What Did I Do?: Masks, Funnel Cake, and Whip Kicks

Well, I'm feeling the hurt of lack of creativity, but I'm trying and learning new things nonetheless.

March 5: Last Wednesday, I saw an interesting snippet in the local newspaper, but it didn't occur to me that it was something new. The next day, I pulled that snippet out of a newspaper and got it drilled in my mind. According to The Aylmer Express, "Daylight Savings Time was originally instituted during the First Great War as a way to save energy in Europe, U.S.A. and Canada. It was cancelled at the end of the war but reinstituted during the Second Great War." I did not know that. I know that I don't mind falling back, but springing forward is a little more difficult to adjust to.

March 6: Although I'm not really into a whole lot of beauty stuff, what do I do on a day I feel under the weather? Pamper myself, of course! So I attempted the facial mask. I had researched some different recipes, many of which seemed pretty straightforward. I found some interesting ones, like the one that used ground coffee and cocoa, but I couldn't justify wasting a 1/4 cup of expensive Hershey's cocoa on my face. Another one that intrigued me was one for acne-prone/acne-scarred skin, which called for a pureed onion. But then it occurred to me that putting pureed onion on my face could become an emotional ordeal. In the end, I settled for grinding up some oatmeal in my Bullet, adding some honey and water. It smelled good. And I confess, I ate some before putting it on my face.

The facial is supposed to tighten your skin, and my skin definitely felt tight with oatmeal drying on it! I won't post pictures of that, because I don't look so good with breakfast on my face. But while I was waiting for 15-20 minutes, I sang this simple song, which has been on my mind a lot lately, and seemed fitting for the occasion.

"I have so many masks to cover up and hide."

Washing all the oatmeal off was a bit tedious, and I found myself thinking "I don't think I'm going to do it this again." But afterwards when I saw and felt how nice my face was, I wasn't so sure anymore. Who knows?

March 7: After my shift at work Saturday, I fried myself a funnel cake. I had never had a funnel cake before, and although we unfortunately didn't have ice cream or berry sauce or any other kind of yummyness to put on it, we did have whipped cream. Oodles of sweet, fatty goodness!

March 8: On Sunday, I saw a video about how to use a seam sipper in a way I didn't know. Not that I sew. In truth, the thought of sewing terrifies me. I would do just about any household chore before trying to sew. But if I do try, the seam ripper has to be handy.

Then I also read an article from which I learned some new things, although it also left me somewhat disturbed and disgusted. In 1951, doctors could take tissue samples from patients and use them for research without the patient's permission. And so, one woman's cells were mass reproduced and sold for research and other medical and scientific discoveries. I had very mixed feelings about the situation, especially when something is taken from a person and turned into a multibillion-dollar industry without their knowledge.

March 9: In my swim class, I tried learning the whip kick. By this I mean there was a whole lot of kicking going on, but I wasn't going much of anywhere. I can almost guarantee people that if they were in a pool with me during one of my lessons, the two phrases they would hear out of my mouth most often would be "I hate this!" and "I can't do this!" Thankfully, I'm not ready to give up. I enjoy it, even when I'm frustrated, can't figure something out, or just don't have the strength and endurance. I do sometimes wonder what people think of me when they see my talking to myself, trying to talk myself through what I'm supposed to do, or should have done before sinking below the surface again. However, I did have a great conversation with the lifeguard afterward, just encouraging each other in our faith, and swimming has been one thing I'm so glad I'm learning.

March 10: Since I would like to learn how to knit and crochet, an article about the history of knitting caught my attention on Knowledge Nuts. It turns out, men used to knit professionally while women weren't allowed. There were guilds that men could get into but it was about as difficult to become a professional knitter as becoming a blacksmith. Only in the Victorian Era did knitting become a hobby dominated by women.

March 11: On Wednesday morning, I was reading in the book of Acts, and in Acts 22, the word "tribune" caught my attention. It occurred to me I didn't know what a tribune was. I held that thought and kept reading, becoming aware of the number of times the words "tribune" or "tribunal" came up. Then I headed to my computer for some research, and I learned more than I initially anticipated.

According to Dictionary.com, one of the definitions of "tribune" is as follows:

" 1. a person who upholds or defends the rights of the people
2. Roman History
a. any of various administrative officers, especially one of 10 officers elected to protect the interests and rights of the plebeians from the patricians
b. any of the six officers of a legion who rotated in commanding the legion during the year."

Between the dictionary and Wikipedia, I learned a number of things. Plebeians were the common body of free Roman citizens, while patricians were the ruling class of ancient Rome. A tribunal was a raised platform where officials would take their seats.

Going back to the text with this knowledge, a lot more made sense now. When the centurion was going to flog Paul in Acts 22:22-30, he called the tribune. It was the tribune's job to intervene on Paul's behalf, a common Roman citizen. This also explains why, when Paul's nephew comes to Paul in the barracks to tell him about the ambush planned against him in Acts 23, Paul asks the centurion to take his nephew to the tribune to speak to him. This tribune was Claudius Lysias. Lysias actually comes on the scene already in Acts 21, but it didn't occur to me then to ask what a tribune was.

