It's Just a Car

Early on this year, it became evident that I would need to purchase a new car soon.  Up until last week, I drove a 2002 Mazda Protege5 I had purchased two years ago.  It was the first car I owned.  When I bought it, it had it's defects.  It had very high mileage, it was starting to rust, had some dents, and so forth.  But the interior was mostly in excellent condition and clean, which was very important to me.  It was small, yet relatively spacious, fairly fuel efficient and it nicely suited my needs.

Unfortunately, cars don't stay in the same condition in which you buy them.  The body continued to rust and people commented on it frequently.  I mean, it stood out.  Silver with burnt orange highlights.  But I didn't see it while I was driving it, and I can say it rarely bothered me that much.  In the two years I had it, I did have to do two repairs aside from tire changes and regular services.  After the last repair, I tried searching after a couple mechanics recommended finding something new.  I really only repaired it to buy time, since I didn't want to have to buy a car under pressure.

I had an ideal car in mind that I really wanted.  After about a week, it became evident that financing wasn't an option for several reasons and I would simply have to wait, work, save, and pray.  At the same time, God was convicting me in an area of my life which I felt to be very ill timed.  But I obeyed His Word, in hopes that His promise would be fulfilled in my life.  I have heard some great stories of God provision when people needed cars, and thought maybe God would do the same.  It didn't happen.  I simply had to be patient and use wisely what He was entrusting to me.

By this summer, my Mazda was in rough shape.  I got a cracked windshield, scratched the one side up, the body continued to rot, and now at 300k, it had an oil leak that was really leaving it's mark.  Knowing it wasn't worth it, I decided not to fix this car, so I started hunting again.  My hunt only lasted about a week.  I browsed Kijiji, explored my options, knowing I wasn't going to get my ideal car, but searching for good alternatives.  I have prejudices against certain vehicles, some perhaps without solid reason, so this made it a little more difficult, especially within my budget.

I found something that interested me, but I didn't think I could afford it.  Well, perhaps.  I tried hard to figure out how it could work, and decided that if I compromised my financial principles, you know, just a little, it could work.  After a few warnings, I decided against it, and I'm confident I made the right choice there.

I found something else right away.  It was a black 2005 Nissan Altima 2.5S.  It drove nice and looked good for the most part.  It had some interior defects that I was disappointed about though, and some body scratches. After a couple hours of browsing dealers and viewing what was available within my budget, my mind kept coming back to that car.  I waited two days, in which time I considered a lot of the pros and cons, and the cons started scaring me.  But I felt that I would get a quality car, so in the end, it would be okay.  The next week, I went to the dealer, and looking at it again, there was no doubt in my mind, I signed the papers and made the deposit. 

Now, I'm leaving out a lot of details here for the sake of time, length and privacy.  But things didn't transpire exactly as I had hoped.  The car wasn't ready when expected and not everything was done in it that I was told was going to be done.  When I picked it up, there was a glaring defect on the vehicle that I didn't see there before, and am pretty convinced was not there when I drove it the week earlier, although I can't be entirely sure.  The person who had looked at the vehicle with me couldn't remember if it had been there before, but it was pretty hard not to notice.  I was a little disappointed.  Driving home, it drove nice.  Quiet.  Much quieter than my old one, almost too quiet.  And I had to be really careful not to drive faster than I normally did.  When I got home, I found some questionable content hidden in the glove compartment, and decided to simply dispose of the evidence.  It did make me wonder though.  But a lot of the interior dirt and grime wiped out, so despite my disappointments on Day 1, there were things to be thankful for.

Day 2 was my first day being seen by friends in this car.  It felt kind of nice.  But I also couldn't show it off as proudly as I would have liked.  I thought it would feel better but it had some glaring defects I couldn't get past.  There had been some marks inside the car that had puzzled me and I did have ideas, but since there was no noticeable odour, I ignored the thoughts.  Then my friend mentioned cigarette burns.  He hit the nail right on the head.  I never asked the dealer if it had been smoked in and I couldn't smell anything, but now putting that and prior evidence I found together made me wonder even more.  What kind of car did I buy?  That evening, the engine light came on.  How convenient.

Day 3, I found out the car had a second paint job.  An experienced painter could immediately tell.  The paint had looked different to me, but it hadn't crossed my mind before.  It made me wonder why.  By the end of the day, I was totally depressed.  I couldn't even look at my new car and be happy.  It just left a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was completely deflated and felt like I would regret this decision forever.  I felt like I had thrown away everything I had worked for into a car that I now felt cheated by.

