Spring Brings New Life....In a Messy Sort of Way

In the past couple weeks, my life has taken me on a journey of highs and lows. Although most people would never know what I've all been processing and what's been happening, there has been a process of breaking and healing happening. And it feels strangely reminiscent of former years. It seems so often that this time of year for me is a time of painful growth. And then I looked outside and found that my life inside is strangely reminiscent of the world outside.

Spring is coming! There's hope. The freezing winter temperatures are giving way to numbers above zero! It's so exciting. And I look forward to sunshine, warm weather, robins, daffodils, the beach. But today when I look outside, it's kind of yuck. You see, spring doesn't come overnight and the process often leaves things a little messy. As temperatures rise, the snow melts and the white picturesque landscape gives way to one a little less picturesque. Mounds and drifts of snow that were once glistening white get dirty as they shrink and melt away. Patches of exposed earth reveal mud, debris, and dead grass. Nighttime brings in fog and thick mists that last into the afternoon, making very little distinguishable in the distance. Winter was beautiful and summer will be too, but for awhile things look a little dreary and gross. Ah, this is so reminiscent of what has happened in my spiritual life so many times.

The weather as it is now makes for great maple syrup weather. With freezing temperatures at night and single digits warm during the day, the sap is running. But in order for that sap to become the rich, amber syrup I pour on my pancakes, it has to go through a long refining process. The sap is greatly reduced and purified as it's boiled down more and more. Ah, this too, is reminiscent of my life.

As I reflect on the last eight years of my life, the spring months have often been difficult. They have also often been seasons of growth, seasons where I have drawn closer to God, or gotten to know His love more deeply. They have been seasons where the direction of my life has taken a dramatic change. I have left one path to take another people couldn't understand. I have wrestled with God, as He broke my will, brought me to confession, repentance, and painful obedience. I have been in such dark, deep valleys I wished I could just go home to be with Jesus instead of face what was ahead. They have been times of physical illness or spiritual healing as I worked through deep pain and brokenness. They have been seasons like the one I see outside right now. The ice and snow melting away to reveal an ugliness I would much rather keep blanketed in white.

And it has been in these times where I have gotten to know God more. These times happen at other times of the year, not just the spring months. The times I get to know the Father that loves, cherishes and holds me, the One who chastens me because of the depths of His love for me, and breaks me so He can clean and heal the wounds. I get to know Jesus more, the Lover and Prince Who pursues me relentlessly, and wants to take me as His bride. I learn to understand the Spirit, that the conviction I often experience is evidence that I am indeed a child of God, and that He does not ask something of me without giving the comfort, peace and strength to do it. I get to know the God who breaks me and heals me, gently asks me to face the pain, not to hurt me, but because He desperately wants to use it for good. 

It's times, like the moments in the last few weeks that I feel God in a way I can't explain, even when I'm not doing anything normally considered spiritual. It's in the moments that I sense He is moving and saying something, even if I can't understand what it is. It's in the moments, my joy turns to tears because of what I feel inside...He's there. The time I look outside and see the melting snow creating pools and streams, the fog that clouds everything over, and I know this is what it's like. This is what it's often like when God moves and does something new. Sometimes it gets ugly and messy and we have to face a lot of uncomfortable stuff, and things are cloudy and for awhile we can't see clearly what's in front of us. It's when I think of the maple trees and how the sap has to be refined and I see, this is what the Christian life is like. Or just the moments I smile when I see a little girl with Down Syndrome delightedly licking away at a giant swirly lollipop (the kind most parents can't stand) and I feel like I see Jesus.

Can we hold on to these moments? The moments God speaks and brings new life, the moments He shows us His love, or the way He reveals things to us in the simple, everyday things, or the changing of the seasons?

And I think how in just a few weeks the church will celebrate the death, burial, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus, wherein lies our salvation, our hope of eternal life. We always celebrate in spring, amid all the symbols of new life. In spring, we celebrate the New Life that He came to give. And when it happened, it was a messy Spring. It was an agonizing spring that brought that new life, the hardest Jesus had to endure. The grief that made Him drip blood like sweat. The brutal torture he endured. The death He died on a cross as He bore the sin of man and the wrath of God. The darkness that covered the earth as men feared and trembled. The three silent days when those who loved Him feared hope was lost.

Then in one moment. The empty tomb. The shed grave clothes. NEW LIFE!

 But oh, it was a messy Spring.

In order for life to happen, things often get messy first, or downright painful. We see it in nature, in the changing of the seasons, and in the cross. Any mother that has ever given birth can certainly testify to this truth as well. But following the pain, that baby takes it's first breath and utters a cry....and it's beautiful.