There were also military tribunes as mentioned in Acts 25:23. And although I'm not exactly sure what he meant, Paul says he's standing before Caesar's tribunal in Acts 25:10. So I don't know what everything means, but what I learned does give me a better understanding of what's going on in these chapters. I also learned that the barracks referenced in Acts 21-23 when connected to Lysias's cohort, refers to the Tower of Antonia, which was rebuilt by Herod. This tower was located on the northwest side of the temple in Jerusalem.

Isn't it funny how often I can read something over and over again and never really know what it means? Sometimes it's just because I'm too lazy to put the effort into finding out. But I'm glad I'm taking the time this year to put in the effort.

What Did I Do?: Ueberraschung!

Well, I feel like I'm finally getting caught up on things I was behind on and moving ahead. I must say I have been feeling a little computer illiterate trying to adjust to this new piece of technology. As you will no doubt notice, when I'm busy, I'm not very creative with new ideas. It's made even more difficult when I'm left without a computer to research anything on. I also lost part of my idea list, so I have to try to remember some of my ideas.

February 19: I won! 

On Thursday, I won an interesting Facebook challenge posted by my friend Kevin Abell. The prize? This Monroe thermometer. I don't think I've ever won a Facebook conversation before and it's also my first picture with Kevin.

 February 20: According to Knowledge Nuts, people have a false idea of how many rats there are in the world, particularly in big cities. News sources have exaggerated the numbers, saying there are twice as many rats in New York City as there are people, but it's not true. Personally, I think I only ever saw one rat while in NYC, that was running along the subway track. I admit I got pretty excited about it. Maybe it's because of signs like this one that I didn't see more.  Yep, I had to take a picture of one.

February 21: On Saturday, I learned about bed bugs, how to detect them, and identify bed bug bites. I had a bit of a freak out on the weekend, but now I can rest assured I don't have bed bugs.

February 22: On Sunday, I tried eating a kiwi with the skin. I really like kiwi when it's ripe and sweet and I've heard of people eating the whole thing, but the fuzzy skin has never appealed to me. Well, I determined to try it, especially after watching my nephew munch through the skin and explain how healthy it was. I looked at the kiwi before eating it with more contempt than a piece of raw fish. I managed one crunchy sour bite, then sliced it in half and scooped the inside out with a spoon. But now I can say I've tried it. If it had been a little riper, it might have not been so bad.

February 23: I can't wait for the day I can go to the pool in a T-shirt or even a sweater. It's way too cold. But to another swim class I did go, and it was rather grueling. I hadn't been to the pool in two weeks and not having exercised since my last class didn't help. I'm still learning not to drink pool water when I sink. When I came up coughing and sputtering to no end, people stared at me like I almost drowned or something. It reminded me of a similar experience I had a few years ago in the Atlantic Ocean. It was a little traumatic.

I also learned some interesting things about James Dole, "the Pineapple King" who turned the whole Hawaiian island of Lana'i into the world's biggest pineapple plantation. In 1927, he offered a $35,000 cash prize for the winner of an airplane race from California to Hawaii. The conditions were very dangerous. Add that airplanes weren't exactly what they are today and that nobody had ever flown to Hawaii before. Many entered the race but only two actually finished it. Ten people died trying. In the end, the winner shared the prize money with the second contestant to finish, but alas, they weren't the first people to fly to Hawaii. Two army pilots got there before the race started.

So that was tragic and James Dole felt really bad, for good reason. But back in 1913, his company made a machine that peeled 100 pineapples a minute. That's pretty cool. It would take me entirely too long to just peel one. I'm afraid though I might feel a little guilty from now on when I buy Dole pineapples. Not fair.

February 24: You know those annoying parking meters? Well, I found out who came up with that idea. Carl Magee, a U.S. reporter invented the parking meter. He was an interesting man who exposed corruption. However, he also shot and killed a bystander when he got into a fight with a corrupt judge he had just berated in his newspaper. The judge didn't get shot as intended, but someone else did. He was acquitted, however, and when he moved to Oklahoma City, he came up with the idea of the parking meter in 1932, in order to resolve the city's massive parking problem.

February 25: What I'm about to share next should be taken with a grain of salt. I apologize to my readership who won't be able to understand much of what I will share next, and to my Mennonite, Low German speaking readership, I apologize for my horrible spelling. I never did become proficient in reading or writing my mother tongue. Also, I can't use an umlaut, so I have to improvise. And I'm definitely about to become less serious.

I learned a number of new things through an afternoon of browsing a Mennonite cookbook compiled in Mexico. I must say it provided a fair share of amusement to me, a Mennonite born and raised in Canada. Although my roots are in Mexico, I've only been there to visit a handful of times. What made this cookbook particularly interesting was the different German words they use for things. It seems to have a wealth of great recipes if you can figure out how to read and understand them. In all likelihood, this cook book is correct in the German it uses, and the Low German language I'm used to is just so far removed.

Something I have often noticed is that our Low German vocabulary is rather small. We don't seem to have words for a lot of things, or we just take English words and pronounce them to sound German. And there are things that are just different between German and Low German. Well, to understand this cookbook, I think you needed to be proficient in German, Low German, English, Spanish and possess some imagination. It also seemed they have some food products in Mexcio that we don't have in Canada, or perhaps we just couldn't understand them. There were a number of canned milks that showed up in recipes, but we could only figure out evaporated milk for certain.

