What Did I Do?: The Deep End

Well, it was a good week. Having some extra time off, I took the opportunity to catch up with friends, be social, have fun, etc. However, I was also happy when I had the chance to have a few quieter days to slow down and stay at home more.

March 26: On Thursday night I had dinner with a friend, and we tried The Open Kitchen. Although they had a $12 steak special that was very tempting, I knew there was no way I was going to eat a 14 ounce steak. So I opted for a California Chicken Salad. Yeah, there was no way I was going to eat all of this at once either!

It reminded me of the salads I would get at a restaurant in Staten Island, except there they would have twice as much chicken on them. People may wonder why I would order just a salad when I eat out, but salad veggies and lean protein is usually a tummy friendly option for me. This one had romaine lettuce, spinach, cucumber, strawberries, candied pecans, dried cranberries and goat cheese. This was my first try at goat cheese. It's softer than I like most of my cheeses and has a more sour taste, so it's not a new favourite. Although I want to brave blue cheese yet and try goat milk. I've tried  many milk alternatives (rice, soy, almond, and coconut), but not any other animal sourced alternatives.

From there, we went to a prayer meeting with a small group of believers I hadn't met, and it was a blessing to meet with them. It was here I also heard about antinomianism. I'm not one to delve deeply into theology and although I'm familiar with some ideas, this was new. According to the dictionary, an antinomian is "one who holds that under the gospel dispensation of grace the moral law is of no use or obligation because faith alone is necessary to salvation." I would be interested in learning more about this idea, even if I don't agree with it.

March 27: Friday was a see what happens kind of day where I didn't really plan anything. I was reading a local magazine publication and learned a little about DMQ (Difference Making Quotient), but I never did figure out how you measure a person's DMQ. I tried a Salted Caramel timbit, which was tasty. I set out to explore some different educational options I had found out about in the previous 24 hours, ways that I could grow in my administrative and writing skills, or take Bible school type courses, without making a big commitment. I was definitely very interested in The Silo Project and hope that later this year I can work through some of their courses.

I also learned that in Hawaii, after the Pearl Harbour invasion, the state was concerned about another Japanese invasion and what would happen if the Japanese stole cash and used it to fund their war effort. So the state recalled all the bills, with small allowances, and printed new ones, so that if money was stolen, people could see it came from Hawaii. Not knowing what to do with the $200 million recalled, and it being too expensive to ship the bills to the mainland, they burned them.

March 28: Tom Ryan was the culinary scientist who invented the McDonald's McGriddle, stuffed crust pizza for Pizza Hut, and a lot of other fast foods.

March 29: Sunday was a bit of an emotional day for me. It was a day of God bringing together the things I was thinking and praying about in the previous few days and revealed to me a purpose. I don't know yet what it will look like and exactly what He has in store, but it could get exciting.

I also had another friend catch-up day. After bowling, which we discovered goes way too fast with just two people, we pondered what to do while we got hungry enough to have dinner. We set out to find the Jumbo monument, which I hadn't seen since I was a kid, knowing the general part of town. From there I followed signs and winding roads to see what Historic St. Thomas was all about, which reminded me of Staten Island. This exploring came in very useful the next day when I tried to get from one part of town to a place I had never been, with a few directions, an address and a general idea of where to go. After letting our appetites build, we settled on Bella Jack's which I had often wanted to try. The first unique item on the menu that caught my eye was a shrimp and pineapple quesadilla. I like shrimp, and I like Hawaiian pizza, but pineapple in a quesadilla? It was good, although they could have filled it a little more. All in all, a good afternoon catching up on life, which is what really mattered.

March 30: I swam in the deep end! We kept it simple the first time, and I learned that once you cross that black line, it really does drop off far and I was hanging onto the wall to keep my head above water. I just swam across the pool on my back, without strokes, just to get used to it. My instructor stayed beside me, to make sure I didn't drown in case I panicked, but I actually remained quite calm and made it without any problems. Keep your chin back, stay calm, and keep kicking! I also made some significant improvements on my whip kick. The hardest part has been keeping my feet out, since I keep wanting to have ballerina toes or something. Thankfully I'm not a kid or my instructor would make me walk around the deck like a penguin!

In the afternoon, I got a hair cut, and in addition to enjoying my bouncy curls again, I also got my hairdresser to wax my eyebrows for the first time! I have eyebrows that tend to want to take up more of my face than I like, and I was quite pleased with the end result! I didn't get as many tears as I expected. I mostly giggled. I don't know which is worse for the person having to do it!

March 31: You know when you kind of know the meaning of something, or have an idea, but not really? Yep, Anne Shirley felt "unregenerate" around Mrs. Lynde and that set me searching. Also, the word "contrite" came up at Bible study, so I now have a decent understanding of that. How often do we read stuff in our Bibles and miss lots because we just don't understand the meaning of a word?

April 1: And sometimes I like to know where days on our calendars or traditions associated with days came from. You know what else this means??!!!! I'm a quarter way through my year!!! I think there will be a great sense of relief when this year is over, but also a sense of satisfaction to look back and see what I accomplished.

Anyhow, to my point! And this is no joke! It's April 1st. The first association between foolishness and the date is found in The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer. Other references and dates go back  to the 1500s and 1600s. During the Middle Ages in Europe, people celebrated New Year's Day on March 25, and others over a long-weekend ending on April 1. There is also an April fish tradition (poissons d'avril) that French-speaking people have of trying to attach a paper fish to a person's back unnoticed. Hmm, this gives me ideas!

And, it's now sinking in that a quarter of this year is indeed done and it has gone by fast. But I'm looking forward to what's ahead. :)

What Did I Do?: Overalls and Authentic German Cooking

This week started off a little low-key, then got a little more interesting. I started mostly with my cheater approaches: online articles and the dictionary. I hope I can move away from this more again, and actually do some stuff worth talking about. Something I have been challenging myself with is limiting distractions in my life. One of my approaches the past week has been to leave the music off. Music is great, but I find that when I'm always listening to music, or looking for this or that song on Youtube, I get hardly anything done. And I need to stop surrounding myself with noise all the time.

March 19: Since I had put making Jaegerschnitzel on my list awhile back, and planning to try it soon, I explored many recipes, and also learned about how to make Spaetzle, and found out what a potato ricer was. I also learned that thumbing the touch screen on your smart phone changes the way your brain responds to touch. There's an intriguing article about that here. It's crazy how technology affects us.

March 20: Scientists in Australia have figured out a way to use ultrasound technology to restore memory loss in mice. It could be used in a few years to treat Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's develops as a result of lesions--neurofibrillary tangles and amyloid plaques--building up on the brain.

March 21: I learned about the various benefits of coconut oil, and thanks to Anne of Green Gables, I now know the meaning of the words vim, implicit, impeach, and veracity. And you're probably thinking, is she ever going to finish that book? All in good time. :)

March 22: Sunday one of my coworkers saved me a ton of efforts by informing me that James Watts invented the steam engine. Except I thought I had heard John Watts. Good thing I verified the information when I got home. Steam engines were first used in commercial enterprises in 1776.

March 23: Monday was a very interesting day for me. It consisted of various activities, lots of driving, and lots of waiting. I started my morning at the pool. I didn't really learn anything new this week, but just kept practicing things I've been working on. However, I did venture deeper into the pool. Although not ready for the deep end yet, my instructor had me go in up to my shoulders. Although I have waded into water this deep before not knowing how to swim, there was something scary about actually swimming in it, taking my feet off the bottom. And in my mind I was singing, and the the words seemed to take on a whole new level of meaning.

