To Carry Your Compassion

I come back once again briefly to explain my future absence.  As God has called me to various things this spring and summer, writing will be low on my priority list.  I will be traveling to Haiti for a week this month on a mission trip, and then in June I will be returning to Staten Island to serve as a long-term volunteer with MDS.  The next few months will be a time of learning and growing in new ways.  No doubt, there will be lots to be shared, I just don't know when time will allow me to do that.

As I go through different seasons of life, there is usually a song that describes my vision or what it is I'm going through.  One that is fitting to this season of life is "The Power of Your Name" by Lincoln Brewster.  I appreciate the lyrics of this chorus and it's my desire that my life would be a demonstration of that as well.

"And I will live to carry your compassion

To love a world that's broken

To be Your hands and feet

And I will give with the life that I've been given

And go beyond religion

To see the world be changed

By the power of Your Name!"

Distracted by God

This past week, I have been reminded once again about what really matters in life. As many of us grieved the loss of a young man, I have been unable to focus well on the tasks around me. I'm distracted by thoughts of a grieving family and the same prayers of comfort and peace again and again. I'm thankful for God who cares, who's arms are always open and ready to hold those who are hurting.

I sit down with a book, but my mind is somewhere else and I absorb little that I read. I pace around as I listen to soft music thinking and praying. I whisper comforting lyrics to myself and as a prayer to those who are hurting. I'm unable to concentrate on the work I have to do but rather find myself confused and unsure of what to do next. I wonder "What if it had happened to me, had been my brother?" My only word for how I feel is distracted.

An interesting thought came to me this morning. Distracted by God. This life has us distracted by so many things that we have very few moments in our day where we allow ourselves to focus on God, and even then, we're distracted by something else. What if we took just half our time that we generally spend focusing on other things and focused on God instead, spending time in prayer and communion with Him? How different wouldn't our lives be if we were rather distracted by God?

I've been reminded again of Clayton McDonald who went home to be with the Lord a year ago after being diagnosed with leukemia for the fourth time. His message is one that inspires, challenges and makes me cry every time I listen to it. If you haven't heard of him, I would strongly encourage to watch these videos:

Clayton McDonald

Clayton's Story

Look to God in times of trial. He gives strength to go on and comfort for the hurting.

Blessed Spring Life

Life during this month has been nothing short of interesting. It has been full of joyful delight and anticipation. However, it has also been accompanied by a cold/cough that doesn't want to go away and concerns about life. It seems to be much in tune with the weather; some days we enjoy radiant, warm sunshine while others bring to us cold winds and rain.

My life could at present be described as an array of loose puzzle pieces, waiting to be fit together into a beautiful masterpiece. (I feel that God does want to make a beautiful masterpiece of my life.) They just seem to be having a difficult time finding each other.

I'm excited about getting some more hours at my job. I'm looking forward to doing some extra stuff on the side, like improving my writing skills and hopefully planting some flowers and a vegetable garden soon. I'm excited about the prospect of being able to get out more, cleaning up the yard, going for walks, taking out my bike and just enjoying new life. Along with all that, a car has also been on my mind a lot lately and I've been looking around at many different possibilities. All in its own good time, I suppose.

As for my bookshelf, I've been able to enjoy some more reading lately. Last week, I read Wrestling Prayer by Eric and Leslie Ludy. If you feel as I do, strengthening your devotional and prayer life can be very difficult. This book is a great help to get motivated and serious about your prayer life. It takes time and work, but in the end I believe I will be able to say it's more than worth it and I will eagerly long for more. If you don't know about Eric and Leslie Ludy, I strongly encourage you to check them out here. I'm really blessed by their books and teaching. If you desire more in your Christian life than you currently have, they can help you grab a hold of it.

I'm also finishing up Life on the Edge: A Young Adult's Guide to a Meaningful Life by Dr. James Dobson. After that comes Alex and Brett Harris' newest book Start Here. I try to balance spiritual growth and fiction to get more variety, so I also started reading The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis, which, believe it or not, I have never read before. And if you haven't noticed, I keep a book list on the side here which I regularly add to as I read stuff. If you have questions about anything, please just drop a comment.

I often can't help but wonder what will be next in my life, but I can only take it one day at a time and seek wisdom from God. I have to faithfully do the work I have in front of me and seek to make an impact right where I am.

Often as a young person, I'm filled with dreams of changing the world and making a difference. But you don't have to go to a different country or start some huge movement or anything to do that, although it's wonderful if you can. Sometimes, it's in the little things right where you are. Often just an encouraging word or smile can go a long way. My eyes were opened to this awhile ago when I watched the movie A Greater Yes, which tells the story of Amy Newhouse, also something I recommend. It will challenge you to reach out to those around you and make a difference right where you are. And yes, it's Rebelutionary.