My favourite word I learned was ueberraschung, which means surprise. This was through a recipe for Schokoladenueberraschung. To learn that ueberraschung meant surprise was a surprise! I didn't know we had a word for surprise! Maybe if someone had thrown me an "ueberraschung geburtstag fest" when I was a kid, I would know this stuff! I also think the word sounds an awful lot like our Low German word for "backwards", but maybe that's just me.

We figured out that plaetzchen are cookies and kuchen is cake. To me, kuchen means cookies and cake is cake. And we figured out that kekse are cupcakes. Karrotten Kuchen is carrot cake, but I say "gelmehren." We eventually determined zimt meant cinnamon, since it was in with recipes for Cinnamon Rolls. At home, that's still just koernel rollen to me. When providing instructions for icing cookies or cakes, it uses the word "streiche", oba ekj do kuchen beschmeiren. Schokoladenschnitzel are chocolate chips. I get the chocolate part, but to me schnitzel is milanesa.


One of the ones that had us stumped for awhile was Schlagsahne, which we finally concluded was whipping cream, or whipped cream. To me, cream is Schmaunt, and if I'm reading a German recipe, it's Rahm. This made me wonder, if whipping cream is Schlagsahne, then what do they call Schmauntfaht? There are a lot more examples, but I simply can't write about them all.

Ah, yes, we Mennonites are a unique people with a unique language, and we could argue with no end about words and pronunciations! With this cookbook, the nice thing is if you need clarification on a recipe, it not only provides the name of the woman who submitted the recipe, but also her Campo number, phone number, and husband's name if applicable.

In the end, what is my conclusion to this matter? Dit es bloss nicht wo wie dat gelieht han!

And for the song I was singing constantly this week.

"If you wanna know how far My love can go
Just how deep, just how wide
If you wanna see how much you mean to Me
Look at My hands, look at My side
If you could count the times I'd say you are forgiven
It's more than the drops in the ocean." --"Drops in the Ocean" by Hawk Nelson

Jesus Loves Me

I just had a horrible week.  I was miserable, and then I finally snapped.  I'm not going into the details here.  Quite frankly, I'm not comfortable with being that transparent right now.  But by the end of the week, I had done everything from beat myself up, battled fears, hated myself, and been extremely angry and screaming inside.  And I just had to cry to let some of it out.  Yep, when I become miserable, it's bad.  And usually when I'm miserable, I don't write publicly, but today I am.  I'm rarely daring enough to be this real, or I think my life is too messed up to share anything.

I can point to the source of a lot of my misery.  Giving into temptations, the school course that is filled with so much I would normally never consume that changes the way I think and feel (that makes me curse inside, even if I wouldn't say it out loud), the pressure of trying to make my plans happen, the frustrations of trying to manage my small income when I have huge expenses, and wondering if I can make it all work out.  Trying so hard to remain in control of my life, and realizing I just can't do it.

There is one thing that keeps me going, aside from a handful of people praying for me, is carrying me through this.  Just one simple truth.  Jesus loves me.  No matter what happens, what I go through, and what I face, Jesus loves me.  On the days I know I deserve anything but His love, Jesus loves me.  His love is deep, strong, and unchanging.  It remains firm.  His love and faithfulness is all I can bank on when it feels like everything is falling apart.

I don't know what this coming week holds, the rest of this year, or next year.  But I know what I'm holding on to.  Jesus loves me.  It's all I got.

Confessions of an Aspiring Hermit

Last month, I came home from serving in NY, and as great as it always is, I must confess something unusual happens to me when I come home.  I crash and become depressed.  There, I said it.

I haven't been able to completely understands why this happens to me.  It seems to vary depending on the circumstances that are present in my life at the time.  But when I come home from serving, I have often become depressed, self-absorbed, crabby, and no good to be around.  I have spent weeks giving of myself, from the time I get up, to the time I go to bed, and now suddenly, I don't want to.  I don't want to give of myself anymore.  I don't want to sacrifice for other people.  I want to be left alone, to myself, and do my own thing.

Again, it seems to vary based on circumstances.  I come home to no job, therefore I find I have little motivation to get up in the morning.  Without what I perceive to be a meaningful way to give of myself, I become very unmotivated and selfish.  Yes, there's my family, but sadly I have discovered that it's often a lot easier to give selflessly somewhere else than it is at home.  No, it shouldn't be this way, but that's often how I become.

So in my depressed, unmotivated state, I come up with a grand, noble idea.  I'll become a hermit!

 

Noooo! I don't want to be a crab!

Wait a minute.  Did I say before I was crabby?  Uh, yeah, about that..... 

A hermit.  I want to be a hermit.  Since I don't want to go anywhere or do anything or see or talk to anyone, I'll just stay at home.  I'll take the opportunity to read, and study, and spend time with Jesus, and it's gonna be wonderful!  If I don't go anywhere and don't talk to anyone, I won't hurt anybody and nobody will hurt me.  I will keep to myself, learn and blossom in knowledge and in my relationship with the Lord in the parameters of my two rooms.  Oh, just the thought is almost bliss!  What could possibly be wrong with this?