Right now things look somewhat dreary and messy outside. But the days are coming where the grass will be thick and lush, the flowers will bloom, the trees will bud, and the robins will sing. And God desires to do the same things in our lives, to bring life and healing out of darkness and pain, to make beautiful what is dirty and messy now.

This is what God does. He brings new life in messy ways. And sometimes we have to wrestle with Him to get it.

"When we get so close to God in our wrestling that He breathes on us, life happens." --Trudy Metzger

Why We Remember

Today is one of those special days in every year, when people all around, both young and old come together to commemorate the sacrifice of the men and women who have fought for our nation. This morning, the parking on the street in front of our store was blocked off for the gathering at the cenotaph, of which I happened to have a good view. Prior to the 11:00, cadets walked around handing out poppies. I wonder about these young men in uniform and their dedication, their hearts already turned towards the good of their nation. As I watched officers march, and even young scouts, I was reminded of the men and women who still serve today.

The high school band assembles and strains of beloved hymns such as "Onward Christian Soldiers" (which we sing together later on along with our national anthem) and "Abide With Me" echo through the town. Young children, possibly from a school gather as well to witness this special service. It's a touching sight and I too step out of our store alongside many spectators.

It's a wonder how certain things, certain dates even, bring people together with one common purpose in mind. Days when life isn't about yourself, when we recognize and honour the sacrifice of men, women, and families. Times when we come together to recognize a Power greater than mankind. This morning I watched people come together and listen with solemnity and respect as Scripture was read out of Ephesians 6 and a minister spoke about putting on the full armour of God and prayers were offered for those who continue to serve our nation. This was not a sight you see in public every day, and was not politically correct, but what a blessing! It was a good reminder that war still exists, not just overseas, but we're all fighting in this spiritual war, one that is not against flesh and blood, and as Christian soldiers, we must continue to fight.

Today is not the only day people come together for such occasions. 9/11, a tragedy that our generation witnessed, is another such day that, when people gather to mourn the loss of loved ones and honour the sacrifice of the thousands of rescue workers. It's beautiful to see pain bringing people together.

Will there be more such days? Today we commemorate the end of one war. Will there be a day when we commemorate the end of all war? I know we will, but it will not be around a cenotaph. It will be around the throne of God, where He will wipe away all our tears, and war will be no more.

Blessed Spring Life

Life during this month has been nothing short of interesting. It has been full of joyful delight and anticipation. However, it has also been accompanied by a cold/cough that doesn't want to go away and concerns about life. It seems to be much in tune with the weather; some days we enjoy radiant, warm sunshine while others bring to us cold winds and rain.

My life could at present be described as an array of loose puzzle pieces, waiting to be fit together into a beautiful masterpiece. (I feel that God does want to make a beautiful masterpiece of my life.) They just seem to be having a difficult time finding each other.

I'm excited about getting some more hours at my job. I'm looking forward to doing some extra stuff on the side, like improving my writing skills and hopefully planting some flowers and a vegetable garden soon. I'm excited about the prospect of being able to get out more, cleaning up the yard, going for walks, taking out my bike and just enjoying new life. Along with all that, a car has also been on my mind a lot lately and I've been looking around at many different possibilities. All in its own good time, I suppose.

As for my bookshelf, I've been able to enjoy some more reading lately. Last week, I read Wrestling Prayer by Eric and Leslie Ludy. If you feel as I do, strengthening your devotional and prayer life can be very difficult. This book is a great help to get motivated and serious about your prayer life. It takes time and work, but in the end I believe I will be able to say it's more than worth it and I will eagerly long for more. If you don't know about Eric and Leslie Ludy, I strongly encourage you to check them out here. I'm really blessed by their books and teaching. If you desire more in your Christian life than you currently have, they can help you grab a hold of it.

I'm also finishing up Life on the Edge: A Young Adult's Guide to a Meaningful Life by Dr. James Dobson. After that comes Alex and Brett Harris' newest book Start Here. I try to balance spiritual growth and fiction to get more variety, so I also started reading The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis, which, believe it or not, I have never read before. And if you haven't noticed, I keep a book list on the side here which I regularly add to as I read stuff. If you have questions about anything, please just drop a comment.

I often can't help but wonder what will be next in my life, but I can only take it one day at a time and seek wisdom from God. I have to faithfully do the work I have in front of me and seek to make an impact right where I am.