And then it hit me.  Materialism.  This was at the root of my depression.  I had bought into the world's way of thinking long before I had bought this car.  I wanted a car for more than for the sake of getting around, although that was very necessary.  I viewed a car as a status symbol, just like the rest of the world.  So when I bought a new car, I wanted it to be good.  Now, I'm not talking very high end here.  My ideal was rather very low in comparison to the luxury available.  I didn't even want a brand new car.  But I wanted something that was at least unique in my social circle.  I wanted something none of my friends had.  I wanted at least a few people to impress, even if just a little.

So I couldn't get my ideal, but I still wanted the best I could get for the money I had.  When I found the Altima, I felt kind of like I had done that.  But this car has not given me the joy I thought it would.  It made me a lot more depressed in three days than my rusty Mazda ever did.  That's because material things ultimately can't satisfy us. They were never intended to.

You can't buy a perfect used car.  I learned that the hard way.  Cars are not built to last and they will not stay in mint condition forever.  So why do I put so much value into it?  Why am I so depressed when I found out after I bought it that it didn't meet my expectations, when it had more defects than I initially saw?  I mean, I got it and found out it didn't even have keyless entry!  How annoying isn't that?

Face it.  A car can't give you joy.  A car does not make you a better person, a better Christian, or a better witness.  It doesn't actually make you cooler, or hotter, or rank you above others in your social circle.  They are not a measuring stick of your worth.  They don't stay perfect and you will never find a used car that is perfect.  Even if you buy a brand new car, or a brand new house, it won't stay in that condition for long.  It's not meant to, and it's not meant to satisfy you.

In the end, it's just a car.  It's purpose it to get you safely, efficiently, and preferably in moderate comfort from Point A to Point B and back again without problems.  No, it's likely not your best interest to buy a car with 400k, body rotting out, that will have a host of mechanical problems, and if you're like me, been the home of ten different pets.  It's definitely wise to invest in a quality vehicle that will effectively serve your needs and hopefully cater to at least some of your preferences.  I also sincerely hope you are successful in finding such vehicles than I have been.  But it isn't the most important thing in life.

A car won't make me happy.  Ultimately, joy and fulfillment is found in Christ.  I may end up regretting the decision I made, but I have my doubts that it will seriously affect my relationship with Christ.  Not unless I allow it to take an unhealthy hold on my life.  My friends likely won't love me more or less.  Neither will God.  It may cost me more in some areas.  I was prepared for that when I bought it.  But in the end, it is just a car.  I think I can live with it.

Good News About Injustice

I have spent the past month reading Good News About Injustice: A Witness of Courage in a Hurting World by Gary Haugen, founder of International Justice Mission (IJM).  Haugen started IJM after investigating the Rwandan genocide in 1994 among the nearly one million bodies, mostly of women and children, that were brutally hacked to death.  Good News About Injustice takes a hard look at the injustice that exists in our world, examines the biblical call to justice, explains how a Christian can prepare for the work of justice, explains how injustice works and how IJM works against it.

One of the main things Haugen deals with in his book that I greatly appreciated is the topic of hope.  When we look at the atrocities that happen around the globe, it looks hopeless from a human standpoint.  But it isn't from God's.  Haugen shows readers how we can put our hope in the God of justice, compassion, moral clarity and rescue.  This is something we have to understand if we want to see change in our world.

In the discussion guide in the back of my book, there's a quote by C.S. Lewis: "Despair is a greater sin than any of the sins that provoke it."  The question was to reflect on this and determine whether or not we agreed and why.  I didn't have to ponder this long before I determined it to be true.  Despair indeed is a greater sin than the sins that provoke it.  Why?  Because despair gives power to sin.  Despair says the sin is too great and too difficult to conquer.  Despair gives power to sin and Satan and thus belittles the power of our great God.  But the truth is Christ has power over sin, and because of that, we can have hope!

Hope is important because it recognizes that God is in control and that He will one day have ultimate justice on the earth and make all things new.  Hope is crucial because it recognizes that those suffering can be rescued, and by God's grace, they can experience healing and renewal in their lives.  And the beautiful thing is that God raises up His children to be a part of this, to be His hands and feet, to bring love and compassion to the hurting and give them hope as well.

