This post is a continuation of What Are You Saying? Part Two.
In Parts One and Two of this series, I shared two stories about
what people say by how they dress, one pertaining to women, the other to
men. Although I asked a lot of questions about what people say, I hope
to pull things together here and perhaps provide a few answers.
Remember, these are a lot of thoughts I've pondered and are not to be
taken as if I think I have it all figured out. I also realize I am
speaking from the limited perspective of a young, single woman, but I do hope
you will take some things into consideration.
of all, in regards to my first post: What do girls say about themselves
when dressing in such an exposing manner? Now, a lot of it is just so
engrained in our culture. We live in a society that screams sex and
fashion caters to that idea. Walk into most stores in the mall,
especially in the summertime, that's what's available. It's what's in,
it's what's considered hot, it's what makes you popular, so why not buy
The problem is that our culture has stripped girls
of the ideas that their bodies are worth anything more, that they
actually have value as a person, that some guys actually will love them
for not dressing like the rest of the crowd. I really do believe that
the average young woman wants to be treated respectfully, wants to be
wanted for more than just sex, but since the pressure is so strong, they
just cave in, follow the crowd and try to deal with it.
Girls, let me tell
you this. You do have value. God created you for Himself, and although
your sexuality is a gift, it is meant to be saved for your husband.
And yes, there are men who will still love you. They will love you for
who you are, not for your body. I have on a few occasions read Yahoo
articles of men giving their opinions on popular women's fashions. They
actually don't want to see that much. They don't think such skimpy
clothes are actually attractive. And these weren't Christians saying
this either. Let that encourage you.
Maybe I'm wrong
in thinking this way, but if you dress with decency, you are a lot more likely to be treated respectfully. But it would be wrong to expect
that if you revealed everything. I have very little sympathy to offer a girl freaking out over a guy looking up her mini skirt. I can only
be shocked that she's so offended when there's so little hidden in the first place. No, his actions aren't right, but
frankly, she's only inviting such behaviour. So, in short girls, dress with dignity and it will likely change the way people relate to you.
to my reflections on Part 2. I was afraid of writing this because I
wasn't sure how people would feel about me speaking to men. I think I
can safely say that our culture and the modern belief system has
influenced men's fashions as well. You may think there's nothing
exciting about T-shirts. But a shirt like the one I described in my
last post says a lot about a common belief in our world--that it's okay and even enjoyable to abuse women. That it's pleasurable to not only have sex, but to
make your partner a torture victim. They find satisfaction in another's
In regards to the particular incident I
witnessed, that man was screaming a few things, perhaps without
realizing it. In addition to suggesting there was something pleasurable in a woman's suffering, he was also saying that his wife wasn't enough. That she
didn't fulfill him. He had to look to other things for pleasure, and I
doubt it was limited to a T-shirt.
I often read the Old
Testament and wonder how some of those women felt that were just one of
many wives. I personally don't know of one woman that likes to share her
husband, although I don't rule out the possibility of it happening.
Polygamy does still happen, but I
honestly don't think that the thought thrills too many women. Most wives don't want to have to compete with an another woman, or images on a screen for that matter. I
recently read an article where doctors were going so far as to say that
men need variety, need an occasional fling with someone else, and their
wives should just be okay with it. No, no, they shouldn't!
writing from a single perspective here, so I don't know everything. I
won't tell the men reading this what they can't wear. But I do know
that most women want to be enough for the man in their life. They don't
want to share, and rightly so. To the young women reading though, I
will say this. You can be confident that God wants nothing less for you
than to have a faithful husband, sexually satisfied by you alone. You don't have
to settle for less. You're not asking too much.
In closing, I want to encourage each reader to ask yourself once in awhile, "What am I saying by what I wear?"