Here's my confession though.  I have never been a happy hermit.  At least not for very long.  Every time I set out to be a hermit, the excitement is short-lived.  But instead of simply becoming sociable again, a raging war ensues.  You see, when I make up my mind to become a hermit, it's hard to persuade myself to get out of my shell, even after I know I won't be happy in it.  I mean, it can be hard to get out.  My mind can conjure up so many great excuses, that I can make sound very legitimate, why it's best to stay home.  Alone.  I become almost like Gollum and Smeagol, arguing with myself.  I can spit out lists of things I could do, time, finances, health, or other clever things depending on the situation.  But deep down I know.  This isn't for my long-term good.

"No man is an island."  Ah yes, one of the famous quotes we learn in school.  It's true.  As much as I would like to convince myself I could live a happy life as a hermit, I need people.  There is a risk in opening ourselves up to people, true.  But it is needful.  We need community.  Bad things often happen to people who shut others out.

As the body of Christ, we need each other, the church.  We need people to come alongside us and lift us up when we're weary.  And instead of just focusing on ourselves, we also need to be there for others when they are down and weary.  We are meant to bear each others' burdens and encourage each other in our race on earth.  When I get into my depressed, hermit-like mood, I have to remind myself of Proverbs 18:1.  "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment."  Isolating ones self from other people is not wise. 

Tenth Avenue North recently released a song that speaks on this matter.

So take their words to heart.  We're not meant to live this life alone.

Praying for Your Man

The girls in my youth group are going through a book study again, and one of the first things we were reminded of is the importance of praying for our future husbands.  Now, this was no new concept to me.  I've been doing it for years.  But it's something some girls do struggle with, or don't think of doing, so I will write about my experience.  (And yes, I am still single.  I have not seen my prayers fulfilled, but I know God is in the process of answering.)

For some, praying for a person you don't know is kind of weird.  Yeah.  That was probably the biggest struggle I faced when I started.  How do I pray for someone if I don't even know who he is, or don't know what's going on in his life?  The wonderful thing is, you may not know who you will marry, or what's going on in that man's life, but God does, and He cares about this area of your life.

You may not know the specifics of what is going on his life, but you can still pray.  You can start by praying that He would follow after God whole-heartedly. You can pray that he would be a man of the Word and a man of prayer.  What kind of character qualities do you want to see in him?  Pray that He will grow in those areas.  Do you want him to be part of a ministry or serving in an area of the church?  Pray for that. Pray that he would walk in purity, that he would flee from temptation and youthful lusts, that he would keep his heart, mind and body for you.  Pray that he would cut off sin from in his life and walk in holiness. Pray that God would use him in his single years for His service and glory.

Pray that God would direct his heart to you and have wisdom as to when and how to initiate and lead your relationship.  Pray that God would prepare him to be the spiritual leader and provider for your home, that he would have wisdom in raising your children when God so blesses you.  It's probably also wise to pray that your parents and other counselors in your life would have the wisdom to help you discern God's best for you, and allow yourself to be open to their counsel.  

Now, remember, this isn't all about who you want your husband to be.  Chances are you have lofty dreams of this man and, if you're smart, you're praying about some great and amazing things for him.  I know I do.  But if you want to marry Mr. Awesome, you have to be a woman suitable for him.  So instead of just praying for him, pray that God will prepare you to be the woman, the help meet that he needs.  Keep yourself pure, and conduct yourself in a way that would be pleasing to your husband if he was watching you.  Honour him, even now, with your life.  And keep yourself busy and productive, serving the Lord and others while you wait for God to bring you together.

I have prayed about all these aspects at some time or other, and most on a very regular basis.  I admit though that there are still times when I definitely feel stuck.  What do I pray for?  How do I pray about this man?  Sometimes I feel like I say the same thing over and over.  One of the things I have done at times is ask God how He wants me to pray for my future husband.  I ask God to lead me as I pray.  Something changes in the way I prayed when I do that.  At times, I don't understand why I am asking God for the things I am, but I trust it's His leading.  One day, the purpose of it all will be revealed to me.

It could also be that as you pray for your future husband, or ask God to lead you, that you will start praying in a way you don't necessarily understand.  You may start praying for qualities you otherwise didn't consider.  It may be that God will guide you to pray about someone specifically.  I don't know how God moves in everyone's prayer times.  I don't know what He will do when you seek His direction in this area.  But I encourage you to pray boldly, persistently, and daily about this area of your life.  When you marry the man you're praying for, you will enter into a covenant that is a representation of Christ's relationship with His church.  That's not something to take lightly, and thus, it's something to pray about diligently.

Some who will read this post will certainly be familiar with the song "Faithfully" by Eric and Leslie Ludy.  The idea of waiting faithfully is not a very popular one in our world.  Many may not understand why you're giving up pleasure now for something they don't believe exists, or why you're praying for someone if you don't even know who he is.  Listen to this song.  It may give you an ache in your heart, but I also hope that you will take the words to heart and commit to faithfully waiting and praying for your man.