"You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find you in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand." --"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" by Hillsong United

From there I headed to The Pita Shack for some lunch. Although initially disappointed that they didn't warm or toast the pita, it was actually excellent. Hours later, I found myself near the downtown core of a city, that as it turns out can be a little uncomfortable to be in. I parked in the parking lot of a convenience store, where I got myself my mid-afternoon coffee and a pack of Cadbury Mini Eggs. This way I could justify parking as a customer while on the premises, instead of putting change in a parking meter. As I waited and enjoyed my afternoon snack, I observed my surroundings and the various people. I looked in the rearview mirror to see a guy vomit in front of Pizza Pizza. My eyes followed an animated young woman with a shopping cart, full of various items and bags. The real curiosity though was a bundle of wrapping paper rolls attached to the cart, which she showed off to many passing by. She later got some assistance from a man to make some modifications to this bundle, and soon he was busy with a roll of electrical tape, utility knife and other items I was unable to recognize. I never could figure out exactly what they were trying to do. And then there was the man parked a few spaces away from me in a black SUV, wearing big black shades, with his window rolled down, having a smoke. And he was watching something. Or for something. Or someone. At times I got a little unnerved, thinking he was watching me. Well, of course, I was watching him too...with locked doors. And then I saw the moment something switched, he took off and sped across the intersection, dodged a cyclist as if he had somewhere real important to go really fast, only to pull into the laneway right across the intersection, and later across the street. I never did figure that one out either, but "drug deal" certainly did cross my mind more than once. It was way too much like a movie! And as I watched these people with seemingly broken lives, I couldn't help but admire those who have the courage to walk into them, build relationships, and show them hope.

Then I went to the mall and shopped for a couple hours, which was all I could handle after my already eventful and slightly draining day. I walked into Urban Planet, not expecting to find much I would be seriously interested in. I saw some denim overalls, which seem to be fashionable again. I never would have thunk. I entertained the thought for a moment, then walked away. But my mind kept going back to those overalls. And I thought, Why not? Might as well take time to have a little fun. I grabbed a pair from the rack and headed for the dressing room. The straps were difficult to adjust and they fit rather awkwardly. I was wearing one of my many MDS T-shirts, my favourite everyday go-to item in my closet. And I thought, if I ever go back to a project to work on the job site, I might just have to get a pair of these for kicks.

And I went home later and looked up the word "epoch", but wasn't about to find out what all the unfamiliar words meant that I came across while reading Anne of Green Gables during my afternoon out.

March 24: Sometimes I just need to pretend I'm a pro chef. On Tuesday I attempted an authentic German meal, with help from my mom. I made Jaegerschnitzel, or German Hunter Schnitzel, and Spaetzle, which is a boiled dumpling. I considered finding a noodle to cook instead of Spaetzle, but after finding out how it's made, I had a real hankering to try it. Also, having had Spaetzle in Germany, I really wanted to try this.

I used a recipe I found online for the schnitzel, which was a bit of a task. Most recipes either called for packaged gravy mix or the sauce was mostly cream based. I wanted to make my own sauce if I was going to do this. So I used pork loin chops, and we discovered the secret to an awesome breading on schnitzel that fries really nice. I made the gravy out of beef broth, wine, flour and cream, which then had fried onions and mushrooms added to it. This was poured over the schnitzel and then sprinkled with fried bacon. The Spaetzle was an interesting endeavor. I didn't have a Spaetzle maker or a proper potato ricer, so I tried using a colander. Spaetzle is made from a simple dough made of milk, eggs, and flour. The dough is then ideally pressed through a Spaetzle maker, directly into a pot of boiling water. Once it's cooked, you toss them with melted butter, although I used bacon fat I had left over. To serve, I also spooned jaeger sauce onto it.

On a whole, it was good, and pork schnitzel like this has me spoiled. However, I have learned that I way overcalculate mushrooms when I buy them, and could have done with a fraction of what I bought. The gravy didn't thicken well, which was disappointing. I think if I make this again, I will try a different gravy recipe, or eliminate the wine and thicken it a little more. I'm a little undecided as to how much I liked the wine flavour in it. And it made a whole lot more gravy than necessary. Also, I discovered making Spaetzle using a colander does not really work, and dropping the dough into a pot with a spoon isn't great either.

But in the end, it was a good experience and I tried something new and unique.

March 25: I made dessert! Shocking, eh? I usually keep a good supply of frozen fruit in the freezer, especially berries, to use in yogurt and smoothies. I never would have thought that I would go crazy over sales at the grocery store, but with frozen fruit I often will. I saw a recipe on the back of one of the bags for a Berry Buckle and I thought it sounded yummy. Especially when I read you were supposed to serve it with ice cream. So this morning, being at a loss and tired of the cheater solutions, I ventured into the kitchen, even though we didn't need more dessert things.

This cake does take a good hour to bake, and I was hesitant even taking it out because, although the recipe said it would be moist and instructed not to overbake it, I was afraid the centre would be dough and berry juice. However, I let it rest awhile, served myself a nice warm slice with frozen yogurt, and poured a cup of Earl Grey, and it was delicious. Definitely did not disappoint!

In the afternoon, I tried some new exercises as part of my workout. One was an inchworm exercise. I didn't get very far before I fell on the ground laughing until I almost had tears. Gotta have fun!

Random note: I saw my first robin this year on the first day of spring. It's coming!!! :)

What Did I Do?: Shawarma and What I Have Wondered About the Irish

It's been a quiet week, and I've been able to keep up my resolution, weakly. Fighting a cold for three weeks means I don't have energy to get ambitious. So I've been trying to learn things more through what comes up or finding online articles.

March 12: While reading in the books of Acts, something caught my attention. I was reading about Paul being shipwrecked on the island of Malta, and the writer mentions Publius, referring to him as "the chief man" on the island who owned a lot of the land. Publius offered his hospitality for a few days. His father was sick with dysentery, and Paul healed him and Publius was converted. That made me ask who Publius was. Luke had basically said that this guy was the "head honcho" around there and that he owned a lot of the land. So who exactly was he? My research led me to learn that he was the governor, and was later honoured as the first Bishop of Malta. He's also considered a patron saint. Both the Roman Catholic Church and the Orthodox Church observe a feast in his honour. I was a little conflicted by some of this, not sure what to make of it.

I have determined that if I looked up all the unfamiliar words I read in Anne of Green Gables, I would probably greatly expand my vocabulary. I learned that a manse was the "the house, owned by a congregation, of an esp. Presbyterian or United Church minister".

March 13: I learned about the Cross Bones Cemetery in England. Beginning in the 1100s, it was an unconsecrated burial ground for prostitutes, and also became the final resting place of countless others, not deemed worthy of a burial anywhere else, the poor, and the destitute. It has since become a memorial. This is a painful reminder of how society makes distinctions between people and makes unjust judgments about what others are worthy of.

March 14: On Saturday, I learned a few different random things. Something stuck out to me in the morning while reading in Romans.

"For I bear them witness that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. For, being ignorant of the righteousness of God, and seeking to establish their own, they did not submit to God's righteousness. For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes." --Romans 10:2-4

I had never understood it this way before. People that establish their own righteousness, living by a set of rules, do not understand the righteousness of God, the righteousness that comes from faith.

