It's Good Friday and I had to make a real effort yesterday to prepare myself for today. It was a hard week. A week where I was again left wondering why I am where I am, why God has given me the work He has. Why me, and not someone who is more qualified, someone who doesn't make all the mistakes I do. Days when I wonder if I'm doing more harm than good. Mornings I wish I could crawl back into bed and hide from the world instead of face a new set of problems. When I turn to listening to a certain artist because it helps me deal with the frustration inside.
Yesterday my boss had to tell me to go home and think about what Jesus had done for us. There's more important things than the problems we face. Jesus died and rose again for us! Stop worrying and go think about that. I needed that. I went home, trying to comfort myself with that. Thanking God that one day in heaven, we won't face the problems and stresses we do today. Thanking God for the friends who love me and stand with me. For the friends who show me another reason for me being where I am. Spending time with God in prayer, resting in Him, knowing that He is in control. Letting Him give peace in the midst of the storm and ache. No, my problems aren't fixed, but I know I can't do it without Him. I know He cares. I know I need to stand strong for the other people around me.
About two years ago, I wrote a post called Clinging to Christ. According to my Blogger stats, this has been the second most viewed post I have ever written, with 300 views. This post was also a talk I gave around the same time to a youth gathering a friend hosted and asked me to speak at. I had just been given the topic "Remembering Jesus." At the time, I had come out of an extremely difficult time in my life. Actually, all of 2010 was very hard. But I stood up in front of about 100 young people, many of whom I had never met, and shared that truths that had carried me through my pain. In my talk, I also shared God's promises in Revelation, that one day He will wipe away all our tears, and there will be no more sorrow and pain. Although what I'm experiencing now is very different from what I did two years ago, I can still hold onto this.
Right now, I have four days where I don't have to worry, where I can leave the stress behind for a bit. Today I remember that there are more important things. Jesus died and took my sin upon Himself so that I could be free. He cares and I can rest in Him. He will give me the strength for each new day. I can cling to that. So can you. Maybe like me, things are getting harder for you when you thought they would be getting easier. Whatever you're facing, He can carry you through. Look to the cross. Stop and celebrate the Son of God, His death that covered your sin, and His resurrection that defeated death. Find your rest in Him.
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