No, injustice is not a hopeless problem.  There is hope for the little boy slaving in a brick kiln, working to pay off his grandfather's debt.  There is hope for the girl who was promised a good job, but rather finds herself sold into a brothel instead, raped repeatedly every day by lustful men and treated as a commodity, not a person.  There is hope for the man wrongfully accused and imprisoned and the widow forced off her property, having everything taken from her simply because her husband died. 

There is hope!  And as Christians, we are to put our hope in the God of justice, the God who desires to bring about justice on the earth, and then be His instruments to bring hope to a hurting, dying world.  Are you willing to be that hope, to be a part of the good news about injustice?  Then read the book and learn what you can do.

What Can I Do?

Tomorrow I plan to go to an International Justice Mission Volunteer Development Day.  I'm going to go find out what I can do in regards to a problem involving an estimated 27 million people, how I can help put an end to slavery, sexual exploitation, injustice and oppression.  That's big.  That's taken a  lot of courage.

Our world has a lot of problems and injustice abounds.  I'm often saddened to see that there are so few people doing something about it.  But I do have a small understanding of why this happens because I have experienced it myself.

In our comfortable North American lives, we hear about these things.  Not often, and I think we can say that there are people very ignorant of the world's problems, but we do.  It isn't always plastered over the evening news, or over Yahoo news.  But injustice happens and most of us aren't wholly ignorant.

We are however so absorbed in our comfortable lives here that we have a hard time grasping these global issues.  We have a hard time comprehending problems that involve and affect millions or even billions of people.  And since we can't even comprehend it, we can hardly imagine coming up with solutions that would even make a dent in these problems.  It's so big and overwhelming, we don't know what to do.

Some have a real desire for change, have a real desire to do something, but just don't know where to start.  And some think that even if they do do something, it really won't make that big of a difference.  Even if they can help a few, there's still millions suffering.  Some feel they are too busy and don't have adequate time to give.  Let someone else do it.  Yet others wonder if it's actually God's will or calling upon their lives, so they sit and wait for some sort of audible voice to tell them what to do.  In the end, since they feel so helpless, most will just do nothing and try to ignore the problem.

Once we start meddling in the injustice of this world, once we start learning or doing something about slavery, exploitation, poverty, hunger, or disease, we start to experience a measure of discomfort.  Sometimes, we may even experience some pain.  I think all of us would agree that we don't like to experience physical or emotional pain.  But if we want to make a difference in this world, we have to risk pain.  We have to be willing to stare suffering in the face for what it is and feel it.  We have to be willing to let it hurt.  Sadly, most of us are weak and don't have the courage to do that.

The problems we see in this world are not just slavery, poverty, exploitation, hunger, disease and the like.  There is an enemy who is out to steal, kill and destroy and he has billions of lives in his grasp.  And although we in North America may be free of those things, he has us in his grasp too.  Satan twists our minds and turns them upon ourselves.  God commands us in His Word to seek justice and free people from oppression, to care for the orphan and the widow, but we are so focused on our own comforts that we can hardly bring ourselves to do it.  We hoard our time and resources so we can spend them on our own selfish pleasures, and although we have such an abundance, we can't seem to sacrifice more than dollars and cents to help alleviate the suffering in this world. 

When I read the Gospels though, I see that Jesus was very active in alleviating suffering. Very often, He relieved someone first of their physical suffering and they came to believe in Him through that. He fed the crowds, healed the sick, and cast out demons. Some of the apostles did the same thing.  Now we can't all heal the way Jesus did.  We do not all have that gift.  But I believe we can use the resources He has given us to bring healing and restoration to the suffering world around us.  I believe by doing this, we can open the door to share the love of Christ and the Gospel with those who's lives we touch.  He hasn't blessed us so incredibly to spend it all on ourselves.  He has meant for us to give.

Isaiah 1:17
"learn to do good;
seek justice,
correct oppression;
bring justice to the fatherless,
plead the widow's cause."

Where do you stand?  What will you do?  Will you continue to make excuses about why you can't help, why now isn't a good time, why you need to save your resources for something else?  Will you continue to protect your comfort zone with bubble wrap, hoping it won't get scathed?  Or are you willing to open up your life, to sacrifice and risk pain for those who know nothing else?

It's time to start asking "What can I do?" then find an answer.