I also learned about some common things that happen in Dubai, one of the world's richest cities, that would seem downright crazy to many of us. Wild cats ride in the front seats of cars with people as their pets. They have ATMs that give you gold and extra wide Jeeps that look like two smushed together. Camels are tied up in parking lots, much like horses with buggies are in my hometown. There are ice cafes in the desert that serve hot drinks. Yep, it's an interesting world.

March 14 was also Pi Day, to celebrate the mathematical constant pi. It was designated in 2009. I didn't know we needed a day to celebrate pi. Why can't we celebrate pie instead?

March 15: On Sunday I tried shawarma at Laziz in London. Shawarma is a meat stacked and roasted on a rotating spit, and is then served with other toppings and condiments in a pita. I've had gyros and other pita wraps before, but never shawarma. I was disappointed that cheese does not belong on shawarma. Nevertheless, I got my chicken shawarma topped with hummus, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, pickles, pickled turnip, tabouli and tzatziki sauce, all wrapped up in a pita. I had never had turnips before, and pickled turnips are definitely not my thing. Tabouli is interesting. It's a salad made of bulgar wheat, chopped parsley, onions, tomatoes, garlic, etc. That added a refreshing element. All in all, shawarma is pretty good, but it's not my new favourite. We had fun exploring the Middle Eastern store and butcher shop, looking at the different kinds of cultural food items. At least now I know where I can definitely find tahini if I want to make my own hummus. 

March 16: Thomas Edison was a thief! And he almost seemed proud of it! I couldn't believe it. He ended up bankrupting George Melies, the first master filmmaker, after he stole and pirated his film A Trip to the Moon. The filmmaker stopped making films by 1914 because of lack of money.

March 17: In honour of St. Patrick's Day, I set out to learn relevant Irish information. Saint Patrick was abducted as a teenager and sold into slavery in another country. There he adopted his parents' faith while enslaved, but eventually ran away and journeyed back to his home country. Here he became a priest. He then willingly returned to the country where he was enslaved and served the poor. It's sad that the way the day is celebrated is so far removed from how it all started.

But, what I really wanted to know was where the line "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" came from and how it came to be on countless T-shirts. This was an observation I made a number of years ago when I went to the Embro Highland Games and wondered what the point was. Why do you want people to kiss you just because your're Irish? Well, it turns out the phrase came from the Blarney Stone. Kissing the Blarney Stone in Blarney Castle was believed to bring good luck and make a person a smooth talker. But if you couldn't kiss the Blarney Stone, the next best thing or chance at good luck was to kiss an Irish person.

March 18: This past fall I began using oregano oil to boost my immune system, since I'm prone to get colds and coughs on about a monthly basis from the fall into spring. This winter I was determined I was not going through that cycle again and I wanted to strengthen my immune system. Oregano oil is expensive, but I was able to make a 10mL bottle last about 5 months. Aside from a few days or a week here or there where I felt a little under the weather, it did the job until just a few weeks ago. I had recently bought another bottle, 30mL of a different brand this time, which cost me less than the first bottle I bought. But I noticed immediately it didn't have the same strength as the first. Oregano oil has a very strong taste, and I found I could tolerate more with the second bottle. That's because I discovered it was diluted with olive oil. But what I really wondered about was how it said it contained minimum 80% carvacrol. I finally wanted to know what this stuff was, and whether this was further compromising the strength of the oil. 

It turns out carvacrol is a monoterpenoid phenol (whatever that is) found in the essential oils of oregano, thyme, pepperwort, wild bergamot, marjoram and savory. It prevents the growth of different types of bacteria. So it's not that my oregano oil is diluted with a completely different substance, but I'm still going back to a more expensive brand once this bottle is gone.

I also got to try Reid Chocolates. I really like chocolate, but fancy chocolate like this was  real treat.

Spring Brings New Life....In a Messy Sort of Way

In the past couple weeks, my life has taken me on a journey of highs and lows. Although most people would never know what I've all been processing and what's been happening, there has been a process of breaking and healing happening. And it feels strangely reminiscent of former years. It seems so often that this time of year for me is a time of painful growth. And then I looked outside and found that my life inside is strangely reminiscent of the world outside.

Spring is coming! There's hope. The freezing winter temperatures are giving way to numbers above zero! It's so exciting. And I look forward to sunshine, warm weather, robins, daffodils, the beach. But today when I look outside, it's kind of yuck. You see, spring doesn't come overnight and the process often leaves things a little messy. As temperatures rise, the snow melts and the white picturesque landscape gives way to one a little less picturesque. Mounds and drifts of snow that were once glistening white get dirty as they shrink and melt away. Patches of exposed earth reveal mud, debris, and dead grass. Nighttime brings in fog and thick mists that last into the afternoon, making very little distinguishable in the distance. Winter was beautiful and summer will be too, but for awhile things look a little dreary and gross. Ah, this is so reminiscent of what has happened in my spiritual life so many times.

The weather as it is now makes for great maple syrup weather. With freezing temperatures at night and single digits warm during the day, the sap is running. But in order for that sap to become the rich, amber syrup I pour on my pancakes, it has to go through a long refining process. The sap is greatly reduced and purified as it's boiled down more and more. Ah, this too, is reminiscent of my life.

As I reflect on the last eight years of my life, the spring months have often been difficult. They have also often been seasons of growth, seasons where I have drawn closer to God, or gotten to know His love more deeply. They have been seasons where the direction of my life has taken a dramatic change. I have left one path to take another people couldn't understand. I have wrestled with God, as He broke my will, brought me to confession, repentance, and painful obedience. I have been in such dark, deep valleys I wished I could just go home to be with Jesus instead of face what was ahead. They have been times of physical illness or spiritual healing as I worked through deep pain and brokenness. They have been seasons like the one I see outside right now. The ice and snow melting away to reveal an ugliness I would much rather keep blanketed in white.

And it has been in these times where I have gotten to know God more. These times happen at other times of the year, not just the spring months. The times I get to know the Father that loves, cherishes and holds me, the One who chastens me because of the depths of His love for me, and breaks me so He can clean and heal the wounds. I get to know Jesus more, the Lover and Prince Who pursues me relentlessly, and wants to take me as His bride. I learn to understand the Spirit, that the conviction I often experience is evidence that I am indeed a child of God, and that He does not ask something of me without giving the comfort, peace and strength to do it. I get to know the God who breaks me and heals me, gently asks me to face the pain, not to hurt me, but because He desperately wants to use it for good. 

It's times, like the moments in the last few weeks that I feel God in a way I can't explain, even when I'm not doing anything normally considered spiritual. It's in the moments that I sense He is moving and saying something, even if I can't understand what it is. It's in the moments, my joy turns to tears because of what I feel inside...He's there. The time I look outside and see the melting snow creating pools and streams, the fog that clouds everything over, and I know this is what it's like. This is what it's often like when God moves and does something new. Sometimes it gets ugly and messy and we have to face a lot of uncomfortable stuff, and things are cloudy and for awhile we can't see clearly what's in front of us. It's when I think of the maple trees and how the sap has to be refined and I see, this is what the Christian life is like. Or just the moments I smile when I see a little girl with Down Syndrome delightedly licking away at a giant swirly lollipop (the kind most parents can't stand) and I feel like I see Jesus.

