something, and then when it goes well, I don't even give credit to God.  Why do I strip Him of the praise He deserves?

*  *  *  *  *

I come home late.  It has now been 14 hours since I left that morning.  Another fearful meeting has gone better than expected.  I'm very tired and hungry.  Nothing is prepared for me.  I pull out a carton of almond milk and Cheerios.  This is as much supper as I can handle half an hour before bed.  Must try to get 8 hours of sleep tonight, because I have the same kind of day ahead of me tomorrow, although likely not quite as late.

*  *  *  *  *

I drive myself to another meeting.  It's an hour to my destination.  I can follow Christian radio stations for the whole drive, but I'm looking forward to getting past the next city where the traffic thins out.  These are moments I'm thankful for.  After the meeting, I make a similar drive home, although slower than usual with the snow in some areas.  I arrive home earlier than last night.  I had noticed pork chops thawing on the kitchen counter that morning and looking forward to something close to a real supper.  There are, however, no pork chops left.  I cut a bagel in half, push down the toaster, and pull a jar of Cheez Whiz out of the fridge. I don't even like this stuff, but I crave it occasionally and don't want butter again.  How does that work?

*  *  *  *  *

So there's snippets of a few of my days.  What did I learn from all this?  Although I was busy, tired, and had little time to think or focus on anything other than work, I can never shut my mind off completely. Some of the things I have described are common for me.  Others perhaps not so much.  What I saw though is that when I desire to reflect God's strength, my circumstances don't always change.  God doesn't always sugar-coat things for me or smooth out the road.  Life is still hard.  I still get tired.  I still feel sick during nights I really need sleep.  I still have to get up and go to work when I really don't want to.  So how do I reflect God's grace in all of this?

Response.  That's what it comes down to.  I can whine and complain, or I can invite God into my circumstances.  The difference is in how I respond.  And to be honest, my response is generally to complain and get irritable with people around me, to mope in my self-pity.  Perhaps that's largely what I've been doing in this post.  

When I look back on this week, I can't identify a moment where God's strength was incredibly evident.  But I do recognize where I had peace that I normally would not have.  I have recognized meetings that went better than they should have.  And yet, my first instinct wasn't to praise God and give Him credit for these things, although I had prayed significantly about them.  I know I'm not the only one to do this but why do we do that?  Why do we dismiss things and say that maybe we were just overreacting or getting worried for nothing when things go better?  Why do we try to credit our own strength when we can go to work when we don't want to, when we can speak with confidence and peace, when just the thought of something half an hour earlier terrified us?  It's something I don't entirely understand.

This I do understand.  We reflect God's grace and strength in how we respond to circumstances.  We reflect His grace when we give Him the credit that's rightfully His.  We also reflect Him when we intercede for others in our own hard times.  

But that's too much for this post, and I will continue my story later.

To be continued....

Press On

What do you think about rash decisions? I've concluded today that for the most part, they're not a good idea. I was very close today to dropping out of my chemistry course. Save me a lot of stress and headaches, why not? It's super hard and I'll be very lucky to pass this course and I don't need it. I talked to my guidance counselor for 15 minutes and my options are actually not too bad.

But then I started thinking about this a little bit more. I still need another credit in place of that and that would mean more time and possibly not being able to finish this year and more money, all for something I'm not sure is going to be any better. And I'm almost three-quarters of the way through and if I worked consistently it may only mean about two more weeks and then my exam. So realistically speaking, the whole idea was a pretty stupid one. But I just about did it to try and get out of something I don't like.

I said I couldn't do it. In and of myself and my own strength I can't. But Who do I serve? I serve a great and awesome God that can do a whole lot more than help me pass a chemistry course. By His power, I can. I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me. How can I share with others this incredible God when I can't put my trust in Him in such a matter as chemistry? What else do I promote? I really enjoy telling people about the Rebelution and Do Hard Things. And here I'm throwing in the towel for schoolwork that I don't understand. Where's the perseverance? Why am I not striving for excellence and doing the hard things God has put in my life?