Often as a young person, I'm filled with dreams of changing the world and making a difference. But you don't have to go to a different country or start some huge movement or anything to do that, although it's wonderful if you can. Sometimes, it's in the little things right where you are. Often just an encouraging word or smile can go a long way. My eyes were opened to this awhile ago when I watched the movie A Greater Yes, which tells the story of Amy Newhouse, also something I recommend. It will challenge you to reach out to those around you and make a difference right where you are. And yes, it's Rebelutionary.

These are just a few of the things on my mind lately. I hope that the things I write will be a blessing and encourage you in your walk with the Lord. Blessings!

Missing Something?

I know that I often have a hard time posting once a week, so twice a day is especially rare. But I'm back because I did something funny today and it sparked many thoughts.

I was getting ready to have lunch. We had some leftover soup, so I put that on the stove and went about making a sandwich. So I did what I usually do: open up the fridge and pull out my desired items to complete my ham sandwich. Before long, I had a couple of slices of bread in the toaster and spread before me I had my package of smoked black forest ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, avocado, Miracle Whip, and honey mustard. Well, after putting it all together and cutting it diagonally, I took my first scrumptious bite. Not too bad, if I do say so myself. Another bite, and another, and yet another. Somewhere, as the delicious flavours combined in my mouth, it seemed something was missing, but I couldn't place my finger on it. All I knew was this was still really good. About halfway through, my eyes settled on the opened package of ham in front of me...Of all things I could have forgotten! I picked up the top triangle of bread and nestled a couple of slices on top of my honey mustard and mayo smeared lettuce. There. Now, it really was a ham sandwich.

How could I have forgotten the most important part? It's not a ham sandwich without ham! I know you're all thinking I have to be pretty dumb, but this brunette here is allowed one blond moment a day. Well, people do this all the time. There are people who call themselves Christians and Christ isn't evident in them at all. They claim to believe in something, teach something, do something, all in the name of Christianity, but somehow, it's still done without Christ. There are many people who like to teach good moral principles, but don't want to associate them with Christ. They could give you many legitimate reasons why you should or should not do something, why not to lie, steal, or "cheat" on your wife, but the simple fact that something is a command of God just doesn't seem to fit in. That could be really offensive, you know?!!

This year has gone by really fast again and Christmas is only a months away. Ooops! Did I just say CHRISTmas?!! Aahh, what a better time to focus on anything but the truth! Okay, so I'm being a little sarcastic. The fact is, most people celebrate Christmas, especially stores! Time to roll in the big bucks! Many people could tell you by now they have all their shopping done, and everything is already neatly wrapped and lookin' right perty under the tree. Children are one hyper mess about everything they want. But go into a store. Look at the banners, flyers, advertisements: Happy Holidays, Season's Greetings...You don't see Merry Christmas very often anymore. That has Christ in it and they don't want to offend anybody! A big X is often used to replace the word, but that's only a short form, you know! It's ridiculous! Listen to music. You won't hear many traditional carols about the birth of Jesus in public anymore but anything else that sounds happy and upbeat that goes right with the hectic atmosphere and stressed out shoppers will be just wonderful.

At Christmas, we Christians celebrate Christ; the Son of God come to the world in the flesh. But what does the rest of the world celebrate? What is their reason for the gifts, banguets, dinners, get togethers and all the other fun stuff. What many celebrate is a lie, passed down from one generation to the next. Children are taught to celebrate the image of a big jolly man in a red suit with a snowy white beard that goes all over the world in one night with his reindeer and his sleigh bringing presents to all the "nice" and "good" people. A "holy day" has been covered up with lies and distractions to keep people from the truth.

I hope you get where I'm coming from in all this, even though I did have a bit of a rough time making my point. Just like you can't have a ham sandwich without ham, you can't have Christians or Christmas without Christ. This was for me a good reminder for me today and I hope it will be for all of you as well.

A White Blanket

I woke up some time in the early dark hours this morning to hear that scraping along the road that we haven't heard for many months. A snowplow? No, impossible. It was snowing last night when we came home, but it was surely just wet snow. I fall back asleep. When I wake up again, I turn over to look at my alarm clock, wondering why it hadn't gone off yet, only to find it dark. I check my lamp. No electricity. I drag myself out of the comfort of my bed and it was cold. Time to turn on the heat. Oh, yeah, I can't. It was still dark outside but not too dark to see the snow out of the hallway window and I could vaguely make out a fallen tree branch. I found a flashlight downstairs and pointed it at the dining room clock. 7:15. Time to climb back under the warm blankets. I couldn't read my Bible in the dark anyway. Half an hour later, the power went back on.