Adam Young: Music and Blog

Today I reveal another one of my secrets.  That is, my enjoyment of Adam Young's music and blog.  Owl City, for those of you who don't recognize the name.  There, I said it.  I don't doubt some of my readers will be surprised at my interest in his genre of music (electro pop), but truth be told, it is just SO MUCH FUN!!!  It has a happiness effect.  Yes, I know there are many starry-eyed girls out there who dream of marrying him, but rest assured, I am NOT one of them.

Adam's music is hard to describe.  It's like he lives in a totally different world.  His imagination is simply incredible!  His lyrics range from fun, romantic, colourful, thoughtful, intense, to just plain cute and sweet!  Sure, half of his lines don't make any sense, but that makes it all the more fun!

I can't remember when I was first introduced to Owl City, but I'm guessing it was likely when "Fireflies" became a hit.  Shortly thereafter, I was surprised to discover that the singer, Adam Young, was a Christian!  The only song on his album "Ocean Eyes" that reflected his faith was "Meteor Shower."  His new album "All Things Bright and Beautiful" reflects his faith much more, which disappointed many of his fans, but I for one loved it.  The most overtly Christian, and probably also my favourite song on his recent album is "Galaxies."  The song is actually about Adam's perspective of the 1986 space shuttle Challenger explosion, and he also has an introduction fitting for it.  He also does a beautiful cover of the hymn "In Christ Alone".  I could write brief commentaries on almost all his songs, but then this would get entirely too long.

I've also been following Adam's blog.  Did I mention he was an excellent writer?  His blog displays his imagination and creativity as much as his music.  Being an extreme introvert, he shared an article a few months back called "10 Myths About Introverts."  Almost everything in that article describes me.  I loved it!  He writes romantic little stories like "I'll See You in My Dreams" and "I'll Follow You" that will make any girl's heart flutter.  He also writes about his trusting God to be bring that special girl into his life.  I was so encouraged by the following words at the end of his article "Sharks Keep Moving":

"Above and beyond all of this, I take great joy and comfort in knowing my Savior has it all blueprinted and planned down to the tiniest detail, and that my job isn’t to blubber and worry about the design — but to hush. To be concerned with the principles of morality, servanthood, discipleship and character, and ultimately, to trust.
For what is faith without trust?"

I've also appreciated his more devotional like posts, where he shares his insights on scripture and also his recent thoughts on John Piper's book Desiring God.  It made me want to read that book again.

Christians have varying thoughts on Owl City, but there's much I have learned and appreciated through him.  I think he sees beauty in this world that we often miss and he knows how to capture it and put it into words.  Sometimes that means it doesn't make any real sense, but it places in me a sense of wonder and awe.  I'm inspired to dream and use my God-given imagination and open my eyes to the beauty around me.  And, well, like I said, it's fun and makes me happy! :)

Let's Not Talk About That

Have you ever been in a Christian meeting or study where the leader has asked if anyone has input or questions and the silence is so thick you're afraid to breathe?  It's hard to believe after what you've just heard nobody has anything to say.  Were they even listening?

They're all doing the same thing you are.  Listening to their heart pound as they turn around that one thought they wouldn't dare ever say out loud.  Everybody's afraid.  Scared about what other people will think.  Embarrassed. Ashamed.

I've noticed something as of late.  I've read or looked at books and endless resources for Christian youth and singles and there are certain issues that are evidently big problems within the church, but I have rarely, if ever, heard them spoken of in person, face to face.  Why is this?

One thing I do know is that we are all humans born with very much the same tendencies.  No problems are new, unique, or limited to certain groups of people.  But there are certain things we shrink away from, avoid and simply hope for the best. 

We all know these problems exist in the world and in the church, but we don't talk about them.  Do we simply hope that our teens or youth don't have problems with these things?  Do we think that our church or group is better than all the rest?  Are we afraid simply because it's uncomfortable and you might have to say words you nearly blush to think about?  Why do we stay quiet about certain issues? 

All people, not just young people, have questions about a whole host of subjects but everyone's afraid.  Afraid to stand out.  Afraid of what people think.  Afraid of being vulnerable.  Afraid of what would happen if anyone knew.  So we protect our questions and secrets, bind them up with chains of steel and ache alone.

I love Tenth Avenue North's song Healing Begins.  But it also often makes me uncomfortable because it's so true and frightening.  In this video journal of the song, lead singer Mike Donehey talks about how confessing something to God is easy, but having to tell someone else freaks us out.  People scare us a lot more than God does. 

The truth is though, keeping things quiet doesn't fix anything.  Knowing something you're doing is wrong doesn't fix anything.  It's only when you start talking about downright scary stuff though that people can find freedom and healing.  And nobody's ready for that.

Laura Story - Blessings

In times of loss and grief, life is difficult to understand. God is hard to understand. This song articulates our pain, but it also offers hope. In our trials, we must believe that God has a plan, and a good one at that.

They'll Call Me Freedom

There are certain songs that somehow have a way of touching my heart and then I tend to want to write about them. I wrote an article like this last year on the song "Where is the Love?" and you can read that first if you so wish. Lately, the song that I've really been pondering is Wavin' Flag by K'naan. There has been different mixes of this song for the World Cup, but I'm talking about the original album version, which you can listen to in the previous link. And yes, I encourage you to listen to the song before you read this post.