Overall, I didn't have peace over withdrawing from this course. When I got to the store this afternoon, I flipped through the book Living Above the Level of Mediocrity, which I bought today, and began scanning chapter titles: Determination; Standing Tall When Tested; Standing Firm When Discouraged; Standing Strong When Tempted. Over and over the words ring. Press on. Persevere. DON'T GIVE UP! This is what God has called us to.

New Seasons

I absolutely love watching the colours change as autumn comes around. I feel fresh and new today, but I can't say it's always been like that the last few weeks. I've been trying to deal with a lot of things as God is purifying me...it's been really hard. But I also feel a spiritual rain coming. I was blessed to take a walk this morning, with my skirt blowing in the wind and the leaves dancing around me. Then after I came back, spending some time with my nephew, playing in the leaves, as the rain came. I managed to convince him to come inside before we got too wet and get some of the morning's pictures and videos on the computer.

I was reading in James this morning and came across these words:

James 1:2-4
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

Joy? Perfect and entire, wanting nothing? That's not exactly now I would describe how I've been feeling the last couple of weeks. But it can be! Why should I count it all joy? Because I am growing stronger! No, it isn't easy, but it's definitely worth it in the end. The victory is mine. I just have to take hold of it.

You may know what it's like to seriously exercise after you haven't done it for awhile! You may feel pretty sore for a few days. Normally, I would complain and moan over the pain, but not this week. I actually find that it feels good to be sore. I know I'm getting stronger and it feels good. I thank God that He has given me the ability to exercise and use my body.

I was almost in wonder this morning. While some trees are already bare, some are still green. ...and that's wonderful! It's easy to be discontent and want someone else's life but maybe it's a lot like the trees. When they change at different times, we can enjoy the colours longer. It's more exciting when things are different.

Here are a few pictures I got this morning:
God bless you as you continue to serve Him!

God is Working

It's been almost a week since I last posted...it feels like yesterday. This week has gone by much faster than I initially anticipated. I know my posts haven't had very much in them lately but that doesn't mean my life is boring right now. Completely the opposite, actually. God has been doing a marvelous work in my life. It's not easy, but He's with us even through the fiery trials. I'm learning so much and He speaks to me in such everyday ordinary things if I'm willing to listen and learn. I'm learning not to get distracted in my life but rather to focus on the task at hand; serving my Lord and Saviour where He has placed me right now. Otherwise the results may not be so good at all. I hardly know what to say...words don't do justice what I've been learning and God's marvelous works in my life, even if I tried to explain.

The last few weeks I've often gone back to the Psalms for words of strength and encouragement.

Psalm 63:7, 8
Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.
My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.

One day I randomly turned to Psalm 60 and something caught my attention:
Psalm 60: 9-12
Who will bring me into the strong city? who will lead me into Edom?
Wilt not thou, O God, which hadst cast us off? and thou, O God, which didst not go out with our armies?
Give us help from trouble: for vain is the help of man.
Through God we shall do valiantly: for he it is that shall tread down our enemies.

Isn't that amazing! It reminds me of Job.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
-Selah, Before the Throne of God Above

God bless you and keep you. Give Him praise.

Take It Away?

Maybe you've been going through a string of trials like me and you've pleaded with God to take it away. Then you have to wonder and ask why He doesn't do it. Well, I knew better than to ask God to take it away because I knew He wouldn't do it but I had to wonder why. Then it dawned on me that if He always took everything away, we'd never learn anything, or grow for that matter. When we don't understand a math problem, we don't learn how to do it when it's taken away from us, but rather by working through it and practicing. We need to also recognize that we don't just have a Lord, Saviour, Redeemer, Friend, but that Jesus is also our Teacher and Guide. He doesn't just put something in front of us and then leave us on our own but helps us through it.

At first thought, we like to say "It's too hard!" Humanly speaking, possibly, but we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. On our own, it may be too hard, but with strength from above, we are not just survivors but more than conquerors.

God bless.

Broken Pieces

Well, these last few weeks I've been torn apart and heartbroken and now I'm just a bunch of broken pieces. It really hurts but then I realized, Hey, I'm at a place now that God can work with me and that's exciting. And an amazing work that He's doing! He's teaching me so much that I can hardly take it all in at once. I find that I can't just lean on Jesus but I need to completely throw myself on Him. He is good, merciful, and faithful even when I'm not.