After having my devotions, I look out the window to some strange scenery. One large maple is almost completely bare, but the smaller one next to it is still almost all green, it's branches hanging heavy on the ground under the weight of the snow. I turn away to get up and going for the day and Christmas tunes start popping into my head. I turn back to the green maple. This is not right! It's only the last week of October.

But isn't it great that we serve a God who is in charge and when I remember that I can say "Amen! It's beautiful!" For he saith to the snow, Be thou on the earth; likewise to the small rain, and to the great rain of his strength. (Job 37:6)

When I came downstairs and looked out of the kitchen, I saw another almost frightening sight to what the snow had done to another half red, half green maple. This definitely was worthy of a few pictures.

God bless and have a great week.

New Seasons

I absolutely love watching the colours change as autumn comes around. I feel fresh and new today, but I can't say it's always been like that the last few weeks. I've been trying to deal with a lot of things as God is purifying me...it's been really hard. But I also feel a spiritual rain coming. I was blessed to take a walk this morning, with my skirt blowing in the wind and the leaves dancing around me. Then after I came back, spending some time with my nephew, playing in the leaves, as the rain came. I managed to convince him to come inside before we got too wet and get some of the morning's pictures and videos on the computer.

I was reading in James this morning and came across these words:

James 1:2-4
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

Joy? Perfect and entire, wanting nothing? That's not exactly now I would describe how I've been feeling the last couple of weeks. But it can be! Why should I count it all joy? Because I am growing stronger! No, it isn't easy, but it's definitely worth it in the end. The victory is mine. I just have to take hold of it.

You may know what it's like to seriously exercise after you haven't done it for awhile! You may feel pretty sore for a few days. Normally, I would complain and moan over the pain, but not this week. I actually find that it feels good to be sore. I know I'm getting stronger and it feels good. I thank God that He has given me the ability to exercise and use my body.

I was almost in wonder this morning. While some trees are already bare, some are still green. ...and that's wonderful! It's easy to be discontent and want someone else's life but maybe it's a lot like the trees. When they change at different times, we can enjoy the colours longer. It's more exciting when things are different.

Here are a few pictures I got this morning:
God bless you as you continue to serve Him!

Broken Pieces

Well, these last few weeks I've been torn apart and heartbroken and now I'm just a bunch of broken pieces. It really hurts but then I realized, Hey, I'm at a place now that God can work with me and that's exciting. And an amazing work that He's doing! He's teaching me so much that I can hardly take it all in at once. I find that I can't just lean on Jesus but I need to completely throw myself on Him. He is good, merciful, and faithful even when I'm not.

Our youth held a free car wash for the community on Saturday and we found out that's a great way to shock people...an absolutely free car wash. We had rain on and off but I still managed to get a sunburn but it was good.

I know I'm not worthy of God's love but I praise and thank Him for it every day.

And I'll stand in awe of You,
Yes I'll stand in awe of You,
And I'll let my words be few-
Jesus I am so in love with You.
-Matt Redman

May this be our song each day. And if it isn't real in our life, then lets make it real. Glory be unto Jesus.

Have You Given Up Your Supper?

Say what? No I'm not talking about steaks or barbecued chicken. Let me explain. I was thinking about something a few days ago and I wanted a Bible story to use for something. Somehow, I kept thinking about the feeding of the five thousand but I didn't know how I could get a lesson out of it. Then I remembered the boy who gave the five barley loaves and two small fish. Logically speaking, it's impossible that this is sufficient amount for the multitude. Even the disciples who walked with Jesus said this. Nevertheless, this boy gave it, Jesus blessed it and everyone was filled. Jesus took that small amount and used it in a big way. So my question is have you given up your supper? This could be anything: your time, resources, talents, whatever it may be. It may be small and you may think it will hardly make any difference to this world but if you give it to Jesus, He can bless it and use it in a big way. I also noticed that this boy was kind of forgotten later on and he's actually only mentioned in the Gospel of John chapter 6. This tells us that we may not get a whole lot of recognition for what we do but that's okay because then God gets the glory and it will be of Him that we will receive our reward and a much bigger reward than man can give.

Yesterday, we had an amazing day. Our Sunday school lesson was great, along with the message and we had two girls get baptized. I could go into detail of what I all learned but that would just take way too long today. In the afternoon, our youth went to Spencer Gorge and so I'll post a few pictures. After we were done walking the trails, a big thunderstorm came in and we were battling heavy rains and strong winds on ride home, but it was beautiful.