Every time I hear this song, I can't help but feel that it was written out of experience. When I looked K'naan up, sure enough, he grew up in Somali during the Somali Civil War before he later moved to a Somali community in Toronto with his family. Although I couldn't find any solid information as to the story behind the song, I believe it is deeply rooted in personal experience.

The song starts off with the following lyrics:

"When I get older, I will be stronger
They'll call me freedom, just like a wavin' flag."

Right off, you catch sight of a dream. The dream of a child longing for strength and freedom. Somehow I can imagine a boy watching a flag blowing in the wind and longing to be free like it. He knows there's more in the world than his present state of weakness and longs for it. He has even put a new name to himself: Freedom.

"Born to a throne, stronger than Rome
A violent prone, poor people zone
But it's my home, all I have known
Where I got grown, streets we would roam

Out of the darkness, I came the farthest
Among the hardest survival
Learn from these streets, it can be bleak
Accept no defeat, surrender, retreat

So we're struggling, fighting to eat
And we're wondering when we'll be free
So we patiently wait for that faithful day
It's not far away, but for now we say"

What I absolutely love about this song is that even in the midst of their poverty and oppression, they're still holding on to hope. There's no indication that they're giving up or resigning themselves to this idea that this is the way life will always be for them. They know that freedom is possible. There are other songs that open to us the reality of suffering like James Blunt's "No Bravery" but they don't all offer hope like this one does. What is their hope? I believe to some extent, we are. We can help give them that freedom if we so choose.

"So many wars, settling scores
Bringing us promises, leaving us poor
I hear them say "Love is the way"
"Love is the answer," that's what they say

But look how they treat us, make us believers
We fight their battles, then they deceive us
Try to control us, they couldn't hold us
'Cause we just move forward like Buffalo Soldiers."

In our comfortable North American society, we are pretty sheltered from the bondage so many people find themselves in. They live in poverty, are forced to fight in wars, struggle to eat to stay alive, fighting disease and so forth. Many of these stark realities don't make it to the top of Yahoo News. That spot is saved for the latest article of how bad a celebrity looked in the dress she wore to an event. When we do hear of these things though, we try to shut them out because it's quite uncomfortable.

The fact is, suffering is real and as Christians, we can't sit back and do nothing about it. I'm not even going to pretend to be the right person to talk about this issue. I don't know how to end the suffering in this world and thinking about it isn't going to do a thing. The further I go in life though, the more I know that I need to do something.

Sometimes I think I need to go somewhere else to make a difference. That simply isn't true. There are people that are going out that need our support in the form of prayers, finances and practical aid. In America, we can so easily waste so much money without a second thought. But add up some of those small expenditures and you will be surprised how much you're really spending.

In October I started a budgeting plan and began to record every dollar I spent. Yes, I wrote down every coffee, smoothie and pastry purchased as well as money spent eating out. In October, I spent about $43.00 on eating out and snack food combined. Close to $25 was spent on recreation. In November, I again spent close to $40 on snack food and eating out.

Now if you go to Thirst Relief, you discover that a donation of $5 can provide a long-term clean drinking water solution for one person. That means that because of your donation, somebody (likely a child) in a third-world country doesn't have to die because of a contaminated water related disease. I know that one life doesn't sound like much, but what if I take those $40 I carelessly spent over the course of a month and donated it for a year, I would have saved $480 and in turn impacted nearly 100 lives.

Now, $40 does sound like a lot of money, but say you only donated $10 a month. You have still saved 24 lives for just a small sacrifice. So what if you don't get your Timmies coffee, fancy Starbucks drink or go to see every latest movie? You can make that coffee at home for like 5 or 10 cents and rent the movie later for cheaper. The fact is, you have helped someone else in desperate need.

Jesus said in Matthew 10:42 "And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is my disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward." (ESV)

I may not be able to put an end to the suffering described in "Wavin' Flag." I may not be able to end modern-day slavery, feed every hungry child or care for every orphan. But by small sacrifices, that really aren't sacrifices at all, I can make a difference in the life of someone else. And if I can encourage others to do the same, we can multiply that impact.

"When I get older, I will be stronger
They'll call me freedom, just like a wavin' flag."

Let's go give somebody back their freedom!

What is My Cry?

Last week one day, I hopped into my sister's car to make a quick trip to the store, as I needed a few things to make supper.  I could have walked, had it not been for the rain.  I turned on the engine and the radio came on with it.  What I heard were the final stanzas of a secular song that I hadn't heard in years.  And I must say they hit me hard.  Now, I stopped listening to secular music a long time ago, but I clearly remembered this song.  Just to make things clear, I still generally don't listen to secular music, nor do I encourage it.  However, that night, after trying to place the title of the song, I looked it up.  The song is "Where is the Love?" by the Black Eyed Peas.  When I listened to this song again, I found myself wondering, "Why isn't this the cry of the Church?  Christians could really learn a lot from this song!"  Pretty sad, isn't it?  (By the Church, I am referring to the body of believers around the world as a whole, but I guess my thoughts pertain more to the North American church.)