Our youth held a free car wash for the community on Saturday and we found out that's a great way to shock people...an absolutely free car wash. We had rain on and off but I still managed to get a sunburn but it was good.

I know I'm not worthy of God's love but I praise and thank Him for it every day.

And I'll stand in awe of You,
Yes I'll stand in awe of You,
And I'll let my words be few-
Jesus I am so in love with You.
-Matt Redman

May this be our song each day. And if it isn't real in our life, then lets make it real. Glory be unto Jesus.

I Need Your Help

I'll be honest...I'm going through a really hard time right now and I can't do it alone. I need the prayers of other believers. Just when I thought I couldn't get any busier God throws a book in there. Yes, that's what I've been hinting at the last few posts. It seems that God wants me to write a novel; he wants to accomplish the impossible in me. I cannot do it, but He can do it through me. Along with that, I'm going through a lot of inner struggles that I really don't know how to deal with. I'm slowly seeing that it all ultimately boils down to my own pride and selfishness. Pray that it may be crushed and replaced with a spirit of humility, meekness, and love. Pray that I may lean on Jesus and know I can't do it on my own. Pray that if God wants me to write this book, that He would provide the time and would show me what to write and reveal Himself to me. I'm really learning to do hard things; getting out of my comfort zone, pursuing excellence rather than excuses, doing things that don't immediately pay off...

"Great faith is the product of great fights. Great testimonies are the outcome of great tests. Great triumphs can only come out of great trials."
-Smith Wigglesworth

I trust that God wants to show Himself strong through my weaknesses and that this will be a time of growing. So, I have to go because I do have a lot of work to do.

God be with you.

The Lord is Good!

The Lord is good. I could recite Psalm 145 to describe this but I won't. Can I magnify Him for what He has done in my life? Absolutely. Can I begin to describe His goodness? That's somewhat more difficult. I was asked yesterday why I loved Jesus. I considered answering that it was because He first loved me. But that just doesn't say enough. When I consider what He has done for me, how He suffered and died to pardon me from my sin, what do I owe Him? My life, my love, my full devotion and adoration. But I know that. What do I really owe Him? To extend the same measure of love to others that He has extended to me. This is what I owe Him along with my life and this is the best testimony that I have Christ living in me: the love I extend to others. It will not always be easy. It wasn't easy for Christ to die for us. Nevertheless, this is what we owe Him.

So that's my random meditation for today and God bless you as you continue to have sweet fellowship with Him.

Learning From a Rough Week

I'd been sick for a week now and I'm still recovering although feeling much better. It seems I had gotten a nasty case of food poisoning (not fun) and after nobody else got it and it lasted for so long, I knew it wasn't just a stomach flu. It's so easy to take our good health for granted. This was probably the hardest week I've had in long time. For the last few weeks I had been learning to take everything to God in prayer so that's exactly what I did. Last Thursday night I still felt fine but I had a bit of a cold so I prayed for God to take it away and I woke up in the morning with this. Personally I would rather have taken the cold. And every time I prayed for healing it just got worse and just when I thought I was starting to feel better it got worse again. My faith was really under fire.

Sometimes you get bored from doing chores and the same things all the time, but don't complain. It's really hard when you're too sick to do the things you normally do. After hardly being able to eat for a week, loosing nearly ten pounds (and I'm fairly small as it is), and being extremely weak, I was pretty well left in bed a few days. Then you see that Mom could use a lot of help but you can't help her and when you offer she sends you to bed. So don't ever complain about all the work you have to do; thank God for the health that you can do those things.

Anyway, I have a lot to do but I'll try and post again early next week. Blessings!

I'm Back

Sorry, I've been trying to get a post in all week but something kept coming up. I feel like I've had a really busy week but gotten little accomplished. And yet, I've learned a lot. Mainly that I have to be completely dependent on God in all things. Also, the importance of diligently working at the task right in front of me. Some of you may know the feeling; we have a great vision and great things we want to accomplish and here we are inching along not really getting anywhere. But at the same time we're making great progress. We are preparing for great things. We are taking small steps toward the goal but they are very necessary. Things don't happen overnight. We can't expect to wake up one morning and have our greatest dreams fall in our lap.