I'm Alive

I feel like I owe it to my few readers to let them know I'm still here and explain my prolonged absence, especially since I may not be writing much for awhile.  I'm going through a season in my life where I'm asking a lot of questions, lacking understanding of many things, and seeking direction in many areas.  One of the things God seems to have impressed on my heart is to hold back on blogging.  He hasn't given me many new insights, and the things I have written, I have not felt the freedom to publish.  It seems best to me to hold back on sharing my thoughts with the online world until I have sorted through some things.  This isn't to say I won't ever write what's on my heart, but it will certainly be more limited.  But then again, I have felt this way several times this year already.

I will give you a peek into my life at present.  It's mostly split between work which brings about a variety of experiences, the kitchen, some more outdoor work now that summer is coming, and being active with my youth group.  This past weekend, our group had the opportunity to volunteer our time at a campground that needed a lot of work to prepare for the summer season.  I'm looking to get involved in some new things and excited about the activities in the weeks and months ahead.

As for media, I haven't been studying as I was for awhile, although I still have some 30-40 books on my shelf that have not been read.  I've been working my way through This Present Darkness by Frank E. Peretti.  It's a gripping novel of Satan's forces trying to take over a small town and a small band of Christians fighting off the powers of darkness.  It's a good take on spiritual warfare, the battle between angels and demons, and has made me think more of what's going on in and around me.

I'm also almost always listening to music and have discovered some new stuff recently.  TobyMac just released a catchy new song called "Me Without You."  But the one that had a really great effect on me a couple weeks ago was "Outta My Mind" by Anthem Lights.  That morning God impressed something on my heart that I have been praying about for about 16 months.  Although I had often heard this song, that day it articulated what I had been feeling. Watching everybody else be happy, everyone else's dreams come true, other people serving God in ways I had wanted to.  The picture hasn't really come into focus yet, but this song brings a change of perspective and changes the question.  I have to stop asking "What about me?" and start asking "What can I do?"

Even in this time, God has shown me I can rejoice.  My life doesn't make sense, and God hasn't been giving the answers yet.  But I can rejoice that He is God, He is in control, and He will lead me in the way I ought to go.  As He permits, I will continue to share pieces of my journey with you.

Difficult Blessings

About two weeks ago, I was going through a difficult experience, as I detailed in my last post.  In that time, I was reminding myself of the cross, what Jesus had done for me, and my great need for God.  It was hard.  And although it was hard, I was thankful for the experience in that I was learning my need for God in that time.

Well, that difficult experience got better.  My problems that were causing me grief got worked out.  I was more than happy to thank God for His grace and move forward.  I had, however, not learned my great need for God in the way I thought I had.  While I had seen it in one area of my life, I had forgotten it in another.  In the following days, I found myself wandering in my mind and seeking my own amusement.  It was fun and I was happy.  I did notice though that I didn't feel the need to spend the time in prayer as I had in recent days.  I shrugged off the thoughts that I allowed to linger and became increasingly relaxed toward sin.  Pushed it aside, thinking it really wasn't a big deal.  Looking back, I was rather alarmed at what passed through me at that time.

Four days.  Four days was all it took for this to transpire.  Four days from knowing my need for God in one area and ignoring it another and wanting to go my own way.  Looking back though, I know it didn't in actuality happen in just four days.  Compromise and sin rarely happen overnight.  It starts with tiny seeds that go unchecked.  It starts with that thought I know I should shut out but allow to linger a little longer.  It's a slow, yet very quick process when I let my guard against sin down a little, just a little bit more each time. 

And then I'm left wondering what happened as I find yourself sitting in filth once again, the mess I thought was a part of the past.  I wonder why I feel distant from God when only a few days earlier I so keenly felt the nearness of His presence. 

But in the time I was going through this, I felt another strange feeling come over me.  I wanted to utter a strange prayer.  I wanted to welcome difficulty into my life, because I knew it was often what kept me close to God.  It was the exact opposite of how I used to respond, when I turned away from God in hard times.  I know now that when life is breezy and I can go about amusing myself, I wander from Him.  I wander from purity and holiness.  I wander from the principles I believe in and begin to wonder if I should cast them aside.  I wander to ugly places and begin to become comfortable there again.  I never thought I would wish for life to become harder.