Can we hold on to these moments? The moments God speaks and brings new life, the moments He shows us His love, or the way He reveals things to us in the simple, everyday things, or the changing of the seasons?

And I think how in just a few weeks the church will celebrate the death, burial, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus, wherein lies our salvation, our hope of eternal life. We always celebrate in spring, amid all the symbols of new life. In spring, we celebrate the New Life that He came to give. And when it happened, it was a messy Spring. It was an agonizing spring that brought that new life, the hardest Jesus had to endure. The grief that made Him drip blood like sweat. The brutal torture he endured. The death He died on a cross as He bore the sin of man and the wrath of God. The darkness that covered the earth as men feared and trembled. The three silent days when those who loved Him feared hope was lost.

Then in one moment. The empty tomb. The shed grave clothes. NEW LIFE!

 But oh, it was a messy Spring.

In order for life to happen, things often get messy first, or downright painful. We see it in nature, in the changing of the seasons, and in the cross. Any mother that has ever given birth can certainly testify to this truth as well. But following the pain, that baby takes it's first breath and utters a cry....and it's beautiful.

Right now things look somewhat dreary and messy outside. But the days are coming where the grass will be thick and lush, the flowers will bloom, the trees will bud, and the robins will sing. And God desires to do the same things in our lives, to bring life and healing out of darkness and pain, to make beautiful what is dirty and messy now.

This is what God does. He brings new life in messy ways. And sometimes we have to wrestle with Him to get it.

"When we get so close to God in our wrestling that He breathes on us, life happens." --Trudy Metzger

What Did I Do?: Masks, Funnel Cake, and Whip Kicks

Well, I'm feeling the hurt of lack of creativity, but I'm trying and learning new things nonetheless.

March 5: Last Wednesday, I saw an interesting snippet in the local newspaper, but it didn't occur to me that it was something new. The next day, I pulled that snippet out of a newspaper and got it drilled in my mind. According to The Aylmer Express, "Daylight Savings Time was originally instituted during the First Great War as a way to save energy in Europe, U.S.A. and Canada. It was cancelled at the end of the war but reinstituted during the Second Great War." I did not know that. I know that I don't mind falling back, but springing forward is a little more difficult to adjust to.

March 6: Although I'm not really into a whole lot of beauty stuff, what do I do on a day I feel under the weather? Pamper myself, of course! So I attempted the facial mask. I had researched some different recipes, many of which seemed pretty straightforward. I found some interesting ones, like the one that used ground coffee and cocoa, but I couldn't justify wasting a 1/4 cup of expensive Hershey's cocoa on my face. Another one that intrigued me was one for acne-prone/acne-scarred skin, which called for a pureed onion. But then it occurred to me that putting pureed onion on my face could become an emotional ordeal. In the end, I settled for grinding up some oatmeal in my Bullet, adding some honey and water. It smelled good. And I confess, I ate some before putting it on my face.

The facial is supposed to tighten your skin, and my skin definitely felt tight with oatmeal drying on it! I won't post pictures of that, because I don't look so good with breakfast on my face. But while I was waiting for 15-20 minutes, I sang this simple song, which has been on my mind a lot lately, and seemed fitting for the occasion.

"I have so many masks to cover up and hide."

Washing all the oatmeal off was a bit tedious, and I found myself thinking "I don't think I'm going to do it this again." But afterwards when I saw and felt how nice my face was, I wasn't so sure anymore. Who knows?

March 7: After my shift at work Saturday, I fried myself a funnel cake. I had never had a funnel cake before, and although we unfortunately didn't have ice cream or berry sauce or any other kind of yummyness to put on it, we did have whipped cream. Oodles of sweet, fatty goodness!

March 8: On Sunday, I saw a video about how to use a seam sipper in a way I didn't know. Not that I sew. In truth, the thought of sewing terrifies me. I would do just about any household chore before trying to sew. But if I do try, the seam ripper has to be handy.

Then I also read an article from which I learned some new things, although it also left me somewhat disturbed and disgusted. In 1951, doctors could take tissue samples from patients and use them for research without the patient's permission. And so, one woman's cells were mass reproduced and sold for research and other medical and scientific discoveries. I had very mixed feelings about the situation, especially when something is taken from a person and turned into a multibillion-dollar industry without their knowledge.

March 9: In my swim class, I tried learning the whip kick. By this I mean there was a whole lot of kicking going on, but I wasn't going much of anywhere. I can almost guarantee people that if they were in a pool with me during one of my lessons, the two phrases they would hear out of my mouth most often would be "I hate this!" and "I can't do this!" Thankfully, I'm not ready to give up. I enjoy it, even when I'm frustrated, can't figure something out, or just don't have the strength and endurance. I do sometimes wonder what people think of me when they see my talking to myself, trying to talk myself through what I'm supposed to do, or should have done before sinking below the surface again. However, I did have a great conversation with the lifeguard afterward, just encouraging each other in our faith, and swimming has been one thing I'm so glad I'm learning.

March 10: Since I would like to learn how to knit and crochet, an article about the history of knitting caught my attention on Knowledge Nuts. It turns out, men used to knit professionally while women weren't allowed. There were guilds that men could get into but it was about as difficult to become a professional knitter as becoming a blacksmith. Only in the Victorian Era did knitting become a hobby dominated by women.

March 11: On Wednesday morning, I was reading in the book of Acts, and in Acts 22, the word "tribune" caught my attention. It occurred to me I didn't know what a tribune was. I held that thought and kept reading, becoming aware of the number of times the words "tribune" or "tribunal" came up. Then I headed to my computer for some research, and I learned more than I initially anticipated.

According to Dictionary.com, one of the definitions of "tribune" is as follows:

" 1. a person who upholds or defends the rights of the people
2. Roman History
a. any of various administrative officers, especially one of 10 officers elected to protect the interests and rights of the plebeians from the patricians
b. any of the six officers of a legion who rotated in commanding the legion during the year."

Between the dictionary and Wikipedia, I learned a number of things. Plebeians were the common body of free Roman citizens, while patricians were the ruling class of ancient Rome. A tribunal was a raised platform where officials would take their seats.

Going back to the text with this knowledge, a lot more made sense now. When the centurion was going to flog Paul in Acts 22:22-30, he called the tribune. It was the tribune's job to intervene on Paul's behalf, a common Roman citizen. This also explains why, when Paul's nephew comes to Paul in the barracks to tell him about the ambush planned against him in Acts 23, Paul asks the centurion to take his nephew to the tribune to speak to him. This tribune was Claudius Lysias. Lysias actually comes on the scene already in Acts 21, but it didn't occur to me then to ask what a tribune was.

There were also military tribunes as mentioned in Acts 25:23. And although I'm not exactly sure what he meant, Paul says he's standing before Caesar's tribunal in Acts 25:10. So I don't know what everything means, but what I learned does give me a better understanding of what's going on in these chapters. I also learned that the barracks referenced in Acts 21-23 when connected to Lysias's cohort, refers to the Tower of Antonia, which was rebuilt by Herod. This tower was located on the northwest side of the temple in Jerusalem.

Isn't it funny how often I can read something over and over again and never really know what it means? Sometimes it's just because I'm too lazy to put the effort into finding out. But I'm glad I'm taking the time this year to put in the effort.