One of my dreams is to one day serve in Ghana and here I am dragging through my schoolwork, trying to do other things to keep moving. But if I can't be faithful in the small mission fields God has placed me in, I won't be faithful in the big ones later. I've noticed this week that I'm really in a mission training ground. It's easy to get discouraged and discontent with the small hard things we're doing but they are extremely important. Our calling is to seek, serve, love, and learn more about Jesus, to seek His favour and for that we will have great rewards.

Blessings!

Why Do We Get Discouraged?

I'll start by saying that I tend to get discouraged easily. It's so easy to look at areas of your life that are lacking and say, "If I could only be able to do this or could only fix this area of my life." This is good and we need to look at areas of our life that need work but not to the point that we get discouraged. It's easy to look at others and see all the things they can do that we can't and all these character qualities that they have totally together and feel like a total failure. But the truth is we aren't supposed to compare ourselves with each other. In school when we did track and field and short distance running, one thing the teachers always stressed is don't look back because it slows you down. And it does. We are called to run the race and if we look back or turn to look at the person next to us, we slow down.

Another thing is that maybe if someone has something in their life all together where you're lacking, you might be strong in one area where they're lacking. I often get discouraged because I can't sew but I cannot let this weigh me down. It would be great if I could and the sooner I learn the better, but I'm not in a do or die situation; I still have time. On the other hand, there's things that I really don't mind doing. I've learned to enjoy doing dishes (usually) and for me cleaning showers and toilets is really not that bad. No, it's not my choice chore, but it's got to be done and I don't like dirty bathrooms. It's the same with character. I have to be honest that I do have a warmer temper under me but by God's grace I can work on it and change that. Even when we look at great men of God, they don't have it all together. King David was an adulterer and yet was a man after God's own heart.

So let us not be discouraged but run the race with perseverance and endurance and press toward the goal. Great will be our reward.

Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God

I was faced with a question this last weekend: Do you remember a time when you loved God more than you do now? I'm sure many of us can say that there was a time in our life that we had a greater passion and zeal for God than we do now. If so, what brought this downslide? For me it was my proud, stubborn, selfish attitude. Along with that, my lack of faith and trust in God.

Early on this year, God showed me that this year wasn't going to go as I had planned it to. For the past couple of weeks I have been desperately looking for a job. I was now presented with an opportunity but with a very low income. I look around saying I need this and I need to do that but I can't do it without money. As I was thinking about this this morning, I remembered the verse:

Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

How much do I really trust God for His providence? I may not get all the things I want, but I will get all the things I need. I love how this verse is a promise; Jesus doesn't say all these things may be added unto you or I'll think about it but is spoken with assurance. I also think of a verse in Psalms:

Psalm 37:4,5
Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

Psalm 1:2,3
But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

Again and again we see great and precious promises but each one is attached to a prerequisite: that we seek God and love Him and delight in Him. I wonder why we often get so worked up about things rather than grabbing hold of God's promises. It would make life so much easier.

Philippians 4:6
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

Here we have another requirement: thanksgiving. One thing I have seen is that God cannot put me into the workplace until I'm content at home. It's like this with so many other things as well; God cannot call us to marriage until we are content in our single life and He can't send us out to another country to be a missionary until we learn to be a missionary at home. Well, I guess that's enough rambling for one day. Blessings!

Psalm 105: 3,4
Glory in his holy name: let the heart of the rejoice that seek the LORD.
Seek the LORD, and his strength: seek his face evermore.

Mountains or Valleys

I must say that I'm at a difficult place in my life right now where I feel stuck between a mountain and a valley. It seems like the valley is calling out to me "Come, it's easy here. You don't need to climb that big mountain. Why would you make it so hard?" But then I look at the rock that looks so sure. It's an awful hard climb but the view at the top must be incredible. Is it worth it? What if I fall or get hurt? But I know that the Lord is my rock; I read it over and over again in scripture and sing it over again:

The Lord's our Rock, in Him we hide,
A shelter in the time of storm.

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee.