I have to come to God in repentance again, seeking Christ's power over sin.  I have to ask Him again to instill within me His desire for holiness.  I have to keep my focus on Him that I may continue on the narrow way.  I have to let the hard times keep me close to Him and not forget that when circumstances gets easier.

The difficult times we often go through can actually be blessings.  They don't feel that way at the time, but they are.  It's then that we grow and experience the nearness of God, when we know we need His strength for every step.  We forget that otherwise.  So next time you're going through a difficult time where you have to fall before the throne of grace at least ten times a day, be thankful that it's keeping you close to Him.  And remember to stay close to Him when He lifts you up to higher ground.

(By the way, before this post was even published, I had a difficult day where three specific events caused me much frustration.  I was not thrilled and it was hard to be thankful.  But I had to remind myself that it was what I had wished for, bring my frustration before God, try to learn from my mistakes and move on.  Be careful what you pray for.)

Remembering Jesus

It's Good Friday and I had to make a real effort yesterday to prepare myself for today.  It was a hard week.  A week where I was again left wondering why I am where I am, why God has given me the work He has.  Why me, and not someone who is more qualified, someone who doesn't make all the mistakes I do.  Days when I wonder if I'm doing more harm than good.  Mornings I wish I could crawl back into bed and hide from the world instead of face a new set of problems.  When I turn to listening to a certain artist because it helps me deal with the frustration inside.

Yesterday my boss had to tell me to go home and think about what Jesus had done for us.  There's more important things than the problems we face.  Jesus died and rose again for us!  Stop worrying and go think about that.  I needed that.  I went home, trying to comfort myself with that.  Thanking God that one day in heaven, we won't face the problems and stresses we do today.  Thanking God for the friends who love me and stand with me.  For the friends who show me another reason for me being where I am.  Spending time with God in prayer, resting in Him, knowing that He is in control.  Letting Him give peace in the midst of the storm and ache.  No, my problems aren't fixed, but I know I can't do it without Him.  I know He cares.  I know I need to stand strong for the other people around me.

About two years ago, I wrote a post called Clinging to Christ.  According to my Blogger stats, this has been the second most viewed post I have ever written, with 300 views.  This post was also a talk I gave around the same time to a youth gathering a friend hosted and asked me to speak at.  I had just been given the topic "Remembering Jesus."  At the time, I had come out of an extremely difficult time in my life. Actually, all of 2010 was very hard.  But I stood up in front of about 100 young people, many of whom I had never met, and shared that truths that had carried me through my pain.  In my talk, I also shared God's promises in Revelation, that one day He will wipe away all our tears, and there will be no more sorrow and pain.  Although what I'm experiencing now is very different from what I did two years ago, I can still hold onto this.

Right now, I have four days where I don't have to worry, where I can leave the stress behind for a bit.  Today I remember that there are more important things.  Jesus died and took my sin upon Himself so that I could be free. He cares and I can rest in Him.  He will give me the strength for each new day.  I can cling to that.  So can you.  Maybe like me, things are getting harder for you when you thought they would be getting easier.  Whatever you're facing, He can carry you through.  Look to the cross.  Stop and celebrate the Son of God, His death that covered your sin, and His resurrection that defeated death.  Find your rest in Him.

Think Big: The End Goal

I've been slowly making my way through Think Big: Unleashing Your Potential for Excellence by Dr. Ben Carson the past few weeks.  The first half of the book is largely biographical and details Ben's childhood and much of his medical career.  He places a lot of focus on the mentors in his life.  One of his stories in particular has left me with much to think about.

In high school, he had a band teacher, Mr. Doakes, who always pushed his students to give their best and perfect every piece of music they played.  Although Ben always appreciated this teacher and his confidence in his class, other students didn't and even referred to him as a slave driver.  In time, with Mr. Doakes' instruction and encouragement, Ben rose to the top of the class, just like in every other class.

One day, the teacher announced that four students in the class were eligible to audition for a prestigious summer music camp scholarship.  This was a camp that would provide gifted students with heavy-duty instruction and the opportunity of traveling the country and performing under famous directors.  Any student's acceptance into this program also reflected very favourably on his or her band teacher.

Of course, Ben asked Mr. Doakes if he though he was good enough.  Mr. Doakes assured Ben of his confidence that he could win this scholarship.  But when Ben asked if he would recommend him, he said "No."  You see, this teacher knew how well Ben was doing in his academic work and that he wanted to be a doctor.  He knew that the intense music camp would not allow Ben to focus on his other work.  Somewhere down the road, Ben had to make a choice between either music and science/medicine.  Knowing his heart was to be a doctor, the teacher said "No".