What Did I Do?: Engagement Rings!

I took it really easy this week, and although I didn't learn or do much of anything really excited, my mind has been more than occupied. I have been reminded this week that I am so not in control of my life and every day is a blank page. A lot of what is going to be written on those pages will depend on whether or not I am willing to yield to God's calling, whether it's at home where I am or somewhere else.

February 26: On Thursday night, I had dinner with a friend, and since way too many people seemed to want the $11.95 steak dinner in one restaurant, we hopped over to Crabby Joe's instead of waiting 15 minutes for a table. There I enjoyed a Peppercorn Chicken BLT Sandwich and a bowl of Wicked Thai Soup. A soup with the word "wicked" in it is going to get my attention. It was a creamy, spicy rose soup with chicken, rice, mushrooms and veggies. Good, but a small portion at once is plenty. Too much is certainly not good for my IBS tummy.

February 27: On Friday, my eye caught an intriguing link to a site where you could find out what the #1 hit song was on the day you were born. I don't know who keeps track of this stuff for all those years, but apparently on my birthday, the #1 hit was "Black or White" by Michael Jackson. This led me to learn some more interesting things. I won't share the video here, because, well, it's a Michael Jackson video.

February 28: Earlier in the week, my eye caught an article on Knowledge Nuts about the history of engagement rings. Not that this would be something that would intrigue a young woman like me or anything! Of course I wanted to know! But I must say it was rather disappointing. It's pretty much just so big companies can make big money. Since medieval times, when a man promised to marry a woman, it was a legally binding contract. If a man broke off the engagement, his fiancee could sue him. The law, in this way, provided some insurance to the woman, who would have a more difficult time marrying if she was previously engaged. Beginning in the 1930s in America, states began to do away with this "breach of promise to marry" law, and DeBeers saw the opportunity to market an engagement ring! This way the suitor had to make an investment to get engaged and it provided an "insurance" to the woman that the law no longer did. If the man broke off the engagement, the woman still had the ring. Now though, a woman is expected to return the ring if an engagement is broken off. Although engagement rings have some earlier history, it seems the real reason they became common was to make money.

This was really disappointing. I was expecting something much more romantic. However, I admit, I still want a man down on one knee to put a shiny, diamond ring on my hand some day as I say "Yes" to being his wife.

March 1: So, about this resolution of mine. Some days I forget about it, then I remember, then I forget about it again, and then all of a sudden I remember again. Sunday was such a day. So late in the evening, I was flipping through a dictionary again.

"cassoulet: a stew of beans with pork, mutton, and either duck or goose"

Done. I can go to sleep now.

March 2: On Monday, I dragged myself to the pool, but it turned out to be a better lesson than I had anticipated. I can swim on my back, but this week, my instructor taught me strokes, so now I can do an actual back crawl. Although it felt really crazy at first, I learned much quicker than I had anticipated. I wish it was all that easy. The front crawl has been my thorn. Last week I almost drowned myself working on it. It would be so much easier if I didn't have to turn my head out of the water to breathe and then keep swimming.

March 3: Snow stormy days make for a good excuse to bake, right? Naw, I don't need an excuse to bake. I just bake! So I made carrot brownies. No, they don't have any chocolate in them. It was more like carrots, orange juice and oatmeal. Kind of like a carrot cake, but a different flavour. I got a little carried away making the glaze. Without thinking, I dumped a bunch of milk in my icing sugar at once. So it was really runny and clumpy. How does one fix this? Just add more icing sugar! So, with the help of a whisk, I got a smooth glaze, although much more than necessary.  But what am I going to do with leftover glaze? However, as I looked at the edges nearly drowning, with only a little left in my bowl, I said, "I think I better stop now."

March 4: Wednesday I learned something strange. Some crazy guy by the name of James Moran sat on an ostrich egg in 1947 for 19 days and successfully made it hatch. He did all kinds of crazy stunts, and people paid him to do it. He was a publicity agent, which made me ask, "What's a publicity agent?" Well, publicity agents help draw attention to people, products, events, etc., and I guess James Moran was the guy to do it.

Furthermore, I researched recipes for facial masks, which is something I want to try. You'll get to read about that next week!

What Did I Do?: Ueberraschung!

Well, I feel like I'm finally getting caught up on things I was behind on and moving ahead. I must say I have been feeling a little computer illiterate trying to adjust to this new piece of technology. As you will no doubt notice, when I'm busy, I'm not very creative with new ideas. It's made even more difficult when I'm left without a computer to research anything on. I also lost part of my idea list, so I have to try to remember some of my ideas.

February 19: I won! 

On Thursday, I won an interesting Facebook challenge posted by my friend Kevin Abell. The prize? This Monroe thermometer. I don't think I've ever won a Facebook conversation before and it's also my first picture with Kevin.

 February 20: According to Knowledge Nuts, people have a false idea of how many rats there are in the world, particularly in big cities. News sources have exaggerated the numbers, saying there are twice as many rats in New York City as there are people, but it's not true. Personally, I think I only ever saw one rat while in NYC, that was running along the subway track. I admit I got pretty excited about it. Maybe it's because of signs like this one that I didn't see more.  Yep, I had to take a picture of one.

February 21: On Saturday, I learned about bed bugs, how to detect them, and identify bed bug bites. I had a bit of a freak out on the weekend, but now I can rest assured I don't have bed bugs.

February 22: On Sunday, I tried eating a kiwi with the skin. I really like kiwi when it's ripe and sweet and I've heard of people eating the whole thing, but the fuzzy skin has never appealed to me. Well, I determined to try it, especially after watching my nephew munch through the skin and explain how healthy it was. I looked at the kiwi before eating it with more contempt than a piece of raw fish. I managed one crunchy sour bite, then sliced it in half and scooped the inside out with a spoon. But now I can say I've tried it. If it had been a little riper, it might have not been so bad.

February 23: I can't wait for the day I can go to the pool in a T-shirt or even a sweater. It's way too cold. But to another swim class I did go, and it was rather grueling. I hadn't been to the pool in two weeks and not having exercised since my last class didn't help. I'm still learning not to drink pool water when I sink. When I came up coughing and sputtering to no end, people stared at me like I almost drowned or something. It reminded me of a similar experience I had a few years ago in the Atlantic Ocean. It was a little traumatic.

I also learned some interesting things about James Dole, "the Pineapple King" who turned the whole Hawaiian island of Lana'i into the world's biggest pineapple plantation. In 1927, he offered a $35,000 cash prize for the winner of an airplane race from California to Hawaii. The conditions were very dangerous. Add that airplanes weren't exactly what they are today and that nobody had ever flown to Hawaii before. Many entered the race but only two actually finished it. Ten people died trying. In the end, the winner shared the prize money with the second contestant to finish, but alas, they weren't the first people to fly to Hawaii. Two army pilots got there before the race started.

So that was tragic and James Dole felt really bad, for good reason. But back in 1913, his company made a machine that peeled 100 pineapples a minute. That's pretty cool. It would take me entirely too long to just peel one. I'm afraid though I might feel a little guilty from now on when I buy Dole pineapples. Not fair.

February 24: You know those annoying parking meters? Well, I found out who came up with that idea. Carl Magee, a U.S. reporter invented the parking meter. He was an interesting man who exposed corruption. However, he also shot and killed a bystander when he got into a fight with a corrupt judge he had just berated in his newspaper. The judge didn't get shot as intended, but someone else did. He was acquitted, however, and when he moved to Oklahoma City, he came up with the idea of the parking meter in 1932, in order to resolve the city's massive parking problem.