These are just a few of the things on my mind lately. I hope that the things I write will be a blessing and encourage you in your walk with the Lord. Blessings!

Pondering 18

Okay, so I won't even lie about it. I've been anticipating my birthday this year for far too long. I know it's just one day of the year where I officially turn over from 17 to 18, but it seems somehow more significant this year, almost as if it's a small milestone in my life that I will always recognize. I'm legally considered an adult and I only have two years of my teens left. And although some would beg to differ, I like having my birthday right at the end of the year. There's Christmas, my birthday, and then New Year's; a perfect time of year to look back, reflect, and rejoice in the Lord's goodness and all the blessings He has bestowed upon me that I don't deserve.

When I look over this past year, I can hardly believe what it's all held. Last year had it's own share of blessings: I began to drive, I met some amazing new friends, I was baptized upon my confession of faith, and made many memories. This year, I began a job that I love, met some amazing new people again, read some awesome books, and above all, I finished school. Completing my last two years of school through correspondence was no easy task. I always had a bunch of other things stealing my time and other difficulties arose, so I think I consider it a bigger accomplishment than most graduates would.

And having said that, I can't count how many times I have heard the question “What are you going to do now?” Oh, how often I have wished that I could provide more confident, intelligent answers than those along the lines of “I don't know.” I knew all year that this was coming and thus it has been a year of eagerly anticipating change and fearing it at the same time. In all honesty, I probably have to admit that I'm a fan of consistency, and although I feel somewhat thrilled at the thought of the unknown, it also terrifies me. But it wasn't until just lately that I actually began to feel content about it. Staying in that state of contentedness has at times proven to be more difficult. Only time will tell what I end up doing with my life.

Looking back on this year, I can't help but wonder if I have changed and in what ways. I'm sure I have. I've been asking a lot of questions: Who am I? Do I really know what I believe and can I confidently defend my beliefs? Are my convictions really mine, or are they merely adopted from other people? Because if they're not, then I'm going to sway like a tree whichever way the wind blows and have no real stability as a Christian. I have been deeply challenged in these things, so you could say that I'm also on the road of self-discovery. I've learned the importance of grace (thanks to Pete and The Grace Awakening by Charles Swindoll), of Set-Apart Femininity (Leslie Ludy), The Bravehearted Gospel (Eric Ludy) and oh, so much more. Putting these things into practice is a daily effort and I can do them only because of Christ. It's His work in my life and His work of sanctification and consecration will continue until the day I see Him face to face. It is my sincere desire to be a holy vessel, a woman of honour that God can use.

I have no idea what I will be writing one year from now and that's okay. I have confidence in God that it will be good. Until then, I thank all my friends for the blessing you have been to my life. May God bless you in turn beyond anything you could ever imagine!

A Peek into my Life

A lot in my life has changed this year while my blog has been neglected. I'm currently working part-time as a sales associate at Words of Life Christian Bookstore. I finished school a couple of weeks ago, which was a huge sense of accomplishment. I had been working through correspondence for over two years now, and although it wasn't nearly always easy, it has definitely been a rewarding experience. People always ask me what I'm going to do know, and I really don't know. I'm definitely enjoying some free time at home, and I'm going to be working more closer to Christmastime. In the new year, I'll definitely be looking for the next step, but I'm pretty clueless right now as to what that will be, and I'm actually content about that. I'm actually okay with not knowing yet, but I trust that whatever God has for me next, it will be good.

My life at work is always exciting and I absolutely love my job. Going to work in the morning is often a mystery, because I usually don't know what I'll be doing that day. Typical days include taking care of sales, answering customer inquiries, maybe some cleaning, and other things involved in running a store. Sometimes we'll get orders in from suppliers and I'll enter and label products and call customers. Orders are generally big so this often takes up the better part of my day. I've also learned to eat on a schedule when I work, having breakfast at home at 8:30, and then I generally always have a snack between 11 and 11:3o. This is because it generally always gets very busier over lunch time, and I'm generally not able to eat until 1:00 or later, and then I generally still have a few interruptions.

My days at home vary a lot. Right now, I'm working on compiling a bunch of loose recipes and ones I've collected online, which may still take me a couple of weeks to finish. Otherwise, I help out around the house, cooking and baking, and hopefully do some more blogging. These days are hard to describe accurately because they're so varied and different things always come up, and days usually don't go as planned.

If finances will allow, I'm planning on attending the Set-Apart Girl Conference 2010 in Greeley, CO in the spring. If any of my readers are going as well, please do let me know so we'll be sure to meet each other.

So there you have a general peek into my life, for those of you who care to know. Blessings to all of you.

Finally!