As we can imagine, Ben was very disappointed by this.  But walking away, he realized his teacher had done the most caring thing for him.  Mr. Doakes knew Ben's potential and his gift in music, but he also knew that this intense program would require a lot of time and energy and pursuing music to this degree would take away from his ultimate goal of being a doctor.  Although the teacher could have advanced himself through Ben, he was unselfish and told Ben "No", ultimately having his best interest in mind.  As it turns out, Ben's wife received a scholarship to this music camp while she was in high school.

You can gather many things from this story, such as the importance of mentoring and guiding a young person to make right decisions, even when they won't want to hear it.  But what struck me was just the fact that this teacher would not allow Ben to pursue something that would distract from his ultimate goal.  It reminded me of a conversation I had with a mentor several months back.  He basically said that if something does not allow me to fulfill my purpose, then I shouldn't spend time doing it.  That was hard for me to digest.  That meant having to cut some activities out of my life that I liked.

I have a confession to make.  I excel at wasting time and surrounding myself with distractions.  And I don't even have a personal cell phone!  I can procrastinate and avoid tasks I don't like by coming up with a ton of good "reasons" why today is not a good day.  And if I know I really have to do something, I'll do anything to delay, even if it means checking my facebook like ten times even though I know there's nothing new there.  Yeah, it's bad.

If you consider it honestly, very few people in our culture have a clear vision or purpose for their life.  And for the few that do, there are a host of potential distractions to take away from them fulfilling that purpose.  I'm facing that challenge.  It's not that I don't know where I want to go or what I want to do.  But somehow, what should be my free time to pursue those things get filled with an abundance of trivial, unimportant time-wasters and I feel like I have no time. 

There's so many things that can take away from our goals and our relationship with God.  Sometimes the decisions we have to make are hard.  Like Ben, there are things we enjoy and are very talented in, but since they don't contribute to our end goals, then often we have to let go of them to a degree.  It usually doesn't mean that we have to forsake them completely, but we do have to limit the amount of our time and energy they consume.

What is your vision?  Have you identified your purpose or your life goals?  Whether they are spiritual, family, educational or career ambitions, are you pursuing them fully? Or are you letting other trivial things stand in the way?  Sometimes, we have to sacrifice even the things we hold close to us if they don't lead us closer to God and the vision He has given us.  But in the end, I believe we will look back and see that it's worth it.

God Loves Broken People by Sheila Walsh

In God Loves Broken People, Sheila Walsh examines what brokenness is, the painful wounds people experience, and the fierce love God has for us.  She also explains how our brokenness can enable us to serve and reach out to others.   She uses a lot of stories, scriptures, quotes and a Bible study is included in the back of the book.

Something I like about this book is that Sheila understands what pain and brokenness is from personal experience and she's real about it.  She doesn't sugar-coat suffering, suggest the reader should just "suck-it-up", or imply that the reader lacks faith.  She doesn't offer answers to life's tough questions, but she understands the depth of pain and darkness that exists in the world and doesn't undermine it.  The stories and quotes she used gave it variety and I enjoyed it, but at times, it felt as if she borrowed a little too much other material.

Although I liked this book, I couldn't relate to the depth of pain often described.  I discovered how blessed I am in many ways!  To those who have experienced pain and suffering in their lives or are going through a dark time, I would definitely recommend this book.  If life has handed you sunshine and roses, you may still enjoy it, just not be able to relate to it as well.

I received a complimentary copy of this book through Booksneeze.com and was not required to write a positive review.  The opinions expressed are my own.

Giving God Your Dreams

Your dreams are safest in God's hands.  Do you believe that?

I've wrestled through the issue of dreams a lot the past month.  Somehow mine never seem to come true while everyone else's do.  Since when was that fair?

As I've evaluated my life, I noticed again how hard it is for me to surrender my dreams to God and then leave them in His hands.  I really want something, but when I resign myself to the fact that it won't happen, I let my dream fall to the ground, watch it get trampled and die.  Or so I think.

I often think I have let go of dreams, gotten over my disappointments and moved on with my life.  That is, until those dreams are realized in someone else's life.  Then those desires return and I become jealous and sometimes depressed or angry.  There's a child inside of me that stomps and screams "But those were MY dreams!"  (That child doesn't like to share either.)