"Where is the Love?" is a song that really speaks about the injustice of the world we live in, and throughout this post, I'll be quoting various lyrics from the song.  The chorus of this song probably has the strongest Christian tone, although I don't think it was written from that viewpoint:

"People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?"

I think here we already fail.  The world around is lost, dying, and crying out and yet it seems like we fail to hear.  How often doesn't our walk contradict our talk?  How often don't we rather want to get even than turn the other cheek?  The song also speaks of how we discriminate and the things it leads to.  There are many lines that divide Christians, although God never intended it that way, and we often tend to be critical of others, Christians and non-Christians alike.  I must confess that I fall very short on all of these matters, and it should not be so. 

Why isn't this the cry of the Church?

"So I can ask myself really what is going wrong
With this world that we living in
People keep on giving in
Makin wrong decisions
Only visions of them livin and
Not respecting each other
Deny thy brother
The wars' going on but the reasons' undercover
The truth is kept secret
Swept under the rug
If you never know truth
Then you never know love"

And all too often, we give into the pressure around us, fail to stand our ground and rather compromise our convictions, make decisions we know are wrong, have a vision that only includes ourselves, and we bear lies and do all we can to cover up the truth.  But until truth, God's Truth is brought out, applied and lived out, we'll never get anywhere.

Why isn't this the cry of the Church?

"Most of us only care about money makin
Selfishness got us followin the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting their young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what the see in the cinema
Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love, we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity"

Sadly, we often see in the lives of Christians a strong desire for the gain of material wealth.  There is nothing wrong with money, and if God has blessed you financially, praise Him for it.  But also use it in a God-honouring way.  The Bible speaks way too much about giving to justify hoarding everything you make.  Many of us live self-serving lives.  I myself having realized lately how self-serving my life has become, how I think I should have it this way, have that, be able to do that, having special privileges and exemptions.  But this is far from what the Christian life is all about.  It's a life of service and sacrifice.  That's what we have been called to.

Why isn't this the cry of the Church?

Media is a subject all of its own.  We are surrounded by it: magazines, billboards, radio, music, television, movies, internet and the list goes on.  We live in a world that screams sex; live for yourself; if it feels good, do it; if you've been wronged, get even; you deserve more than you have; you need more to make you happy and this list goes on.  This is an area that I have a strong opinion on, because I've learned from experience and still feel the effects all the time.  Growing up, I listened to all the secular music, watched all the TV shows and movies, and just soaked it all in.  When I became a Christian, entertainment was one of the hardest things for me to break free from.  I knew most of it was ungodly (evil, really) and that it had a very negative influence on my life.  I would erase many things from my memory if I could, and all the years of entertainment is one of them.  I still have lines and images coming back to me all the time, often at random times as I go about my day and I hate it.  So yes, I can definitely say, media is a big problem in our society, and it does ruin children.  I'm not against these various forms of media in themselves and I still watch movies and such sometimes, but I'm careful about my choices.

Why isn't this the cry of the Church?

What happened to the values of humanity?  How about what happened to the values of Christianity?  Our society is in rapid moral decline, but so is the Church.  As we see all the things that are wrong in this world, are we setting a different example?  Many are not.  But God's call for our lives is a set-apart, sanctified one that is distinctly different from the lives the world leads.  Many Christians and churches nowadays are doing things in order to attract unbelievers or be culturally relevant.  However, I don't believe this is biblical.  I read a book this year called Unfashionable: Making a Difference in the World by Being Different by Tullian Tchividjian, which I would definitely recommend.  I was surprised to learn that non-believers that are seeking are actually not attracted by Christians who take part in many of the same or similar things the world does, by rather repelled: "serious seekers today aren't looking for something appealing and trendy.  They're looking for something deeper than what's currently in fashion." (p.9)  In other words, if they want their life to change, they will want a complete turnaround, not just "Christianized" versions of what they already have.  Tullian also included a reader's response to a magazine article about modern churches trying to reach people by “fitting in”, and a portion reads as follows:

"I can't stand the phoniness, or trendiness, or sameness--or whatever I'm trying to say here--that the church seems to catch onto at the tail, not even aware of how lame it is....It makes me want to throw up.  It's buying into some kind of lie or substitution of cool culture as being relevant when it isn't." (p.16)

There's more to that where she describes the kind of Christians she can't stand, but I think we can say the world has spoken.  The world wants change too, but we often fail to deliver. And we definitely aren't always the best examples of love and unity.

I never would have thought I could learn so much from a secular song. I never would have thought that it would bring out so many problems in the modern church or areas of my life that needed to change. But the more I think and talk about this, the more I see how wrong I really am. I've asked the question “Why isn't this the cry of the Church?” But what it really comes down to is “Why isn't this my cry, or rather, what is my cry?” The more I look at the Word of God and learn about what it means to follow Jesus, the more I see how very far away I am. I can only point to myself. Nor is what I have thought about and said here enough. No head knowledge is worth anything until it is put into practice and lived out. My earnest prayer and desire is that I would not just think and talk about things, but actually do something; not look at anyone else, but to myself and how far I fall short, because before I can do that, I will not see change. May this be the earnest desire and prayer of each and every one of us. Blessings to you!