Another small waterfall we found.
We took this trail by the train tracks at the bottom of the Dundas Peak. We found this "shortcut" going to the top. It was an extremely steep trail going up that was pretty much just loose rock and rubble. Now, I'm not a very "sportsy" or athletic person but I agreed because I thought it was just a little ways. We ended up climbing right to the top up the front of the cliff. Never doing that again! I wasn't about to slide all the way down halfway up so just don't look down and keep going.

And the view from up top. Yes
those are the same train tracks from about twenty minutes ago.







And the storm we had afterwards.

Oh, the joys of exploring the Niagara Escarpment! Sorry, I'm not very good at organizing pictures so this is a bit of a jumbled post. Blessings!

Capturing Summer Greens

What better thing to do on a lazy summer evening than go on a personal photo shoot and see how many different crazy things you can come up with with just yourself and a camera. Most fun I've had all day and you're all thinking I need to get a life. We have some gorgeous maples on our yard that just get bigger every year.

So, now all of you who would like to put a face to the name...there it is.


Wow, uploading pictures takes long. And it doesn't help that accidentally keep deleting them but there's a few. Sorry, I ended up deleting more.
Well, maybe I can post some photos again sometime. I just used my brother's camera...something I would like to invest in sometime. I could really enjoy photography.

God bless you all.

Winter Wonderland

Well, it still doesn't look like spring. We got another snowstorm last night and it's still really coming down. I just can't wait until spring when the trees green and the flowers bloom, and strolls along the beach at sunset and long walks through the woods. To wake up in the morning with the sun warm through my window and hearing the birds singing. Now it feels like only a dream but in a few months, a warming reality.

Where's Spring?

So last night we got freezing rain and ice pellets again and lots of snow over top and it's still snowing. If things don't change soon, I'm afraid we might have a white Easter again. Well this means that I don't have much to do today except bake muffins, read a book, listen to a message and so forth. Lord-willing, I'm going to be able to get back to my schoolwork soon. See y'all later!

Okay, Here It Is

Here's what you've all been waiting for. For those of you who didn't know about this, don't skip over the next poem because of the title. It's not your regular mushy gushy Valentine's Day poem.

Be Mine

"Be Mine" the words said
Written in the most beautiful shade of red.
Never before had her eyes beheld
Nor, in the depths of her heart, had she felt
This kind of feeling before.
She wanted to know more.
She read on quickly with excitement
And in amazement her soul leapt
As the words made it all so clear,
The very thing she needed to hear.
"I love you more than life,
My Dear, and in My love there is no fear.
You see, it was for this Holy love
That I gave My life and shed My blood.
I've given freely, to you, this treasure,
This gift which is beyond measure."
Could it be true, her eyes opened wide.
For it was at that moment she realized
The emptiness she had felt inside
Would now be wholly, completely satisfied
With this love, offered without cost.
It was true. She had been lost.
"There is only one thing I must ask of you."
"What is it?" she asked. "Anything I will do."
"Be mine and only mine, you must give me your life,
It's kind of like becoming my wife.
You'll be my bride and I will come back for you.
And I want you to be ready in all that you do."
Her answer was "Yes" and in those words,
The angels singing in heaven could be heard.
"Be Mine" the words said with sacrificial love
Written and sealed in her Savior's blood.

Merry Christmas

Just stopping by to wish everyone a very blessed Christmas as we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Snow, And More Snow

So I woke up this morning to that lovely pinging sound of ice pellets on my window. After a thick layer of ice, several inches of snow. Since you couldn't exactly tell where the road was, we decided it was probably a good idea to stay home from church, which may I say, felt a little awkward, but I finished studying for my exam on Wednesday, which was a great relief.

This morning, I was reading in Ephesians and there I came across a passage that I think we can all apply to our daily lives.

Ephesians 6:5-8
Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling in singleness of heart, as unto Christ,
Not with eyeservice as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart.
With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:
Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.

How often when we have a job to do, or are doing our chores when no one else is around, it's so easy to quickly skim over it. No, Mom might not find out, but God still knows and it's from Him that we will receive our reward. Think about this the coming week and go the "extra mile." If you're asked to do something, do it thoroughly and more. If you aren't asked to do something, but see that it needs to be done, do it. Take on someone else's chores out of love for them or just simply to bless them so that they have one less thing on their "to do" list.

GUESS WHAT, GUESS WHAT, GUESS WHAT?!!!
My birthday is in two weeks! Okay, so that was really random.

I would just ask for everyone's prayers. I'm going through something right now that I'm not quite sure how to handle. Whatever it may be, I want God's will to be done. It may be very hard, but I know that it will be best, even if I don't see it now.

God bless you and keep you.

"Now unto him who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen." (Eph. 3:20,21)