In the past six months, I have seen or am seeing several of my dreams realized by other people, and many of them are younger than me.  It makes me wonder why.  Why them and not me?  They were all good dreams and I have prayed over every one of them.  So far to each of these, God has said "No" or "Not yet" to me and "Yes" to them.  At times I can't understand why.

I heard someone say once that we should give our dreams to God and let Him give them back to us.  In a sense, our dreams are safest in God's hands.  That's a hard thing to do.  It's hard giving your dreams to God, not knowing when or if you'll ever see them again, not knowing if they'll come true.  But I do believe that's what God wants us to do.  He knows the deepest desires of our hearts better than anyone else.  I've had to give dreams and plans to God not knowing if or how He will give them back to me.  Although I can't always see it, I do have to trust that His plans for my life are best.

In writing this, God brought me to Leslie Ludy's song "Far Beyond".  Although this song is written in the context of romantic dreams, I believe her words can be applied to all of our dreams.  Here's a portion of her lyrics, the rest of which can be seen under the Youtube video I linked to.

Far beyond my deepest heart's desire
Far beyond what I could ever dream
Far beyond my fairy tale imaginations
Is Your perfect plan for me
There's no limit to romance in all its beauty
When the author of love shapes my destiny
Far beyond the most that I could long for
I will find the dreams You have dreamed for me.

I could search forever
I could look for true love everywhere
If all my dreams were answered
They still could not compare
To the beauty of Your ways
And all Your plans for my life
Cause You've been scripting out a story for me
Before the very foundations of time.

Do you believe that? Are you willing to trust that God's dreams for you are the best?  I'll be the first to admit it's hard to do.  They may not seem to be what we're hoping for at the time, but He's painting on a far greater canvas than we can see, and if we trust Him, He promises the end result will be beautiful.

Make it Go Away!

Some readers might think that in light of my last post, this one is out of place.  I was just writing about overcoming sin and now I'm diving into temptation.  Huh?  But I believe it's needful that the two go hand in hand.

Do you think there will ever be a time in your life as a Christian that you will not face temptation?

I said the same thing you probably did.  "I wish!"  Wouldn't life and godliness be so much easier?  (By the way, the Bible says we already have everything we need for that.)  But when I look at scripture, I know that it will never happen and Jesus even said that temptation is needful.  I also see that Jesus faced all the same temptations we do, so why should we be exempt?

When people talk about Jesus being tempted, probably the most referenced passage is Luke 4:1-13.  But it seems sometimes that when I (or others) read this passage, a few details tend to get overlooked.  Here Jesus spent forty days fasting and praying in the wilderness and was tempted by the devil.  Verse 13 says "And when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from him until an opportune time."  The KJV says "he departed from him for a season."

I see a few important things here.  First of all, it seems that there was a lot more temptation going on during this event than was actually recorded.  And my guess is, if Satan is going to try to get the Son of God to sin, the one man who is out to redeem the world from Satan's evil grip and the curse of sin, he's not going to give up after three attempts.  There was possibly a more intense battle going on here than we read about, and it didn't end here.  Which leads to my second point.  Satan only left Jesus until he had a better opportunity.  We really don't know how much temptation Jesus actually faced in His lifetime, but He too had to face it on an ongoing basis.  And lastly, Jesus went into the wilderness after His baptism being filled with Holy Spirit, and in verse 14 it says that He returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit.  He went through it all in the power of the Spirit.

You see, sometimes we want to whine and plead with God to just make all this temptation go away and thus end our struggle with sin.  But the fact is, as long as we're living in the flesh and this fallen world, it's just going to happen.  We can't make it go away.  But Galatians 5:16 clearly tells us that if we walk in the Spirit, we will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.  Through the Spirit's power, we can stand against temptation.

One of the things I find temptation does is keep me humble and I dare say that's a good thing.  I can easily become puffed up thinking I'm more righteous than the next person.  But when I come face to face with hard temptation, I am reminded of my great need for God's grace and that I have to rely on His power to overcome sin.  It reminds me that He is the one who makes me worthy of being His child, because in this flesh, I have no worth of my own.

Yes, temptation will come, but it doesn't mean defeat.  If we yield ourselves to the Spirit of God, we can be overcomers.