What Are You Saying? Part Two

This is a continuation of What Are You Saying? Part One.

I observed something else on that day in the grocery store, namely how men dress.  Now immodesty is never addressed as much of a mens issue, but it's there. When I think about men and immodesty, I think of men with sagging jeans, exposing most of their boxers, complete with the belt that is not there for the purpose of keeping their pants up.  Rather, it frequently only achieves drawing more attention to the mid-section.  Difficult not to notice.

I usually don't have much sympathy for men who complain about shopping, but I have come to understand some of the challenges they face.  There's a lot of shirts out there with stupid stuff on them, as well as downright disturbing.  I observed this in the checkout line as well. A man was wearing a shirt with a woman on it.  She was hot alright.  Blonde, slim and dressed in only a blue skimpy bikini.  Typical, right?  Not quite.  This woman had chains wrapped around her.  From the way her head fell back and the weary expression on her face, she didn't even look conscious.  She had an evil, demon-like creature holding her up, his lustful face at her neck.  This image plastered the front and back of the shirt.  Perhaps you are surprised by the detail, but the image is fairly vividly burned into my mind.

Now I could talk about the message this shirt portrayed.  It spoke sex alright, but it also spoke of pain, torture, suffering, lust and evil.  What hurt me most though wasn't the shirt but rather the man wearing it and those around him.  This man was shopping with whom I assumed to be his wife and daughter.  I hadn't noticed something like this before.  Perhaps I assumed only single guys wore stuff like that, not married men.

I hurt.  I hurt for that man's wife and child.  What did they feel?  What was it like for a woman to be out in public with her husband wearing something like that?  For a little girl to be seen with her father like that?  Was his wife okay with him wearing that, or did they have an argument about it before leaving the house?  Was he a dominating husband who wouldn't be told what he could or could not do, who would wear what we wanted, with no thought of how it affected those around him?

Although I can't say for sure, I believe I saw pain and shame on that woman's face.  She looked embarrassed.  I had to wonder many things?  Was she even loved?  Was her husband faithful to her?  Did he have some private, or rather public life that she was ashamed about?  Did she, unlike the young woman flaunting her body, believe she was worthless because of the way her husband treated her?  Did she feel like she wasn't enough?  And what about that man's daughter?  What will that girl grow up believing about men?  About what girls are worth? 

What was he actually saying?

To be continued....

What Are You Saying? Part One

I'm starting a short blog series on what people say by what they wear.  This idea came to me after writing about my observations of people one day while waiting in the checkout line at the grocery store. It's not meant to be a series on modesty, or even just what people say about themselves by the way they dress.  I want to dig a little deeper into a few ideas that we may not always think about.  I'm not saying that all my thoughts are true.  They are thoughts and questions, so please don't take offense by what I put out here.

I was waiting in the checkout line on a busy Friday afternoon, on probably one of the hottest days of the summer and most people were dressed accordingly.  To be honest, I get annoyed sometimes when people always complain about immodesty, but I can't say it doesn't bother me.  I just don't vocalize it very much.  I often become very conscious of what people around me are wearing, especially when I'm out in public with a man.

On this day, I certainly did notice it.  Immodesty can be amusing, as strange as it sounds.  It's funny to see how girls act when dressed in such delicate outfits.  They try to hold everything together without anyone noticing.  A young woman walked by me wearing a pair of short denim shorts and a loose fitting, but very short yellow top exposing several inches of her tanned midriff.  As she was carrying a basket of groceries in one hand, she was trying to inconspicuously tug at her shorts with the other, which seemed a little big around the waist.   Now, I must say that a lot of girls who wear such exposing outfits are really not as hot as they think they are.  You notice this as well when you go to the beach and see how many larger women wear such exposing swimwear.  But that's besides the point.

What I thought about that day was how women who dress like this actually disrespect themselves.  Now I'm not sure how to explain this in a way that makes sense.  I don't know why some girls dress the way they do.  Do they simply want to be cool and comfortable?  Do they really think their bodies look that awesome, hot or sexy?  Do they do it because it's expected of them?  Or out of rebellion?  Do they want the attention from guys?  I'm sure for many of them, that's what they crave.  But do they know what kind of attention they're actually attracting?  If they knew, would they still want it?  Or would they be disgusted?  Would they get defensive and say "Well, they don't have to look!"?

Or is there deep down actually a lack of self-worth?  Do they really believe their bodies aren't worth saving for their spouse?  Do they think they're worthless trash, only wanted for one thing?  Do they wonder if perhaps they really are just something they're always called, so they might as well look the part?

Whatever is causing them to dress the way they do, I believe many girls lack respect for themselves.  They have somehow been convinced that their bodies, their sexuality, aren't something sacred, but rather to be flaunted for the world to see.  They have been convinced they have to look that way in order to be accepted or "loved".  If they don't, no guy will ever want them.

What the girl doesn't realize is that the right guy who will truly love her, not lust after her, will respect her for what she doesn't show the whole world.  He will love her for not flaunting her body and sexuality. He doesn't want what she shares with everyone who passes by, but what she can give to him alone in marriage.  And that's beautiful.

To be continued...