Okay, time to sit down and write a solid post. When asking for suggestions, somebody left a comment in regards to my new job, so I shall answer that. I got a job at the Kuma Cafe, a new coffee shop opening in our hometown. And, no, Kuma isn't an English word but it would basically be like a pantry. It was a real answer to prayer and God has just shown Himself so strong in this matter, I can hardly believe it myself! A verse that God gave me in confirmation to this was "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." (Matthew 7:7) We went shopping today to buy fabric for skirts for work and found really nice stuff for $3.00 a meter! Now, I don't know much about sewing, but that's incredibly cheap. God is good.

I've also been thinking about this poem lately:

I Asked God

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
I was made weak, that I might learn to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for — but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all people, most richly blessed.

Anonymous

Sometimes we look at circumstances in our lives and think them most undesirable. God answers prayers, but sometimes in a different way than we expect and we find ourselves saying something like "God, this isn't exactly what I had in mind." But I think that even if God never gave us precisely anything we asked for--if he gave us weakness instead of strength, poverty instead of riches, infirmity instead of health, and so on--I think one day, we would look back and say that we did get everything we had ever wanted and more, even if it did come in different packaging.

CJ, at his blog was sharing six things that he learned this year, so I thought I would include that as well.

1. Even after a year and a half of babysitting, I learned that I know nothing about child training.
2. I learned to bake bread this year.
3. I learned to drive this year and made my G2 license.
4. Mom really does know more than I do. Persistence always wins, they say, but you will regret it later.
5. If it's God's will, He will bless it.
6. The Lord's chastening is all the proof I need that He loves me.

Thank you to everyone who has been patient with me in the blogging world. God bless you all richly and abundantly.

Hmmm....

This blog of mine really is suffering some neglect, especially this month. I've been busy with many things, including obtaining a job, but I also have no idea what to post about, even when I do have time. But hopefully I'll have a topic soon. Any suggestions?

Absence Explained

My absence from the blogging world can be simply explained as I've been really busy. And even if I wasn't so busy, I have no idea what to post about. But I'm sure one day I'll be able to get in another solid post, I just have no idea when or what it will be about for that matter. Until then...

Sigh...

Okay, I've given up with trying to post regularly. I'm really excited though that I made my G2 today. And I was tagged, by Meshaay, so I might as well post that. The rules are as follows:

1. Link to the person(s) who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself
4. Tag sixish people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know he or she has been tagged
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up

So you want to know random things about me:

1. I don't like soft drinks.
2. I like my feet.
3. I'm very indecisive.
4. I actually really enjoyed writing my last English essay.
5. I have a bad tendency to worry a lot.
6. I don't make any sense.

So now, I'd like to tag:
Melodie
Christina
Maria Pauline
Tori
Jennifer
Nancy

My Week...

I do sincerely apologize for my lack of posting lately. I had most of my week off last week, in which I spent most of reading. Yesterday, my friend Justine and I were baptized at our church. We were blessed to have several friends visiting! It was an amazing day!

Last week, God showed me His love in a very humbling way. I won't go into detail with my story, but God showed me how much He wants us to come to Him when we're hurting...that when He asks "What's wrong?" that we just come into His arms and pour out our heart to Him and allow Him to take our hurt and pain. We don't need to carry these burdens around all the time. God does not want us to carry these burdens around but cast it all on Him and find release from our bondage.

Right now, I'm being really blessed reading through Ecclesiastes and I hope to study it in more depth and share what I learn with you all. Until then, God be with you!

New Feature

If y'all hadn't noticed yet, I added a list of books to my sidebar. I hope to add more as I have to time to read. If you have questions about any of them, just drop me a comment and I'll gladly get back to you.

After Nearly Three Years...

...Since I got my expander, my braces came off today and now I'm trying to learn how to talk with a retainer. I got my bands off last month so taking my brackets off today took like a minute... and then it felt like I had no teeth. Then they spent about half an hour polishing and cleaning in which in part of that time water was spraying all over my face. Then switching rooms and getting photos and impressions done again...But it's pretty exciting. Now comes taking care of my retainer to avoid more bills.

If there's anybody reading my blog now who's dragging through the pain and self-denial of orthodontics (all the good food I mean), it's worth the wait. Just don't break anything (although I did that too many times to count) and you're good to go. It almost feels weird not always having to be careful what you eat.

God be with you all.

Quick Post

Since you're probably all wondering where I've been I decided to pop in for a quick post. Short at that for many reasons. I started Driver's Ed this week which is not bad but it feels really wierd after not being in a classroom with a bunch of high school kids in over a year. Alex and Brett over at the Rebelution nearly made me cry after reading their last blog post about five minutes ago on cereal. Had I been there in person I could have screamed at them for at least five minutes but you'll all have to go check that out for yourselves. I read this week in Proverbs that before honour is humility and I've been meditating on that. And there's all the chemistry that I'm not doing which is why I have to make this quick and I'll be going right about...now!