February 25: What I'm about to share next should be taken with a grain of salt. I apologize to my readership who won't be able to understand much of what I will share next, and to my Mennonite, Low German speaking readership, I apologize for my horrible spelling. I never did become proficient in reading or writing my mother tongue. Also, I can't use an umlaut, so I have to improvise. And I'm definitely about to become less serious.

I learned a number of new things through an afternoon of browsing a Mennonite cookbook compiled in Mexico. I must say it provided a fair share of amusement to me, a Mennonite born and raised in Canada. Although my roots are in Mexico, I've only been there to visit a handful of times. What made this cookbook particularly interesting was the different German words they use for things. It seems to have a wealth of great recipes if you can figure out how to read and understand them. In all likelihood, this cook book is correct in the German it uses, and the Low German language I'm used to is just so far removed.

Something I have often noticed is that our Low German vocabulary is rather small. We don't seem to have words for a lot of things, or we just take English words and pronounce them to sound German. And there are things that are just different between German and Low German. Well, to understand this cookbook, I think you needed to be proficient in German, Low German, English, Spanish and possess some imagination. It also seemed they have some food products in Mexcio that we don't have in Canada, or perhaps we just couldn't understand them. There were a number of canned milks that showed up in recipes, but we could only figure out evaporated milk for certain.

My favourite word I learned was ueberraschung, which means surprise. This was through a recipe for Schokoladenueberraschung. To learn that ueberraschung meant surprise was a surprise! I didn't know we had a word for surprise! Maybe if someone had thrown me an "ueberraschung geburtstag fest" when I was a kid, I would know this stuff! I also think the word sounds an awful lot like our Low German word for "backwards", but maybe that's just me.

We figured out that plaetzchen are cookies and kuchen is cake. To me, kuchen means cookies and cake is cake. And we figured out that kekse are cupcakes. Karrotten Kuchen is carrot cake, but I say "gelmehren." We eventually determined zimt meant cinnamon, since it was in with recipes for Cinnamon Rolls. At home, that's still just koernel rollen to me. When providing instructions for icing cookies or cakes, it uses the word "streiche", oba ekj do kuchen beschmeiren. Schokoladenschnitzel are chocolate chips. I get the chocolate part, but to me schnitzel is milanesa.


One of the ones that had us stumped for awhile was Schlagsahne, which we finally concluded was whipping cream, or whipped cream. To me, cream is Schmaunt, and if I'm reading a German recipe, it's Rahm. This made me wonder, if whipping cream is Schlagsahne, then what do they call Schmauntfaht? There are a lot more examples, but I simply can't write about them all.

Ah, yes, we Mennonites are a unique people with a unique language, and we could argue with no end about words and pronunciations! With this cookbook, the nice thing is if you need clarification on a recipe, it not only provides the name of the woman who submitted the recipe, but also her Campo number, phone number, and husband's name if applicable.

In the end, what is my conclusion to this matter? Dit es bloss nicht wo wie dat gelieht han!

And for the song I was singing constantly this week.

"If you wanna know how far My love can go
Just how deep, just how wide
If you wanna see how much you mean to Me
Look at My hands, look at My side
If you could count the times I'd say you are forgiven
It's more than the drops in the ocean." --"Drops in the Ocean" by Hawk Nelson

What Did I Do?: Raw Sushi!

I'm finally back! I got a new laptop, had a busy weekend, and now I'm hoping to finally be able to reorganize and catch up on things. It was a hard week. If humiliation could kill me on the spot, I would have been done last week. I am thankful for grace, even when I lose sight of it and try to keep my head above the water myself.  A bit more on that later, but first, what did I do?

February 12: On Thursday, my whole morning started bizarre. I stole (I mean, ahem, picked up) a shield from somebody's car that had gotten stuck under my car and was dragging along the road, which made me stop on a busy city road to get out and dislodge it. Yeah, that's a mouthful. I also had a Coffee Culture craving for some time, which I don't indulge easily because it's a little more pricey. But I needed to try something new, so I got a Chocolate Chai Latte and a Spinach & Feta Twister. Two lattes and said pastry cost me a whopping $14. It was good, but certainly overpriced. I came home only to discover my laptop seemed like it had finally died. It lasted five and a half years and had given me fair warning that it was in its last days, so I had most of my important files backed up. Even so, such things are an inconvenience. And I learned, never splurge on unnecessary things because I think I'll be okay financially. Always be prepared for the unexpected.

February 13: Working at an arena, I serve a ton of fries with those little wooden fry forks. One of the condiments we put out is malt vinegar. I don't get what the deal is with malt vinegar, or why people want it on their fries. I couldn't recall ever having put even white vinegar on my fries. So, in a little time to breathe, I threw in some extra fries for me and ate fries topped with malt vinegar and a little fry fork.

Rest assured, I don't serve such epic proportions of food to my customers. I merely wanted a taste, lest I shouldn't like it. But I found it rather enjoyable. Then I took the rest of the fries and turned it into a poutine. I don't easily crave it, but did it ever hit the spot. And then my craving was satisfied for some time.

February 14: On busy days, I take it pretty easy. After having some awesome sweet potato wedges and ribs for dinner, I had a "double date" on Valentine's Day. Translation: I took my nephews to a hockey game and they loved it. I'm not sure I've had sweet potato fries or wedges before, but these were certainly the best ones I've had.

Also, just to fluff my day, I pulled out a dictionary. Yay for printed dictionaries when the computer is down.

curare: a resinous bitter substance prepared from certain S American plants, paralyzing the motor nerves, formerly used to poison arrows by Aboriginals of S America, and as a muscle relaxant in surgery

February 15: Sunday was definitely the highlight of my week! I heard a faculty member from Heritage College & Seminary, had a shift a work, and then had a special sushi outing for dinner. I had a Japanese teacher one year in grade school, and she introduced us to a California roll kind of sushi, so I had had sushi like that before. But one thing on my list this year was to try raw sushi. I had never been so excited to eat raw meat!

Of course, I had to take pictures for my readers. I started off with some sort of crab sushi.

This is a spicy salmon roll.

This, I believe, was the spicy dragon roll. This was one of my favourites. The orange sprinkles are fish eggs. They added some texture. So now I've had raw fish AND fish eggs.

A yummy fried tempura shrimp. It was so good I just kept eating. Then I noticed something crunchy.... Don't eat the tail!

I had some of whatever this is too.

This here was as hardcore as I was able to go: a slice of raw salmon on top of rice. I had two little bites of one piece and I was done. I determined I am not ready to brave sushimi, which is just a piece of raw fish.

I even braved a teensy tiny bit of green wasabi.

Fiddled with chopsticks and dropped one of the floor. Had a mango salad, which was good aside from the fact that the mangos were green.

I tried green tea ice cream for dessert and finished with a cream puff and some cheesecake. All that was missing was the coffee.

February 16: pareve: "(of food) being or containing neither meat nor dairy and so kosher for use with either, according to the dietary laws (includes fruit, vegetables, fish, etc.)"

Pareve is an adjective pertaining to Judaism, but does anyone else find that definition confusing?

