Thursday, 16 August 2012

What Are You Saying? Part Three

This post is a continuation of What Are You Saying? Part Two.

In Parts One and Two of this series, I shared two stories about what people say by how they dress, one pertaining to women, the other to men.  Although I asked a lot of questions about what people say, I hope to pull things together here and perhaps provide a few answers.  Remember, these are a lot of thoughts I've pondered and are not to be taken as if I think I have it all figured out.  I also realize I am speaking from the limited perspective of a young, single woman, but I do hope you will take some things into consideration.

First of all, in regards to my first post: What do girls say about themselves when dressing in such an exposing manner?  Now, a lot of it is just so engrained in our culture.  We live in a society that screams sex and fashion caters to that idea.  Walk into most stores in the mall, especially in the summertime, that's what's available.  It's what's in, it's what's considered hot, it's what makes you popular, so why not buy it?

The problem is that our culture has stripped girls of the ideas that their bodies are worth anything more, that they actually have value as a person, that some guys actually will love them for not dressing like the rest of the crowd.  I really do believe that the average young woman wants to be treated respectfully, wants to be wanted for more than just sex, but since the pressure is so strong, they just cave in, follow the crowd and try to deal with it.

Girls, let me tell you this.  You do have value.  God created you for Himself, and although your sexuality is a gift, it is meant to be saved for your husband.  And yes, there are men who will still love you.  They will love you for who you are, not for your body.  I have on a few occasions read Yahoo articles of men giving their opinions on popular women's fashions.  They actually don't want to see that much.  They don't think such skimpy clothes are actually attractive. And these weren't Christians saying this either.  Let that encourage you.

Maybe I'm wrong in thinking this way, but if you dress with decency, you are a lot more likely to be treated respectfully. But it would be wrong to expect that if you revealed everything.  I have very little sympathy to offer a girl freaking out over a guy looking up her mini skirt.  I can only be shocked that she's so offended when there's so little hidden in the first place.  No, his actions aren't right, but frankly, she's only inviting such behaviour.  So, in short girls, dress with dignity and it will likely change the way people relate to you.

On to my reflections on Part 2.  I was afraid of writing this because I wasn't sure how people would feel about me speaking to men.  I think I can safely say that our culture and the modern belief system has influenced men's fashions as well.  You may think there's nothing exciting about T-shirts. But a shirt like the one I described in my last post says a lot about a common belief in our world--that it's okay and even enjoyable to abuse women. That it's pleasurable to not only have sex, but to make your partner a torture victim.  They find satisfaction in another's pain.

In regards to the particular incident I witnessed, that man was screaming a few things, perhaps without realizing it.  In addition to suggesting there was something pleasurable in a woman's suffering, he was also saying that his wife wasn't enough.  That she didn't fulfill him.  He had to look to other things for pleasure, and I doubt it was limited to a T-shirt.

I often read the Old Testament and wonder how some of those women felt that were just one of many wives.  I personally don't know of one woman that likes to share her husband, although I don't rule out the possibility of it happening.  Polygamy does still happen, but I honestly don't think that the thought thrills too many women.  Most wives don't want to have to compete with an another woman, or images on a screen for that matter.  I recently read an article where doctors were going so far as to say that men need variety, need an occasional fling with someone else, and their wives should just be okay with it.  No, no, they shouldn't!

I'm writing from a single perspective here, so I don't know everything.  I won't tell the men reading this what they can't wear.  But I do know that most women want to be enough for the man in their life.  They don't want to share, and rightly so.  To the young women reading though, I will say this. You can be confident that God wants nothing less for you than to have a faithful husband, sexually satisfied by you alone.  You don't have to settle for less. You're not asking too much.

In closing, I want to encourage each reader to ask yourself once in awhile, "What am I saying by what I wear?"


  1. At the moment, I'm saying that I coach East Elgin Youth Soccer.

  2. Some great thoughts in this series, Margaret. Keep shining the light into the darkness.

  3. Thanks Pete. I was running a risk in publishing this. I appreciate your confirmation.