Anyway...

Sorry, if I don't get a good post in for awhile. I'm really cramming to get schoolwork done.

Quick Update

First of all, I hope everyone had a good Easter. Our was particularly interesting when my sister had a baby on Friday. His name is Alexander James Giesbrecht. It was a good reminder of new life. Brendan liked him until he found out that he took up a lot of Mommy's time and attention (he's a real big Mama's boy). I got to really drive for the first time this weekend which I got a real kick out of. We had some close calls but I didn't hit anything (whew). Last night we went to the Gospel Express Easter Celebration in Stratford. We got home just before midnight so I had a little trouble getting up this morning but it was good. This week I'll probably be helping my sister out some and next week I start babysitting for my brother. That'll definitely be a change.

So that pretty much sums up my life right now and I hope to get a more solid post in later on this week.

Where's Spring?

So last night we got freezing rain and ice pellets again and lots of snow over top and it's still snowing. If things don't change soon, I'm afraid we might have a white Easter again. Well this means that I don't have much to do today except bake muffins, read a book, listen to a message and so forth. Lord-willing, I'm going to be able to get back to my schoolwork soon. See y'all later!

Quick Update

Well, let's see what's new. Saturday the youth at our church went tubing. Yesterday, after our morning service, us girls had a potluck lunch and some good talks and discussion afterward. In the evening we had a service focused on missions which was really good.

This past week, as good it had been has been very difficult. I've been starting to see so much of my own wickedness and God has just been showing me fault after fault and I feel like screaming "One thing at a time!" I'm trying hard to learn to love, speak words of encouragement that lift up and not tear down, and lots about purity. I'm learning that there is so much more to purity in words, actions, thoughts and all those little things that say so much that we need to be really careful about like our eye language. This week I'm planning on listening to the Godly Courtship series by Denny Kenaston cause there's so much I need to learn and pull together. As hard as much of this pruning is, I know it's good for me and will result in a lot of growing.

So there's a bit about what's going on in my life and if the Spirit leads you I would appreciate everyones prayers as I'm going through this chapter in my life. Blessings!

A Few Changes

So, as you can see, I've made a few changes around here. I've updated my profile, so you should really go check that out. Leave a comment telling me whether you like it or not. And if you visit my blog whether for the first time or more often, please tell me so with your name please. Thank you, and I realize that probably sounded really business like.

Blessings!

An Interesting Week

So as you may or may not have already guessed, I'm having an interesting week. For one my brother-in-law quit his job yesterday which makes me a stay-at-home girl to a great extent.

I've also been reading The Hiding Place this week. I'm almost finished it. For those of you who don't know, it's a book about the life of Corrie ten Boom, a remarkable Christian woman who worked with the underground during WW2 hiding Jews. She also survived several months in prison and Nazi concentration camps. I would strongly recommend it to everyone. It manages to find light, love, and hope even in midst of darkest horror and a testimony of God's grace as Corrie managed to forgive and bless her enemies even in the most difficult circumstances. It really brought many questions to mind: How far am I willing to go for the cause of Christ? Am I willing to risk my life for the well-being of others? Am I ready to lay down all I have and leave everything I've ever known? Would I be able to handle the conditions? Right now, it seems impossible but God only gives us the strength we need when we need it and His grace is sufficient.

As soon as I'm done this book, I'll be studying for another upcoming exam. Now, I have to go.

Blessings!

I Will Love Thee

Psalm 18:1-3
I will love thee, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.
I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.

I have much to praise the Lord for. Yesterday, I made my G1s. I only got one question wrong, so now I can officially drive. Today my sister stayed home to take Brendan to the doctor's so I had the day off. So I had the great opportunity of making buns for the first time. They turned out really good.

Psalm 18:25-32,35
With the merciful thou wilt shew thyself merciful; with the upright thou wilt shew thyself upright;
With the pure thou wilt shew thyself pure; with the froward thou wilt shew thyself froward.
For thou wilt save the afflicted people; but wilt bring down high looks.
For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.
For by thee have I run through a troop; and by my God have I leaped over a wall.
As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.
For who is God save the LORD, or who is a rock save our God?
It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.
Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great.

This week I was offered another babysitting job for this summer. It wasn't exactly what I had expected and I don't all the details yet, but I'm starting to feel that God wants me to do it. I was really hoping that after I was done babysitting now, I could do something different, but God knows best and I want to do His will.

Psalm 18:46
The LORD liveth; and blessed be my rock; and let the God of my salvation be exalted.

Now, since I'm supposed to be writing an essay right now, I have to go. God bless you and be with you all.