And my sincere apologies for making this so long, although I could have said much more.

Letting Go

Last night, I came home tired, but not too tired. I was more than ready to shower, settle down in my pajamas under my blankets with a hot cup of rooibos tea and focus on God. These last few days have been hard and wonderful at the same time. I'm learning to let go and be broken. Some of you may know what that feels like.

I was reading yesterday in Ezekiel and a little part of a verse stuck out to me. It wasn't particularly in the context it was in, but it still spoke to me nonetheless: Behold, when it was whole, it was meet for no work. So from this, I know that until I am cut down and broken, I am of no use. I think also of the seed. Unless it falls into the ground and dies, it abideth alone. But once it dies, then it begins to grow.

Matthew 13: 45, 46
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls:
Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.

Jesus is that pearl of great price. He costs us everything, but He is more than worth the price. I want my life to reflect these verses. I want to like Mary, choose that good part, which will not be taken away from me. (See Luke 10: 41,42) People can take so much away from us: our house, car, possessions, jobs, family, friends, food, clothing, but they cannot take Jesus away from us. While we only have things here for a time, we always have Jesus.

Like Jim Elliot, I want to give up what I cannot keep to gain that which I cannot lose. Why would I hold on to something now, when I can see that one day, it will be taken away from me, with much pain. Why not just let go now, and gain so much more.

I find myself repeating the words of the song Cry for Humility by Christ our Life:

I will worship in Spirit and in Truth
Teach me discipline, to meditate on You
You gave up Your life, I must give my all to You
Remove the veil so I can see

God bless you all and have a wonderful week.

God is Working

It's been almost a week since I last posted...it feels like yesterday. This week has gone by much faster than I initially anticipated. I know my posts haven't had very much in them lately but that doesn't mean my life is boring right now. Completely the opposite, actually. God has been doing a marvelous work in my life. It's not easy, but He's with us even through the fiery trials. I'm learning so much and He speaks to me in such everyday ordinary things if I'm willing to listen and learn. I'm learning not to get distracted in my life but rather to focus on the task at hand; serving my Lord and Saviour where He has placed me right now. Otherwise the results may not be so good at all. I hardly know what to say...words don't do justice what I've been learning and God's marvelous works in my life, even if I tried to explain.

The last few weeks I've often gone back to the Psalms for words of strength and encouragement.

Psalm 63:7, 8
Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.
My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.

One day I randomly turned to Psalm 60 and something caught my attention:
Psalm 60: 9-12
Who will bring me into the strong city? who will lead me into Edom?
Wilt not thou, O God, which hadst cast us off? and thou, O God, which didst not go out with our armies?
Give us help from trouble: for vain is the help of man.
Through God we shall do valiantly: for he it is that shall tread down our enemies.

Isn't that amazing! It reminds me of Job.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
-Selah, Before the Throne of God Above

God bless you and keep you. Give Him praise.

Broken Pieces

Well, these last few weeks I've been torn apart and heartbroken and now I'm just a bunch of broken pieces. It really hurts but then I realized, Hey, I'm at a place now that God can work with me and that's exciting. And an amazing work that He's doing! He's teaching me so much that I can hardly take it all in at once. I find that I can't just lean on Jesus but I need to completely throw myself on Him. He is good, merciful, and faithful even when I'm not.

Our youth held a free car wash for the community on Saturday and we found out that's a great way to shock people...an absolutely free car wash. We had rain on and off but I still managed to get a sunburn but it was good.

I know I'm not worthy of God's love but I praise and thank Him for it every day.

And I'll stand in awe of You,
Yes I'll stand in awe of You,
And I'll let my words be few-
Jesus I am so in love with You.
-Matt Redman

May this be our song each day. And if it isn't real in our life, then lets make it real. Glory be unto Jesus.

Turning...

Well, I was going to share something really exciting but God seems to be saying "No." Rather I need to reassess my priorities. I've known for awhile that it needs to be done but I waited until I heard it from someone else and then it hit hard. (Thanks Kade.) You see, I waste a lot of my time and it's mostly wasted on the computer. As a result, I'm not accomplishing anything nor am I productive in the work God has set before me. I've been very encouraged by blogging and reading all your blogs. I've been blessed and I've learned a lot but I'm not putting any of it to practice in my life. I'm a hypocrite, making myself look like somebody that I'm not, and my walk is far from my talk. So, I must apologize and ask for everyone's forgiveness.

Chances are, I'm not going to posting as frequently as I would like to for awhile. I hope to get a post in once a week as the Lord permits, but we'll see what happens. If the Spirit lays it on your heart, please do pray for me as I continue to pray for all of you.
And part of a song.
"Heal me
Heal these eyes
Heal this heart
Heal my mind
Breathe your breath of life
Heal me
Wake my soul
From this sleep
Give me back the joy
Of when I first believed
Heal me."
-Aaron Jeoffrey, Heal Me

Until next time, God bless you richly. Your all in prayers.
"Your actions are shouting so loud I can hardly hear what you're saying."