He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock
That shadows a dry thirsty land;
He hideth my life in the depths of His love,
And covers me there with His hand.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand-
All other ground is sinking sand.

I'm pressing on the upward way,
New heights I'm gaining every day-
Still praying as I'm onward bound
"Lord, plant my feet on higher ground."

Don't stay in the valley; climb the mountain.

Random Ramblings

So, it's finally time for another solid post and even if it's just a long post of random ramblings, I hope you get something out of it. I've been learning many things the hard way all the way from gossip and the daily decisions I make. I've learned that not only do you reap what you sow, but you also reap a lot longer than you sow, a lot harder than you sow, and a lot more than you sow. Now, I'm reaping the consequences of choices I made over a year ago that I never thought would have any future effect on me. Something else is about the doors in our Christian life. If you see an open door, take it. If you come to a closed door, don't camp out in front of it waiting for it to open because then you're useless for anything else. And don't force a door open because it'll only end in a disaster.

There's also been something else on my mind that's going to need a little more explaining and I'm not sure if it'll make any sense at all but here goes. As I look around, children and youth nowadays are in a sad situation. Each one feels that they need to conform to a certain likeness in order to be accepted. They require a certain image, opinion, political viewpoint, or way of thinking in order to be accepted by their peers. By doing this, they wear a mask and completely forget who they really are. They may be able to tell you what they believe but have absolutely no support for it. Why? Because it's not what they believe. It's merely been adopted from someone else. Our generation has become afraid to be different. Our culture and the media has set up so many ideals that everyone is trying to reach. There's the ideal body image, the ideal career, spouse, family, house, lifestyle. Everybody's looking for or trying to work towards these ideals. They put all their time, energy, and money into these things hoping to achieve a certain level of wealth or prosperity. They feel that's where their happiness lies and they only come out disappointed. One day they realize that their ideal doesn't exist or it didn't bring the satisfaction hoped for. They look back feeling as if their whole life has been wasted, thrown away. I have yet to find a person who has a perfect life, the perfect spouse without fault, the perfect house. Many people think that if they only had so much money, they would be happy. But it's never enough. The more they have, the more they want.

The scary thing is these falsehoods have been drilled into the minds of children. That if they're pretty, famous, have lots of money, they'll be happy. They idolize movie stars and celebrities and all their glamour, glitter, and gold not realizing they are some of the unhappiest people yet. They wear a mask in front of the camera that looks good but inside are torn apart. They get into drugs, have broken relationships, suffer from depression and the list goes on. By looking up to these people, children too begin to wear a mask and don't know who they are anymore.

What are we putting into the minds of children? Are we encouraging different lifestyles or asking them to go along with everyone else? Are we putting false ideals in front of them? Or are we pointing them to the cross showing them that only Jesus can bring true fulfillment in their lives? What are we doing for the next generation?

Sorry that was so long, but I hope you got something out of it. Blessings!

What Would Happen If We Were Radical?

I'm currently reading The Life of D. L. Moody. Yes, it is a rather large volume but I'm working my way through. And as I always do when I read accounts of godly men and women of the past, I look at myself and ask many questions. I'll get to that in a minute.

In the introduction, the writer speaks about Dr. R. A. Torrey, a close friend and associate of D. L. Moody and the seven points Torrey described in answer to why God chose to use Moody.

1. "He was a fully surrendered man."
2. "Mr. Moody was in the deepest and most meaning sense a man of prayer."
3. "He was a deep and practical student of the Word of God."
4. "He was a humble man."
5. "His entire freedom from the love of money."
6. "His consuming passion for the salvation of the lost."
7. "He had a very definite enduement with power from on high, a very clear and definite baptism with the Holy Ghost."

So this leads me to a few points to ponder. These seven characteristics, can people say these things of us? Are we really fully surrendered to Christ ready to do whatever, whenever, wherever if He so calls us? I really wonder what would happen if we started to live radical lives like those we love to read about. Can people say of us that they see the love of God in all that we do? We're becoming lukewarm, although we ourselves would never say that. We have this fear of man that we don't even want to talk about Jesus because we're afraid of what the world will think and that's when the devil starts rejoicing. I often think it's time for us to go through some physical persecution to see what our faith is really made of. Are you in a position that God can use you?