February 17: I made Garlic Bubble Loaves on Tuesday to go with a pasta casserole for lunch. It was one of the funnest breads I have made. You shape the dough into little balls, and then roll them in melted butter mixed with garlic powder and parsley flakes, then place them in loaf pans. It was super fluffy.

Carbs are supposed to make up the largest part of my diet, right?

February 18: And finally, I was reading Anne of Green Gables on Wednesday, where Anne talks about a piece of poetry that she likes, or rather two lines in particular.

"Quick as the slaughtered squadrons fell
In Midian's evil day."

Anne doesn't know what 'squadrons' means, and it occurred to me that I didn't either, although I had a slight idea. So I looked it up.

"squadron n
1. a principal division of an armoured or cavalry regiment consisting of two or more troops.
2. the basic administrative unit of an air force, usu. consisting of two or more flights.
3. a formal unit in a navy consisting of a number of ships.
4. often jocular an organized body of people or things."


Now, back to one of my thoughts from the beginning. In the midst of a slightly crazy week, this song was on my mind a lot last week. I go to music a lot when I'm down. This is probably my favourite song so far from For King & Country.

"My help comes from You
You're right here, pulling me through
You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness all on Your shoulders
Your shoulders
My help comes from You
You are my rest, my rescue
I don't have to see to believe that You're lifting me up on Your shoulders
Your shoulders" --"Shoulders" by For King & Country

What Did I Do?: New Desk, Snow Head, and The Message

I've had a busy and eventful week. I feel like I've accomplished some things. This post is late because Thursday I found myself without a functional laptop, and then I had a really busy weekend. I'm hoping to get a new laptop this week, but I can't promise my next post will be on time. So my updates may go back a little ways.

February 5: I tried my first bottle of Vitamin Water. I'm not a fan of flavoured water, but this is a little different. I chose the lemonade flavour, which is the most popular flavour where I work. It was pretty good. I'm getting a good dose of vitamins in liquid form for my body to be able to absorb easily. It had a pretty good flavour, but that is because there's also 32 grams of sugar in a bottle. So...you're being healthy, but only kind of.

February 6: On Friday, I finally decided to get rid of the old office desk I was using and buy a new one. The desk I have been working on for the last year in a half was in really sad shape. I had to clean my room and office, and I figured getting rid of the old desk was a good start. One less thing to clean, right? So I took all of it apart, and took all the wood out to the garage. Then I headed to the store in search for the desk I had seen advertised in their flyer. It took awhile. There was one in stock and it was in a trailer, so I decided to buy the product without actually seeing it. As the employee loaded it into my car (the box just barely fitting into my back seat), I asked about how heavy it was. He gave me an estimate of about 60 pounds, maybe more. My next thought is, how am I going to get this big, awkward, heavy box into the house and up the stairs to my office? The box was a LOT heavier than 60 pounds, and after getting it into the house with help, I unpacked it on the kitchen floor and carried the pieces up to my office.

Late that afternoon, I began the task of figuring out all the pieces and getting the frame together. Anyone who has seen me try to use tools and do physical work that requires thinking of this sort would understand the significance of this. Luckily, all I needed for tools were two screw drivers and a hammer. I really wanted to finish it Friday night, but after 10pm and still quite a ways to go, I decided it was best to call it a night if I wanted to function the next day. And when I did that, I realized I had done something wrong with the drawer I had started assembling. Well, for my first time trying to put together a desk, I figured I was doing all right.

I finished it the next night, after working for a couple more hours and getting the drawers put together right. I must say I felt rather proud of myself. I could follow instructions after all...for the most part!

February 7: Aside from finishing my desk, I consulted Knowledge Nuts once again to learn something new. I learned that during the prohibition, the U.S. government ordered manufacturers to put poisons into alcohols, especially those commonly used to distill into other drinks. An estimated 10,000 people died from it and thousands more became seriously ill. That's bad. Just saying.

February 8: Sunday afternoon, I ventured outside into the cold and freezing rain intending to build my first upside down snowman. My determination wasn't as strong as I thought. I'm a wimp when it comes to cold. But hey, "Do you want to build a snowman?"

Well, I couldn't get the snow to pack together enough to build a body. And it was cold, and windy, and icy. So it ended up being a photo shoot with a snow head. Hmm.

"Strawberry lips, shining in the summer sun." It's more than just a song. Oh wait, it's winter.

Does anybody else look at these pictures and want to scream "Wilson!"

And anybody who thought perhaps I was crazy but wasn't quite sure is a little less doubtful now! There are days I'm amazed I don't die laughing at myself.

Oh, and I learned what a pangolin is, although I only learned how to spell it now while writing this. Looking at a picture of the animal, it reminds me of an armadillo. The meat is considered a delicacy in Vietnam and China and the pangolin can only be found in six zoos around the world.

February 9: Monday I braved icy conditions to go to my swim class again. The technique my instructor was determined to get me to master was learning to swim on my back, roll over to a front crawl, roll onto my back to breathe, and roll back to a front crawl. That was not the end goal of this exercise. I think I have to wait until my next lesson to get there.

In the evening, I enjoyed going to visit some friends for dinner and had Brazilian Cheese Buns. These are a unique, gluten free bun, with a nice cheesy flavour. They complimented the tasty soup well.

February 10: On Tuesday morning, I put aside my religiosity and read The Message for my devotions. My response to this is very lengthy and I shared it on Wednesday in my article "You're NOT Hopeless (Despite What The Message May Suggest)". I encourage you to read it if you haven't already done so.

I also had the opportunity on Tuesday to read Fifty Shades of Loved edited by Rachel Starr Thomson. It's a good, quick read that points to a true Love, as opposed to this world's counterfeits. One of the writers shared something that gave me a good laugh and I think it describes the mindset of a lot of single young women.

"I am in distress at all times and in a myriad of ways--I'm broke, I'm lonely, I'm fat, I'm hungry, I can't carry all the groceries, I can't lift my sofa to retrieve my remote, etc.--and I have been waiting for Mr. Save-My-Life to sweep me off my feet, solve all my problems, and make me feel good about myself. I try to put myself out there and let him know where I am and what I am doing based on my iPhone locator. When is that dude on FB I've been creepin' on going to get the hint from my damsel-in-distress status updates?" --Fifty Shades of Loved

Yep, that pretty much sums it up!

February 11: I tried a new recipe for Oatmeal Drop Cookies. They had quick oats, oat bran, raisins and walnuts. They're okay, but not on the definitely-have-to-make-these-again list.

Random note: Now I get excited when I see other people learning something new, or even aspiring to learn new things.

You're NOT Hopeless (Despite What The Message May Suggest)

Note: Prior to reading this, I want the reader to understand a few things. It has been a long time since I have written something like this. What follows is my perspective on a paraphrase of the Bible, but more than that, it's the truth I came to see through it. This is about so much more than The Message.  I make no efforts to be politically correct. I don't think I need to. Even if you don't agree with my perspective on The Message, or my faith, I ask you to consider the rest of what I have to say. Please, please, read down to the end.

As part of my New Year's Resolution, yesterday I decided to read The Message, Eugene Peterson's paraphrase of the Bible, for my devotions. I had never read The Message before, except for excerpts quoted in books. To say I don't think highly of Bible paraphrases is putting it lightly, but the opinion is not based on much personal experience. I currently read the ESV, and aside from that I most frequently go back to the KJV, although I have also read a few other translations.

