Wednesday, 16 January 2008

A Shocking Realization

I just came to a shocking realization. As the winds of change are turning once again in my life, I started to dread what I see coming and felt like I wasn't ready for it at all and then it dawned on me why. I remembered part of a message that says (not exact words): "You ask, 'What will it cost me for God to break my heart?' I'll tell you what it will cost you; it will cost you absolutely everything." Then he goes on to say that when God breaks your heart, you begin to see people the way that God sees them. And that is exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that I'll start to see people the way that God sees them and that it will cause me grief, sorrow, and pain. then I realized that this is what Jesus went through. By going through this, in a sense I would be becoming more like Jesus. Is that what I'm scared of? I don't have the slightest idea what it means to follow Jesus or who God is.

I ask you to pray that God really would break my heart and that I wouldn't let any bitterness into my heart, but rather a spirit of love and compassion. Pray that I would be yielded and allow God to fulfill what he wishes in my life.

And do you know what the strangest thing is? It almost feels like this is the result of someone else praying for me.

1 John 3:21,22
Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.
And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

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