"Someday you will read in the papers that D. L. Moody, of East Northfield, is dead. Don't you believe a word of it! At that moment I shall be more alive than I am now, I shall have gone up higher, that is all; out of this old clay tenement into a house that is immortal --- a body that death cannot touch; that sin cannot taint; a body fashioned like unto His glorious body.
I was born of the flesh in 1837. I was born of the Spirit in 1856. That which is born of the flesh may die. That which is born of the Spirit will live forever."
-- D. L. Moody

Refining Fire

Psalm 51:6-12, 17
Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make to know wisdom.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all of mine iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

The refining fires in my life have been getting quite warm, but God is faithful. The purification process is not an easy one but a very necessary one and makes us more like our Master. It's hard to recognize and admit to one's wicked and sinful heart but praise God for the precious blood of Jesus that cleanses us from all unrighteousness. All these challenges are hard to handle at once but need to be dealt with before I do more damage to those around me and harm to myself. Jesus did not say that the Christian life would be all flowers and sunshine, but that's often what I expect. He actually rather promised hard times but in all that, that He would never leave us nor forsake us, ready to carry every burden. It's often like He's asking me, "Can I carry this one too?"

Sorry for my rambling but thanks for reading. God bless!

Quick Update

Well, let's see what's new. Saturday the youth at our church went tubing. Yesterday, after our morning service, us girls had a potluck lunch and some good talks and discussion afterward. In the evening we had a service focused on missions which was really good.

This past week, as good it had been has been very difficult. I've been starting to see so much of my own wickedness and God has just been showing me fault after fault and I feel like screaming "One thing at a time!" I'm trying hard to learn to love, speak words of encouragement that lift up and not tear down, and lots about purity. I'm learning that there is so much more to purity in words, actions, thoughts and all those little things that say so much that we need to be really careful about like our eye language. This week I'm planning on listening to the Godly Courtship series by Denny Kenaston cause there's so much I need to learn and pull together. As hard as much of this pruning is, I know it's good for me and will result in a lot of growing.

So there's a bit about what's going on in my life and if the Spirit leads you I would appreciate everyones prayers as I'm going through this chapter in my life. Blessings!

Requesting Prayer

Psalm 40:1-4
I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.
Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as tun aside to lies.

This really was my song this morning and I had no idea that God would have such an encouragement in store for me when I got up this morning for my quiet time. I guess I'd have to honestly say that I'm currently recuperating from an emotional inner conflict. Although I'm doing much better today (sorry to those girls who I gave a real fright last night), I still do need lots of prayer. I need the Lord's direction and guidance in a particular area of my life right now and I need to accept His answer and say "Yes, Lord." Last week, I felt myself moving away from God because of my refusal to surrender to His will. I know that whatever He asks me to do, that no matter how hard it is, it's what's best. Pray that I would continually wait upon the Lord and be obedient to that still, small voice. I also need to learn to be honest with others and not wear a mask as if everything is always A OK.

Psalm 40:8
I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart.

What's New?

Not much. I'm really excited about our new Sunday school theme on the Holy Spirit. It was actually an answer to prayer. I've been thinking a lot about that lately and have a lot of questions. What does the Holy Spirit really do in a believers life? What happens when an individual or church is totally controlled by the Holy Spirit? What is the evidence of the Spirit's working in one's life? One thing I already learned was that when the Holy Spirit moves, nobody can control what happens. What does it really mean to have a passion and fire for God?

Lately I've been feeling like God is preparing me for something bigger. Whether now or later, or what it is, I don't know. But I do know that whatever it is, it's not going to be easy. Today was where I knew that I really had to say, "Lord, if you want to use me, wherever that may be, I'm ready. Father, send me." I think today's the first time that I actually sincerely meant it. It's much easier said than done, but in the centre of God's will is the best place to be, and there's where the greatest blessing is.

I've been seeing this past week that God might just have a very different plan for me this year than I thought. I see myself doing some sort of missions work, but I always keep thinking not now. I need to finish my schooling first. Maybe God has something for me much sooner than I think. Learning to wait on the Lord.

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he will strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.