Reading The Message for myself was about putting my religiosity aside. It was about actually reading something for myself instead of just forming opinions based on what I read from other sources. I basically picked up where I was reading and ended up reading Matthew 20 - 24, which I had to do online, since I don't have a print copy. I decided, that as much as I wanted to, I was not going to pick up my ESV Bible and compare while reading. Having said that, this morning I read through the same chapters in the ESV.

As I was reading through the passages, a lot of it, especially the parables, didn't surprise me too much. It reminded me of how a speaker might expound on a passage in his message to simplify it or help the reader understand what is being said. I felt that there was some inconsistency in the language used. Peterson seemed to randomly switch between staying close to the original text and using modern language and analogies.

There were several times I found myself going "Really?!" in disbelief at how Peterson said something. At other times, I admit I had ideas of how he could have said something better. Before I go any further and get to the real point of my article, I want to say this: What I'm not saying is that people shouldn't read The Message. I can see that it could be useful, and also allows the reader to understand what something might look like today, that we can't necessarily relate to in 2015 North America. However, I do not think it can be read as the Word of God for solid teaching and instruction. It could be a useful supplement, but I don't think it should be used as a primary source for teaching and searching for truth.

As I read, I think the chapter that unsettled me the most was Matthew 23. Here Peterson deviates a lot from Jesus actually said and replaces with modern analogies. Where Jesus pronounces woes on the scribes and Pharisees, Peterson writes "I've had it with you! You're hopeless, you religion scholars, you Pharisees! Frauds!" (Matthew 23:13) The ESV translation says "But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!" In the following verses, where the ESV uses "Woe to you", Peterson uses "You're hopeless".

This made me stop and think. Jesus would not say that. I really couldn't believe that Jesus would look at a group of people and call them hopeless. I couldn't believe that Jesus would write the scribes and Pharisees off as a hopeless case. Why would Peterson say that? I admit, there are times when I look at people and think they're hopeless, when I allow myself to believe they will never come to the light. But that is only when I forget about the great redeeming power of God. It's only when I look at them through my limited human perspective and forget the deep love and compassion God has for them. No, despite what Peterson said, the scribes and Pharisees were not hopeless.

Later last night, I lay in bed pondering this. And I got angry. Staring at the ceiling in the dark, in a whisper I shouted "No! No!" I was angry that someone would put those words in the mouth of Jesus. And slowly tears filled my eyes and began to slide down my face. To suggest that Jesus would look at someone and call them hopeless?! Yes, that was enough to make me cry.

As I continued to ponder this last night and today, I concluded it was simply impossible. If Jesus looked at the scribes and Pharisees and said "You're hopeless!", in essence what He was also saying is "I can't help you." Let me add some further context. At this time, Jesus is speaking in the temple just days before he is arrested, beaten, stripped naked, and crucified for ALL HUMANITY. It is mere days before He is to go to the cross, die a brutal death, be buried, resurrect, and thereby conquer sin and death. And He's telling the religious leaders they're hopeless? If Jesus  were to imply that they were a hopeless bunch, then He's also saying that the sacrifice He Himself is about to make, the greatest one this world has ever seen, is INSUFFICIENT.

No, the scribes and Pharisees were not hopeless, and I do not believe that Jesus ever would have wanted someone to think that. In fact, Jesus held ALL THE HOPE IN THE WORLD FOR THEM. Jesus said a lot of hard things in His ministry, and there are a lot that I cannot understand. But I cannot accept this idea. If you look back two chapters when Jesus is speaking in the temple, He shares a parable and asks a question of the religious leaders. After they answer, it says "Jesus said to them, 'Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him. And even when you saw it, you did not afterward change your minds and believe him.'" (Matthew 21:31b-32, ESV)

When I read those last couple verses, I can gather that the religious leaders were far from the kingdom of God. But there is absolutely no indication that they were beyond redemption. Just to make sure I wasn't totally in left field with my ideas, I checked Merriam-Webster's definition of "hopeless". Some of the definitions were "having or feeling no hope"; "unable to be changed"; and "incapable of redemption or improvement". If you serve Jesus, let me ask you this: Does that sound like something your Redeemer, THE Redeemer, would say? I also looked up "woe", as used in the ESV, just to make sure the word didn't mean hopeless or something. According to Merriam-Webster, "woe" as an interjection is "used to express grief, regret, or distress." I also looked up the word in Greek as used in Matthew 23, and it is indeed an interjection, "A primary exclamation of grief", according to Blue Letter Bible. From this evidence, I can certainly conclude that Jesus did not think the scribes and Pharisees were hopeless. However, He was deeply grieved over them. He extended the same invitation to them as to everyone else, but they weren't willing to receive it.

I want to take this further and relate it to my own life, and also speak into the lives of my readers. No one is hopeless. No one is beyond the redeeming power of Jesus. (The one case where I hold back is the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, and I'm not going to involve that in this discussion due to my limited understanding.) God has carried me through a lot of pain and brokenness. I know the hope that is found in Jesus. I have experienced some intense battles. One truth I'm learning is that the Gospel is sufficient for all things, and I choose to believe it even when I'm not immediately changed the way I want to be. Even when my spirit and flesh are at war with each other, and I allow flesh to win, I still cry out to Jesus, because I know that Jesus is my ONLY HOPE!

Now I want to say to my reader that you are not hopeless. No human being is so sinful or so religious that God cannot save and redeem them.  His grace extends to everyone. And I want to say to everyone, no matter what you have done, or where you find yourself, you are NOT hopeless.

To the liar, the cheat, the thief, and the fraud. You are NOT hopeless.

To the the rapist, the molester, the trafficker, the brothel owner, the pimp, the prostitute, the hustler, the john, the exotic dancer, and the porn star. You are NOT hopeless.

To the slave owner, trader, and beater. You are NOT hopeless.

To the fornicator, adulterer, homosexual, and ashamed or unashamed sexual addict of any kind. You are NOT hopeless.

To the abusive, negligent, or absent parent or spouse. You are NOT hopeless.

To the murderer, the terrorist, or the drunk driver that left a trail of broken, bleeding hearts. You are NOT hopeless.

To the mother and father that left your unborn baby bloody, dismembered, and disemboweled in the garbage at the abortion clinic, and to the doctor that did it. You are NOT hopeless.

To the mentally unstable, the depressed, the alcoholic, and drug addict. You are NOT hopeless.

To the medicator, the one hurting yourself to cover up a deeper pain, the one who thinks this world would be better off without you, or the one who thinks you just can't face one more day. You are NOT hopeless.

To the politicians and courts who are corrupt, who allow unspeakable injustices in our world, who allow parents to murder their children, who allow doctors to help people kill themselves, and who try to educate our young children in immorality. You are NOT hopeless.

To the broken, bleeding, abused, orphaned, widowed, lonely, enslaved, and abandoned. You are NOT hopeless.

To the person bound to the letter of the law, to the self-righteous, the religious, and the scribes and Pharisees of today. You are NOT hopeless.

If I forgot or didn't mention you, I want you to know something too. You are NOT hopeless.

No matter who you are, where you've been, what you've done, or what's been done to you, you are NOT hopeless. Jesus is HOPE. Jesus is LOVE. Jesus is GRACE. Jesus is REDEMPTION. And that extends to EVERYONE.

You are NOT hopeless. Jesus wants YOU!